Out Of Toilet Paper

[Juruth]

He'll require a volunteer with an eager tongue for ass cleaning duty.

[_aj_]

.

[Lustral]

When I first moved out of parents' house got a nice apartment in middle of town. Before I'd moved in I went out to a local nightclub. Brought some slut back and rode her 3 or 4 times. Next morning I woke up about 7 am and took a horrific shit. Soon as I had finished I realised there was no toilet paper. Was going to have shower realised no towels. Kicked bird out of house and did that hobble like a wind-up toy you do when shit caked to ass down to mcdonalds. Never felt so good to wipe ass with mcdonalds napkins.

[240 is Back]

When I first moved out of parents' house got a nice apartment in middle of town. Before I'd moved in I went out to a local nightclub. Brought some slut back and rode her 3 or 4 times. Next morning I woke up about 7 am and took a horrific shit. Soon as I had finished I realised there was no toilet paper. Was going to have shower realised no towels. Kicked bird out of house and did that hobble like a wind-up toy you do when shit caked to ass down to mcdonalds. Never felt so good to wipe ass with mcdonalds napkins.

i had to hold it once for 45 minutes, when i went to a girls house early, and there was no tp or napkins anywhere.   drove to store, bought tp, came home and felt much better.

married her, never said a word, but by golly, *I* manage the TP in this place, that's for sure.   She comes to ME when the public bathroom is low, and my own bathroom is always fully stocked.

[jephrius]

When I first moved out of parents' house got a nice apartment in middle of town. Before I'd moved in I went out to a local nightclub. Brought some slut back and rode her 3 or 4 times. Next morning I woke up about 7 am and took a horrific shit. Soon as I had finished I realised there was no toilet paper. Was going to have shower realised no towels. Kicked bird out of house and did that hobble like a wind-up toy you do when shit caked to ass down to mcdonalds. Never felt so good to wipe ass with mcdonalds napkins.

Seems to be a theme around here:

I'll tell you something, the human body comes up with some funky smells when you don't shower and you run out of toilet paper. McDonald's napkins are alright but don't really get the job done.

[_bruce_]

.

 

[Lustral]

i had to hold it once for 45 minutes, when i went to a girls house early, and there was no tp or napkins anywhere.   drove to store, bought tp, came home and felt much better.

married her, never said a word, but by golly, *I* manage the TP in this place, that's for sure.   She comes to ME when the public bathroom is low, and my own bathroom is always fully stocked.

I shit myself a bit when outside other night. Shart if you will. Woke girlfriend and asked if she was washing clothes in the morning.

[the trainer]

For those of you who prefer to eat a female ass.

[MikMaq]

I once shit myself in living in college dorms. Woke up with a bed full of gravy.


Worst part was my friends back home decided to show up for a surprise trip to my college.

I managed to wash and throw out everything before they showed up.

But I kept smelling this awful  poo like smell that seemed to follow me everywhere I went.  Turns out I drank a ton of rum shots before passing out on the shitter. Being young it was just an unpleasant experience.

Ironically me and my friends drove back to my home village on the third day(long weekend), and one of my buddies took a shit in a gas station along the way. Came back and the car stunk like shit the whole way home(obviously they had no TP).



On a side note a year or two later after getting on the rum I learnt something new that rum stinks through your pores after a massive binge, so I spent the whole weekend stressin over nuttin. For years I wonder why some of my friends stank after drinking, never knew it was a rum thing(my liquor was vodka)

[Lustral]

For those of you who prefer to eat a female ass.

Female hippos don't count.

[gracie bjj]

i remeber i had to take a mean shit n i was at this hot broads house i just met like aweek before, anyway she had a bathroom that was near the living room where we where watching tv,anyway i was like,listen i need to get my cell phone outta my car outside,she said ok.i went outside n hid behind her bushes n squatted down n right in the middle of my dump i hear someone walking near me, then this big flashlite comes on me n its her standing there looking at me. i ran with my pants down n jumped in my car n smoked up the tires n i was gone,she kept calling me that night n said why did u run on the answer machine, she said its cool n dont worry about it. i was embarrassed to talk to her again but i seen her 2 days later n she was smiling at me with that look kinda saying i seen u taking a dump in my yard,i explained to her i was just embarrassed to shit in her house n she was cool with it

[FitnessFrenzy]

I once shit myself in living in college dorms. Woke up with a bed full of gravy.


Worst part was my friends back home decided to show up for a surprise trip to my college.

I managed to wash and throw out everything before they showed up.

But I kept smelling this awful  poo like smell that seemed to follow me everywhere I went.  Turns out I drank a ton of rum shots before passing out on the shitter. Being young it was just an unpleasant experience.

Ironically me and my friends drove back to my home village on the third day(long weekend), and one of my buddies took a shit in a gas station along the way. Came back and the car stunk like shit the whole way home(obviously they had no TP).



On a side note a year or two later after getting on the rum I learnt something new that rum stinks through your pores after a massive binge, so I spent the whole weekend stressin over nuttin. For years I wonder why some of my friends stank after drinking, never knew it was a rum thing(my liquor was vodka)

tbombz would love to be in that bed with you,.

[hench]

Jesus christ, you'd get a 3 course meal from clingons just around her hole!

For those of you who prefer to eat a female ass.

[FermiDirac]

For those of you who prefer to eat a female ass.

But is it grass fed? 

[TrueGrit]

Is that Radu and Sev?

[Archer77]

i had to hold it once for 45 minutes, when i went to a girls house early, and there was no tp or napkins anywhere.   drove to store, bought tp, came home and felt much better.

married her, never said a word, but by golly, *I* manage the TP in this place, that's for sure.   She comes to ME when the public bathroom is low, and my own bathroom is always fully stocked.

Damn right.  Women use a lot of toilet paper and rarely replace the roll.  Us men have to keep up on the situation or face the duck walk of shame.

[ProudVirgin69]

When I first moved out of parents' house got a nice apartment in middle of town. Before I'd moved in I went out to a local nightclub. Brought some slut back and rode her 3 or 4 times. Next morning I woke up about 7 am and took a horrific shit. Soon as I had finished I realised there was no toilet paper. Was going to have shower realised no towels. Kicked bird out of house and did that hobble like a wind-up toy you do when shit caked to ass down to mcdonalds. Never felt so good to wipe ass with mcdonalds napkins.

Should have just hopped in the shower

[loco]

Most getbiggers wipe with $100 bills when they run out of toilet paper.

[MikMaq]

Should have just hopped in the shower

Or just use your fucking had. Like fuck, if you got no TP, and no soap you is something else.