Christ I can`t post with tears in my fucking eyes.
Thanks fellas you are more of a family than my real g=family.
Love you guys......pretty choked up so O
Wes - I know that I’m nothing but a strange little Martian to you, but I’m thinking of you brother. I sleep like a narcoleptic with Tourette’s - going out and getting jolted awake every so often - so odds are that when you are having a rough night and can’t sleep I’ll be awake with ya man. I promise you that I’ll be thinking of you. I’m not much on prayer - not really sure God cares what I think, but I so believe there is a Creator and I believe that we all have purpose. We don’t know each other, but I get the impression that you have made some left turns in life when you should have gone right. I have the same anti-directional propensity!! I’m sure you’ve fckd up and caused others pain in your life - but from years of reading I KNOW you are a good man. I know how easy it is to beat yourself up and think you “deserve” bad shit that happens but that’s bullshit man! You deserve happiness!
I wish I could spew some bullshit like “god saves and you have nothing to worry about” but gods let too many people I love suffer. What I can tell you is that whether you have decades left or days - you DESERVE for them to be filled with peace and happiness. I sincerely pray that you have this.
Sorry for rambling man. I lost my very first “girlfriend” (we were not even old enough to go on dates that is how young) to cancer. That was almost 40 years ago and her cancer is 100% curable today. Back then she had no hope. That fckn sucked to see a young beautiful girl have zero dreams and accept it. You are a fighter my man!! I don’t think you should feel that you HAVE to fight, but if you choose to please do so with peace in your heart. Enjoy every fckn second that you have and again - if you have rough nights - know that there is someone out there that has been thinking of you and pulling for you brother