have a crack at this then...
AHAHAHA
I have one of those guys over at my section.
He's always talking about his "wee lad". Took me a couple of days to realise he meant his son and not his donger.

I always just grin and nod, I can't make out even 25% of what he says so I usually wait until he puts his thoughts down on paper and then reads his memos.
Also, had a summer internship in London some years ago, 3 out of 5 guys were Scottish. Most hilarious summer I've ever had. They sure knew how to drink.