I want to apologize to everyone on getbig for turning Kiwi into a blubbering pile of goo.
Yes it was me…..Do you guys remember that Seinfeld episode where one of Jerry’s dates wanted him to be more sensitive and then he cant stop the water works? Or the Friends episode with Bruce Willis when Rachel wants him to open up and then he cant stop crying?
When I first met Kiwiol he was a very logical steel minded scientist type who never showed a sign of sentimentality, a heart as cold as an Alaskan river stone.
Well we had a debate one day about the treatment of animals in labs. I couldn’t appeal to him with facts and I couldn’t get anywhere near his soul, if in fact he possessed one?. This man had a heart even the Tin Man would reject.
So before I ended our debate I asked him if he could do me a favor. I asked him to bring the animal's cages at the lab where he works to the window and let them see what sunshine looked like. I ask him to let the wind blow through their cages just once before their lives were ended in some pointless tax wasting experiment. I think I touched his heart but I wasn't sure. He ended by saying he had won. And that was it.
Then maybe a few days later, he turned into a big estrogen egg omelet. Instead of the big burly bachelor he once was he was now devoted to an internet goddess. No longer the taciturn ape we knew and loved but a caring thoughtful person. Instead of studying to become a steely sour-puss scientist he now wants to be a philosophical poet. He has lost it just like Jerry, just like Bruce. Where are Elaine and Rachel when you need them?
I know, you’re all saying leave it to a gay guy ..they are going to ruin the world, just like that stupid Queer Eye show, right? Well, I’m sorry that’s not what I wanted. I didn’t intend to turn one of your team mates into a girllie man.
I want the old Kiwi back but I think it’s too late.
