I met a racist today

[ThaRealist]

Observation of mine, not fact:

Black women have the biggest problem with authority, taking criticism, punishment, and assume racism most often.  Just my experience.

I really hate to bring this up, but out of all my clients that I have trained in the past the only one of them that had a problem with me charging them for a no call/no show session was a black woman...I sat down with her and had a one-on-one conversation to explain it to her and she pulled the race card on me and I couldn't believe it ...I basically told her that I would drop her as a client if she feels that I am giving her any kind of extra fee's based on race...To this day that still gets on my nerves that she was trying to pull the race card for special treatment....

[Camel Jockey]

Observation of mine, not fact:

Black women have the biggest problem with authority, taking criticism, punishment, and assume racism most often.  Just my experience.

Jag is a testament to that.

[chaos]

Jag is a testament to that.

Amen.

[Always Sore]

Observation of mine, not fact:

Black women have the biggest problem with authority, taking criticism, punishment, and assume racism most often.  Just my experience.

Do you think it has more to do with the culture? I think black women are constantly bombarded with being a "strong black women" and it becomes almost a mantra. Throw in that black men are also under the gun to be "players" and the reinforcement that its "cool" to sleep with many women and have many kids. You don't see ad's telling white women to be "strong white women". I think with this generation they have come into there voice and have stepped beyond the shadow of men (similar to all women in the 60's) and are asserting thereselves and there feelings. It does not make it right to play the race card but if it's a concern of theres they are going to voice it. After some time people come to realise its what you do and how you do it that gets you either promoted or critised.

[Old_Rooster]

Wait-youre black? When did this happen?? I always figured you for a hippie from europe or something. Crazy...

I STILL LOVE HER!

[Cap]

Do you think it has more to do with the culture? I think black women are constantly bombarded with being a "strong black women" and it becomes almost a mantra. Throw in that black men are also under the gun to be "players" and the reinforcement that its "cool" to sleep with many women and have many kids. You don't see ad's telling white women to be "strong white women". I think with this generation they have come into there voice and have stepped beyond the shadow of men (similar to all women in the 60's) and are asserting thereselves and there feelings. It does not make it right to play the race card but if it's a concern of theres they are going to voice it. After some time people come to realise its what you do and how you do it that gets you either promoted or critised.

Now, it's because they are the loudest people where I work and they repeatedly ignore me so of course they are going to get extra attention.  In terms of listening to authority, IMHO, they are the worst.  Black dudes listen to me more often and joke with me about it.  These chicks fly off the handle and get pissy.

[ToxicAvenger]

Do you think it has more to do with the culture? I think black women are constantly bombarded with being a "strong black women" and it becomes almost a mantra. Throw in that black men are also under the gun to be "players" and the reinforcement that its "cool" to sleep with many women and have many kids. You don't see ad's telling white women to be "strong white women". I think with this generation they have come into there voice and have stepped beyond the shadow of men (similar to all women in the 60's) and are asserting thereselves and there feelings. It does not make it right to play the race card but if it's a concern of theres they are going to voice it. After some time people come to realise its what you do and how you do it that gets you either promoted or critised.

of course its culture...i've said it a zillion times on here..

its not specifically Amercian blacks that i dislike..its their damn culture..

all my black friends r jamican...euthopean..nig erian or from ghana (brillian people from ghana btw for some reason)

[24KT]

Interesting experience that's for sure.  Interesting he even brought it up.  The only thing I can think of is that he thought you would think that is why he did not sell it to him.

DING DING DING!!!



That was my point Cap! for him to bring that up out of the blue...
he was far too conscious of the fact that he was talking to a Black person (or in his mind... {whisper} a "COLOURED")

He wasn't talking to a person about a car, ...he was talking to {whisper} a COLOURED 

For him to even suspect I could possibly think such a thing tells me the guy is far too conscious of race.
consider this for a moment, ...what if he had been talking to a blonde person, ...how ridiculous would it be for someone to assume that maybe they think I won't sell them the car because they have blonde hair, ...or maybe it's because they are wearing a peach coloured sweater... or maybe it's because she's wearing a Rolex and not a Timex... come on.

Do you not see how ridiculous that was? And for him to have to furtively whisper to me that his son-in-law was Black... WTF? I don't give a poop about your family... I wanna know if you're willng to sell the car.  The guy was too acutely aware of race, and that's what makes him a racist. Just because his acute awareness was not accompanied by hatred or hostility, doesn't make him any less racist.

