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Author Topic: How to be a Good Wife  (Read 2381 times)

Princess L

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How to be a Good Wife
« on: July 10, 2007, 08:24:23 PM »

I have my grandmothers old Settlement cookbook and this is in there!


http://www.snopes.com/language/document/goodwife.asp
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ToxicAvenger

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Re: How to be a Good Wife
« Reply #1 on: July 10, 2007, 08:36:32 PM »
i didn't read that but i'll put in my ha'penny!

!) let your man in teh back door once in a while..b-days etc..i know i know it hurts..buut THATS WHY GUYS LIKE IT...make me feel like i got jurrasic kok once in a while hon...when you r squirmin and all..i'm feeling pretty good about me self.

!) let your man sit at the coffee store when ya drag him to the mall..or better yet at the mini resturant in the mall where he can sit and read and enjoy some wine and maybe flirt with the waitress a bit...


!) ammendmum to teh above..let him flirt with the waitress he's just flirting...he'll find you more attractive after...confidence is attractive (at least to me)


!) when he returns from work..DO NOT start yabbering off..give him 30 mins to down a glass of wine..take off his shoes..wash his face..then you may yabber..


!)  have good table manners and correct me when i stray from mine..



.thats all i ask..
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SamoanIrishman

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Re: How to be a Good Wife
« Reply #2 on: July 11, 2007, 08:05:29 AM »
I like this one better!!!! I thank GOD everyday I didn't exist back when this was accepted!!! :'(


http://www.snopes.com/weddings/newlywed/advice.asp
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Always Sore

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Re: How to be a Good Wife
« Reply #3 on: July 11, 2007, 08:11:21 AM »
Quote from: ProteinFarts! on July 10, 2007, 08:36:32 PM
i didn't read that but i'll put in my ha'penny!

!) let your man in teh back door once in a while..b-days etc..i know i know it hurts..buut THATS WHY GUYS LIKE IT...make me feel like i got jurrasic kok once in a while hon...when you r squirmin and all..i'm feeling pretty good about me self.

!) let your man sit at the coffee store when ya drag him to the mall..or better yet at the mini resturant in the mall where he can sit and read and enjoy some wine and maybe flirt with the waitress a bit...


!) ammendmum to teh above..let him flirt with the waitress he's just flirting...he'll find you more attractive after...confidence is attractive (at least to me)


!) when he returns from work..DO NOT start yabbering off..give him 30 mins to down a glass of wine..take off his shoes..wash his face..then you may yabber..


!)  have good table manners and correct me when i stray from mine..



.thats all i ask..
You are a freaking genius... ;D
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ToxicAvenger

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Re: How to be a Good Wife
« Reply #4 on: July 11, 2007, 10:27:13 AM »
Quote from: Always Sore on July 11, 2007, 08:11:21 AM
You are a freaking genius... ;D

i wus in college at 15..sooo yessum  ;D

<bows>
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24KT

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Re: How to be a Good Wife
« Reply #5 on: July 11, 2007, 08:55:44 PM »
Quote from: SamoanIrishman on July 11, 2007, 08:05:29 AM
I like this one better!!!! I thank GOD everyday I didn't exist back when this was accepted!!! :'(


http://www.snopes.com/weddings/newlywed/advice.asp

Reading that I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Could you just imagine life like that?
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Lord Humungous

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Re: How to be a Good Wife
« Reply #6 on: July 12, 2007, 05:10:41 AM »
I agree with #3 "be gay" Invite a girlfriend over that you might like to make out with!  8)
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SamoanIrishman

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Re: How to be a Good Wife
« Reply #7 on: July 12, 2007, 07:50:14 AM »
Quote from: jaguarenterprises on July 11, 2007, 08:55:44 PM
Reading that I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Could you just imagine life like that?

No. My OPINION is that God made it enjoyable for a reason...so we can enjoy it. Otherwise we would only copulate during "ovulation" and it would be more instinct (like animals) vs. "at will".

