Attn. Falcon

[TEMPER]

Don't give up on your dreams of music. You're a talented fat child.

Your most recent hypnotizing performance art piece "Mr. Cone Head and Rick Flair" is a god damned indie masterpiece.

There is apparently a market for Falconesque jams in redneck backyard biker birthday parties and such.

[SF1900]

32-48 seconds was very interesting.

[Hulkotron]

There are some things here.

[polychronopolous]

He needs a manager and some payin' gigs.

[forillagorilla]

If that fat dude is Marty/Falcon - I feel pretty bad busting his chops. There is something wrong with the guy.. Not just the obvious excessive estrogen but also mentally. His ignorant posts that I thought were simply weak attempts at humor by a socially awkward guy - are much more disturbing after seeing him.

The first video sadly is nothing more than faulty genetics and as inhumane as it sounds - there is absolutely no reason for any of the people making or watching them make that video to live. There would be nothing wrong with cleansing the gene pool.. Its absolutely no different than erradicating disease. Now I dont think cruelty is right and I wouldnt condone causing them pain. I just can't see a thing wrong with sedating and then putting them to sleep peacefully.

[Kwon_2]

If that fat dude is Marty/Falcon - I feel pretty bad busting his chops.

Why feel bad for him? He had a great time in his life back in his heyday.

3:30 when he was younger

0:55

We all grow older / experience changes in our body / add unwanted fat
and we don't respond as well or train with the same activity as we did when we were young. Not everyone is Frank Zane.

At least he's still boxing!

[thegamechanger]

looks like a greek god in those two last pictures here, if he had that look and appearance he would be worshipped in the jungles of south america.

[da_vinci]

32-48 seconds was very interesting.

Dude probably has been waiting for a chance to grab his dick for a long time and it was a perfect time to do it "for fun"/"I'm not a homo, just kidding".

[FitnessFrenzy]

The Falcon soars! There is a kind of mutual recognition or reciprocal identification that takes place between the exceedingly godly, and Falcon resides comfortably within the pantheon.

Johnny Falcon would be an interesting addition to Charles Saatchi's next big art exhibition. He could make performance art: boxing, listening to stoner music and reading Getbig posts out loud.

[thegamechanger]

i cant stop looking at the quack guy video 

[Twaddle]

Don't give up on your dreams of music. You're a talented fat child.

Is this a Falcon family reunion?  Which members were in attendance on this blessed day?   

[njflex]

for all his praise and accolades falconi gets on his build at one time,people forget to realize the dude can paint like a champ and sing like james taylor..

[Ronnie Rep]

Why feel bad for him? He had a great time in his life back in his heyday.

3:30 when he was younger

0:55

We all grow older / experience changes in our body / add unwanted fat
and we don't respond as well or train with the same activity as we did when we were young. Not everyone is Frank Zane.

At least he's still boxing!

Did Falcon get laid by any one of those Chapel Hill girls?

[Howard]

looks like a greek god in those two last pictures here, if he had that look and appearance he would be worshipped in the LOCKER ROOMS of south Hollywood.

fixed! Now it's getbig approved

[forillagorilla]

Why feel bad for him? He had a great time in his life back in his heyday.

3:30 when he was younger

0:55

We all grow older / experience changes in our body / add unwanted fat
and we don't respond as well or train with the same activity as we did when we were young. Not everyone is Frank Zane.

At least he's still boxing!

I just don't understand.. He wasn't in terrible shape younger but I am early 40's and while I am no longer in the Corps and don't compete in BB anymore - I could never let myself go. But THAT is not the reason.. There seems to be something seriously wrong with the guy... That looks like a pretty impoverished environment that he is in - yet he highlights it in video??  The video itself was odd as hell - like he is either on heavy drugs or just somewhat insane..

Either way - you are correct - if he is happy then who and I to tell him how to live?

[Grape Ape]

I just don't understand.

We've all realized that awhile ago.

[SF1900]

These are just some of the things that Falcon has accomplished:

Insane physique
Master of electricity
Disproved Einsteins Theory of Special Relativity
Master at painting and home-repair
Elite fighting skills, particularly boxing
One of the best vocals around
Plays guitar

[FitnessFrenzy]

I just don't understand.. He wasn't in terrible shape younger but I am early 40's and while I am no longer in the Corps and don't compete in BB anymore - I could never let myself go. But THAT is not the reason.. There seems to be something seriously wrong with the guy... That looks like a pretty impoverished environment that he is in - yet he highlights it in video??  The video itself was odd as hell - like he is either on heavy drugs or just somewhat insane..

