Getbig Bodybuilding, Figure and Fitness Forums
August 28, 2014, 12:44:45 AM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
 
   Home   Help Login Register  
Pages: [1]   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: Things I learned from 'Commando'  (Read 1288 times)
Quickerblade
Getbig V
*****
Posts: 9442



« on: February 24, 2007, 01:13:40 AM »



1) Porsches can "heal" themselves after repeatedly crashing into a Fiat and rolling onto their sides.

2) Two people can crash into a pole at 50 mph, wearing no seatbelts, and walk away.

3) Uzi's do not run out of ammunition until everyone is dead.

4) Being electrocuted will give you superhuman strength.

5) The best place to lock up a hostage is in a large roomwith balsa wood covering the window openings, with no guards outside the window.

6) The only way to break through balsa wood is with a disassembled doorknob.

7) Cheap airplanes are started by punching the control panel and saying "Fly or DIE!"

Cool The best way to discreetly tell someone that people may be out to get him is by flying a military helicopter through the rolling mountains of Southern California to meet him.

9) Three men in a van can easily survive an explosion caused by a rocket being shot into the van's gas tank.

10) You can't just unbutton someone's shirt. You have to rip it open, and hold it open while talking to them.

11) A man's center of gravity does not change when picking up another man and holding him at arm's length.

12) Surplus stores have enough equipment to blow up an entire compound.

13) The only way to break into a surplus store is by driving your handy bulldozer through the front of it, for everyone to see.

14) However, no one will see what happened in (13).

15) A Ford Bronco with no brakes can still brake.

16) A Ford Bronco will explode three times upon rollover.

17) Tranquilizer darts are instantaneously effective.

18) One can walk about an airplane during takeoff if he claims that he is airsick.

19) Old Fiats are as fast as new Porsches.

20) Explosives set on the outside of a building will cause the building to explode from the inside.

21) The US military's two best soldiers are an Austrian guy and an Australian guy.

Report to moderator   Logged
the shadow
Time Out
Getbig V
*
Posts: 10205


THE FLAG OF THE ZAPATISTA ARMY OF LIBERATION


« Reply #1 on: February 24, 2007, 01:14:29 AM »

wrong board dude..pos this on the entertainment board
Report to moderator   Logged

RATM RULZ THE WORLD
Quickerblade
Getbig V
*****
Posts: 9442



« Reply #2 on: February 24, 2007, 01:15:37 AM »

*Shopping malls have about 100 inept security guards apiece.

*Upon being blown up by a hand grenade, one does an acrobatic somersault.

*  If a large truck comes barreling down a mountain toward you while you are driving, you should not brake. Instead, you should just say, "he's gonna hit us!" and keep driving at the same speed.
Report to moderator   Logged
ribonucleic
Getbig V
*****
Posts: 5146


I bring you ultimate reality!


« Reply #3 on: February 24, 2007, 11:07:37 AM »

* Even if there are only minutes remaining before your daughter will be killed, take the time to apply facial camouflage paint for a daytime raid on an unforested area.

* Shoulder-mounted grenade launchers can be accurately fired by an airline stewardess on her second attempt after reading the directions printed on them.

* A dead henchman will always have exactly one possession on him that can lead you closer to the main bad guy.

* You can vertically drop 25 feet without even having to bend your knees if you cushion your landing by placing your hands on the shoulders of two guys standing below you.

* If someone chops your arm off with an axe, you will stand in place screaming - rather than falling to the ground in pain and shock.

* If you are dishonorably discharged from the army, you will only be able to afford chain-mail body armor.

* A military surplus store hiding hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of illegal weaponry will allow the secret area to be accessed by pressing a button under the counter near the register.

* Girls flirt with mall cops.

* When performing dangerous actions, one's normally massive torso will appear dramatically smaller.
Report to moderator   Logged
bmacsys
Getbig V
*****
Gender: Male
Posts: 6082

Getbig!


« Reply #4 on: February 24, 2007, 11:18:07 AM »


1) Porsches can "heal" themselves after repeatedly crashing into a Fiat and rolling onto their sides.

2) Two people can crash into a pole at 50 mph, wearing no seatbelts, and walk away.

3) Uzi's do not run out of ammunition until everyone is dead.

4) Being electrocuted will give you superhuman strength.

5) The best place to lock up a hostage is in a large roomwith balsa wood covering the window openings, with no guards outside the window.

6) The only way to break through balsa wood is with a disassembled doorknob.

7) Cheap airplanes are started by punching the control panel and saying "Fly or DIE!"

Cool The best way to discreetly tell someone that people may be out to get him is by flying a military helicopter through the rolling mountains of Southern California to meet him.

9) Three men in a van can easily survive an explosion caused by a rocket being shot into the van's gas tank.

10) You can't just unbutton someone's shirt. You have to rip it open, and hold it open while talking to them.

11) A man's center of gravity does not change when picking up another man and holding him at arm's length.

12) Surplus stores have enough equipment to blow up an entire compound.

13) The only way to break into a surplus store is by driving your handy bulldozer through the front of it, for everyone to see.

14) However, no one will see what happened in (13).

15) A Ford Bronco with no brakes can still brake.

16) A Ford Bronco will explode three times upon rollover.

17) Tranquilizer darts are instantaneously effective.

18) One can walk about an airplane during takeoff if he claims that he is airsick.

19) Old Fiats are as fast as new Porsches.

20) Explosives set on the outside of a building will cause the building to explode from the inside.

21) The US military's two best soldiers are an Austrian guy and an Australian guy.



This has been posted ad nauseum in the past.
Report to moderator   Logged

The House that Ruth built
ribonucleic
Getbig V
*****
Posts: 5146


I bring you ultimate reality!


« Reply #5 on: February 24, 2007, 11:33:26 AM »

This has been posted ad nauseum in the past.

You sure that wasn't Things I Learned From "Under Siege"?

You know....

1) Anti-seasick pills will get you so wasted that you won't notice you're dancing in an empty room - rather than being cheered on by 100 horny sailors.
Report to moderator   Logged
Sljck-NjnjaRjder
Getbig IV
****
Gender: Male
Posts: 2394

Nobody is jealous of a loser!


« Reply #6 on: February 25, 2007, 11:56:36 AM »

You sure that wasn't Things I Learned From "Under Siege"?

You know....

1) Anti-seasick pills will get you so wasted that you won't notice you're dancing in an empty room - rather than being cheered on by 100 horny sailors.

How about...

If you place a dish rag in a cup with some normal kitchen solvents and then place that in a microwave, it will explode only when someone walks in front of the microwave causing mayhem and chaos.
Report to moderator   Logged

Sleep Big.
Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Theme created by Egad Community. Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.19 | SMF © 2013, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!