Dear Grape,
In trying times such as these, a Getbigger must take great care to guard against the emotions that you are currently struggling with. Verily, I say unto you that boredom erodes the soul of man. It is the random whore on the G&O, inviting you to waste the day by admiring her ginormous knockers. It is the stagnant pool in which Hankins bathes while juvenile fantasies of triumph and superstardom swirl around his mind like chaotic eddies.
Wallow in these fetid waters for too long and a man will find himself contemplating the unthinkable. You'll quickly give in to temptation and register a new account as, I don't know, a Muslim cleric, a fiery beaker of acerbic abuse, or, God forbid, an iron-pumping professor who weighs his own feces on kitchen scales.
I implore you not to go down this path of gimmickry and tomfoolery, from which there is no return.
Personally, whenever I find myself in such a pickle, I search for wisdom and guidance on the Religious Topics board. If you're looking for a particular subject to explore, might I gently encourage you to begin researching the brutal, prolonged gang-rape that Jesus endured during his crucifixion. It's a criminally neglected aspect of Christianity, and I believe there's much to learn about forgiveness and the folly of victim-shaming here. If you start a thread, I'd be happy to contribute.