You even see this online even. In a forum such as this, where the only means of communication is through type, you have people who will hurl insults at each other. They're generic insults, idiot, moron etc., ...but as soon as they discover the ethnicity of that person... the insults take on ethnic slurs. Why is that? ...especially when this medium does not lend itself to a daily visual reminder of the ethnicity of the individual?  One day I'm an idiot, ...then someone finds out I'm a woman, and idiot turns to bitch. Then they find out I'm a Black woman, ...and Bitch turns to VooDoo Queen. WTF? 

[24KT]

gotta be honest here, it sounds like you're bitter over being rejected, why else would you sound so emotional over somebody you talked to one time.

Wow, you actually think I came across as bitter or emotional in that post? Not at all. I was actually amused.
I simply posted that to illustrate that racism exists in many forms. It's not all white sheets and burning crosses.
It often reveals itself in the most unlikely of places, ...even in sweet loveable seemingly harmless people.

[Cap]

Not sure if you were sincere or making fun of me but either way your story is an interesting one.  It reminds me of a scene from Barbershop 2.  If I find it I will post it for you. 

[24KT]

Jag, you got to understand something about whites who are not "actively racist" Blacks make such a big deal at the slightest incorrectly stated thing they're walking on eggshells afraid to say the wrong thing.  Often they overthink what to say in an attempt not to say the wrong thing and end up saying the wrong thing. For small infringements, try to look past the words and at the person's heart.  He may not have been a racist just because he spoke something that could be construed as racist.  I would be more worried about the guys who know they're racist than the guys who, "don't know they're"

I didn't mean to infer his use of the term 'coloured' was indicative of his racism. I merely chalk that up to his being a product of his generation. It was his acute awareness of the fact that he was talking to a Black woman, coupled with his need to whisper his son-in-law's ethnicity. We were standing in the middle of a huge parking lot, and he looks both ways and whispers? {LOL} You had to have been there. I don't know how I managed not to burst out laughing.

[24KT]

As usual, you miss the boat. The guy wasn't a racist. He was ignorant. There's a difference.

True, all racism is ignorance, but not all ignorance is racism, ... however, he is a racist.

A racist believes his race is superior to others. This guy probably grew up in a community where everyone looked liked him, and he didn't have to concern himself with knowing the latest PC term to call a black person.

no, not all racists believe their race is superior to others. Its the racial supremicists who believe that.
Again, not refering to a non-current, unPC term.

[24KT]

Jag is a testament to that.

You're just saying that 'cause I'm Black right?   

[24KT]

Now, it's because they are the loudest people where I work and they repeatedly ignore me so of course they are going to get extra attention.  In terms of listening to authority, IMHO, they are the worst.  Black dudes listen to me more often and joke with me about it.  These chicks fly off the handle and get pissy.

Sounds to me like you haven't earned their respect.

[24KT]

Not sure if you were sincere or making fun of me but either way your story is an interesting one.  It reminds me of a scene from Barbershop 2.  If I find it I will post it for you. 

nope wasn't making fun of you at all. that was my point. Where the heck did that come from?

[ToxicAvenger]

Judi why do i get away with saying all that crap when no one else does?

why didn't ya pick on me 

see what i mean...diofferent peoples opinion of whats racist differs..


you stand up for people with self esteem issues..which is noble..yes..but i doubt ya actually thought he ws racist..ya thought he ws an insecure ijit..but not racist..

you made this thread according to what ANOTHER black woman would think..not you..

i KNOW this...

[Cap]

nope wasn't making fun of you at all. that was my point. Where the heck did that come from?

Just from our normal exchanges.   

Sounds to me like you haven't earned their respect.

I have worked one on one with two of them.  Nobody I work with has earned their respect, whether they discipline them or not.  To me it is a lack of respect on their part.

[24KT]

Judi why do i get away with saying all that crap when no one else does?

I've been waiting for an answer to that one as well. 

why didn't ya pick on me 

see what i mean...diofferent peoples opinion of whats racist differs..


you stand up for people with self esteem issues..which is noble..yes..but i doubt ya actually thought he ws racist..ya thought he ws an insecure ijit..but not racist..

I thought he was an insecure idiot, ...as well as a racist. 

you made this thread according to what ANOTHER black woman would think..not you..

i KNOW this...

 

[24KT]

Just from our normal exchanges.   
 I have worked one on one with two of them.  Nobody I work with has earned their respect, whether they discipline them or not.  To me it is a lack of respect on their part.

