Well, holy shit: first attempt was absolutely brutal. Quickly shattered any delusions I had and I doubt I'll be trying that again for a long time. We made the dough and did a 24-hour proof, then bought some really nice ingredients for it, following some good advice online.
We made two, but she went for a square option and tried to be Picasso or some shit with basil leaves and all that extra stuff I hate. Big mistake was sticking them on baking paper while we put the cheese on. Couldn't get the bastards off afterwards and ended up deforming them, so I had two retard-shaped pizzas to work with.
The oven fired up hotter than the gates of hell, which was nice, but I was sweating worse than Primemuscle finding out someone is going through his old posts. It was torture standing next to it while trying not to cremate the pizza (that's flour on the paddle, not ash). I was literally soaked and had sweat in my eyes, and stunk like I'd spent three days by a campfire.
Ultimately, they looked awful but didn't taste bad and we had a laugh. They didn't come close to Papa John's, though, and it was way too much effort.