Either way - you are correct - if he is happy then who and I to tell him how to live?

he recently posted that he was afraid that he would drink himself to death. Being a painter in rural USA is probably not a glamorous life. Falcon wishes for something he can not achieve, thus the drinking.

[Grape Ape]

These are just some of the things that Falcon has accomplished:

Insane physique
Master of electricity
Disproved Einsteins Theory of Special Relativity
Master at painting and home-repair
Elite fighting skills, particularly boxing
One of the best vocals around
Plays guitar

Also led small bands of weegars into battle victoriously
Survived vicious ho only losing xbox where others would have suffered much more severe damage
Holds current #1 on getbig charts with Contraband Wilson
Improved quality of life through exposing dangers of heme iron.

Thread could hit 50 pages if we list all accomplishments

[Marty Champions]

Why is 110v harder to get away from then 220

[SF1900]

Also led small bands of weegars into battle victoriously
Survived vicious ho only losing xbox where others would have suffered much more severe damage
Holds current #1 on getbig charts with Contraband Wilson
Improved quality of life through exposing dangers of heme iron.

Thread could hit 50 pages if we list all accomplishments

Oh yes, I forgot the dreaded heme iron. Very important. Falcon contributed great knowledge regarding the bad effects of heme iron!

[Primemuscle]

Oh yes, I forgot the dreaded heme iron. Very important. Falcon contributed great knowledge regarding the bad effects of heme iron!

Which is good to recall. Some folks are lucky if they have just one claim to fame, Falcon/Marty has many claims to fame....at least here on Getbig.

[Kahn.N.Singh]

These are just some of the things that Falcon has accomplished:

Insane physique
Master of electricity
Disproved Einsteins Theory of Special Relativity
Master at painting and home-repair
Elite fighting skills, particularly boxing
One of the best vocals around
Plays guitar

The sharp-eyed Falcon is the last of the pure polymaths.

Economist and Mathematician:

Falconometrics at its very best.

Nobel Prize Description:

Visionary, original, and unremittingly humanitarian, Johnny Falcon singlehandedly solved the world-wide neegul problem with the development of the Falcon formula, and then applied it in important, meaningful ways to solve the world's most pressing concerns. He has been awarded the Nobel Prize. Not one to rest on his laurels, Sir Falconbloke OM* devised another insightful model of the Falcon formula with a complex, mathematical algorithm based on the polyhedronal topology of pyramid shits. For this, he has won the coveted Fields Medal. Possessed with a restless energy, Falcon applied this groundbreaking model to persisting problems in world hunger, global mortgages, student loans, and the nefarious consumption of heme iron. Said United Nations Secretary General Ban Ki-moon in his Nobel Introduction, "Falconmensh is The Man, yo!"

* As he was referred to by Her Majesty, The Queen, who, drawn irresistibly to brawn AND brain, became his blushing new wife before suffering a fatal diving accident off La Quebrada cliffs in Acapulco during their too brief honeymoon. Having lost love so unexpectedly, Sir Falconbloke OM poured all of his considerable energies back to his work.

Astronomer:

Jheanpure Falconi is a great astronomer who is also a master of cultivating organic life.

Among the many treasures he has so munificently shared with humanity is this photo of the moon and her three lesser satellites, which Falconi captured quite serendipitously one evening by illuminous earthshine. I sometimes look out for these wondrous celestial bodies while I am alone during late-night walks amid my splendid crops, hoping to further enrich the fields with inspired onanistic fervency. Mille grazie, signore!

Dramaturge:

Ben Brantley calls A Night of Champions a triumphant blend of heroic moxie and monastic reflection: "Mixing elements of Augustinian confession and Pantagruelian picaresque, Marty Champions' dazzling one man show is like a Waiting for Godot where Godot not only shows up, he brings Zarathustra along to join him in taking a pyramid shit on your most accepted beliefs. Folks, this is 'Theatre of the Absorbed' – you'll laugh yourself to sleep and weep until your sides split. Absurd, you say? Put down the heme-iron and come find out!" Rating: 4/4 crates of raped grapefruits.

Falcon knows no limits!