No, I mean't where the heck did that come from on his part.
It was the wierdest thing for him to say so out-of-the-blue like that.

[Cap]

No, I mean't where the heck did that come from on his part.
It was the wierdest thing for him to say so out-of-the-blue like that.

Seriously.  That would be like me in the interaction with the Black girls I deal with and saying "it's okay, I talk to a black woman online....."

[youandme]

Seriously.  That would be like me in the interaction with the Black girls I deal with and saying "it's okay, I talk to a black woman online....."

lol also a great pick up line

[Cap]

lol also a great pick up line

Black Girl:  "Cool, it's like you're inside my head already.  Lol"

[Camel Jockey]

DING DING DING!!!


Do you not see how ridiculous that was? And for him to have to furtively whisper to me that his son-in-law was Black... WTF? I don't give a poop about your family... I wanna know if you're willng to sell the car.  The guy was too acutely aware of race, and that's what makes him a racist. Just because his acute awareness was not accompanied by hatred or hostility, doesn't make him any less racist.

I think you need a man. 

Jag, I think we know what forms racisms exists in today's world. Your experience was not a big deal, which ever way you spin it. Everyone's human and prone to assumptions, including you and I..

I've had experiences where people made assumptions about me that I didn't like. I didn't whine or complain about the experiences, rather I showed them I'm not what they assumed by being myself. Whether they got it then or not is a big deal, as the things they assumed about me were minor. Like this one time I was leaving the metropolitan museum of art with the hoodie on(it was a little chilly) around 8 pm in Manhattan. I was in a alley with this white woman and she seemed very uncomfortable for reasons unknown to me. Maybe she thought I was a stalker or something? Of course naturally I felt a little offended.. I removed the hood from by head and suddenly she didn't seem flustered anymore, although that didn't make me feel any better. I just shrugged it off as a woman being defensive and I certainly didn't think it was racist, sexist or anything of that nature. Hell, we pretty much walked up to an intersection almost parallel to one another and made eye contact, but I didn't ask her why she seemed worried or anything because it was not a big deal to me.

Jag, I think you're being a big baby about this whole incident.

[24KT]

I think you need a man. 

{LOL} no comment. 

Jag, I think we know what forms racisms exists in today's world. Your experience was not a big deal, which ever way you spin it. Everyone's human and prone to assumptions, including you and I..

Am I giving the impression that i thought this was a big deal? I'm not trying to. infact, I used that because it was one of the most benign incidents of racism that I could think of. I did so to start a discussion about racism and it's various manifestations.

I've had experiences where people made assumptions about me that I didn't like. I didn't whine or complain about the experiences, rather I showed them I'm not what they assumed by being myself. Whether they got it then or not is a big deal, as the things they assumed about me were minor. Like this one time I was leaving the metropolitan museum of art with the hoodie on(it was a little chilly) around 8 pm in Manhattan. I was in a alley with this white woman and she seemed very uncomfortable for reasons unknown to me. Maybe she thought I was a stalker or something? Of course naturally I felt a little offended.. I removed the hood from by head and suddenly she didn't seem flustered anymore, although that didn't make me feel any better. I just shrugged it off as a woman being defensive and I certainly didn't think it was racist, sexist or anything of that nature. Hell, we pretty much walked up to an intersection almost parallel to one another and made eye contact, but I didn't ask her why she seemed worried or anything because it was not a big deal to me.

so let me get this straight... you're a bodybuilder (therefore a big guy I assume) Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.
...and you're walking in an alley, ...in NYC, with a hoodie, ...and you were offended that she seemed concerned? honey, if I was in an alley in NYC at 8pm, I WOULD BE CONCERNED whether you were there or not! 

Jag, I think you're being a big baby about this whole incident.

Moi, ...being a big baby? ...sometimes... but not this time. The most traumatizing part of the whole incident, was knowing there was no way he was ever gonna part with that car.

[Camel Jockey]

so let me get this straight... you're a bodybuilder (therefore a big guy I assume) Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.
...and you're walking in an alley, ...in NYC, with a hoodie, ...and you were offended that she seemed concerned? honey, if I was in an alley in NYC at 8pm, I WOULD BE CONCERNED whether you were there or not!   

I'm 6 foot, but I say 6'1" these days. 

This was close to park avenue.. Yeah, like I'm gonna rape her infront of million dollar townhouses and apartments.