It's like seeing in color or taste...you don't need either to survive...but it makes life a whole lot more enjoyable.
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ToxicAvenger

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Re: How to be a Good Wife
« Reply #8 on: July 12, 2007, 10:19:46 AM »
Quote from: SamoanIrishman on July 12, 2007, 07:50:14 AM


It's like seeing in color or taste...you don't need either to survive...but it makes life a whole lot more enjoyable.


 :-\


there is a REASON poison tastes nasty..

there is a reason dangerous snakes and often brightly coloured..
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SamoanIrishman

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Re: How to be a Good Wife
« Reply #9 on: July 12, 2007, 11:48:39 AM »
Quote from: ProteinFarts! on July 12, 2007, 10:19:46 AM

 :-\


there is a REASON poison tastes nasty..

there is a reason dangerous snakes and often brightly coloured..

Sure, but there are species that have survived without hearing, smelling ect... but I see your point.

My only point was as HUMANS we enjoy sex for recreation not JUST for procreation. Though there are a select few in the animal world that masturbate. Then again maybe it's an assumptions...anyone ever get a clear answer from an animal if they have sex just for kicks? ;)
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tu_holmes

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Re: How to be a Good Wife
« Reply #10 on: July 12, 2007, 11:53:34 AM »
Quote from: SamoanIrishman on July 12, 2007, 11:48:39 AM
Sure, but there are species that have survived without hearing, smelling ect... but I see your point.

My only point was as HUMANS we enjoy sex for recreation not JUST for procreation. Though there are a select few in the animal world that masturbate. Then again maybe it's an assumptions...anyone ever get a clear answer from an animal if they have sex just for kicks? ;)

I believe Lions have sex for pleasure...
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ToxicAvenger

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Re: How to be a Good Wife
« Reply #11 on: July 12, 2007, 12:11:49 PM »
Quote from: SamoanIrishman on July 12, 2007, 11:48:39 AM


My only point was as HUMANS we enjoy sex for recreation not JUST for procreation. Though there are a select few in the animal world that masturbate. Then again maybe it's an assumptions...anyone ever get a clear answer from an animal if they have sex just for kicks? ;)

gorilas masterbate..ronnie coleman masterbated once back in 1993..then he became christian  :D


there is something to be said for mating behaviour...kinda like foreplay no?



Quote
Sure, but there are species that have survived without hearing, smelling ect... but I see your point.

yeah like ameba..  :-\
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24KT

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Re: How to be a Good Wife
« Reply #12 on: July 13, 2007, 01:44:09 AM »
Quote from: SamoanIrishman on July 12, 2007, 11:48:39 AM
Sure, but there are species that have survived without hearing, smelling ect... but I see your point.

My only point was as HUMANS we enjoy sex for recreation not JUST for procreation. Though there are a select few in the animal world that masturbate. Then again maybe it's an assumptions...anyone ever get a clear answer from an animal if they have sex just for kicks? ;)

Ya, ...it came from the damned dog that tried to hump my leg!   >:(

ps: - No bitch jokes please!
pps: you know who you are...  ;)
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SamoanIrishman

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Re: How to be a Good Wife
« Reply #13 on: July 17, 2007, 09:26:36 AM »
Quote from: jaguarenterprises on July 13, 2007, 01:44:09 AM
Ya, ...it came from the damned dog that tried to hump my leg!   >:(


Well you know how to get them to stop don't you?...
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Hustle Man

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Re: How to be a Good Wife
« Reply #14 on: July 17, 2007, 11:44:19 AM »
Quote from: Princess L on July 10, 2007, 08:24:23 PM

I have my grandmothers old Settlement cookbook and this is in there!


http://www.snopes.com/language/document/goodwife.asp


They need to incorporate this into our schools national required curriculum and start handing these out in 5 grade!
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24KT

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Re: How to be a Good Wife
« Reply #15 on: July 17, 2007, 02:11:32 PM »
Quote from: SamoanIrishman on July 17, 2007, 09:26:36 AM
Well you know how to get them to stop don't you?...



If you say 'offer them a different body part', ...I'm gonna toss my cookies.
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SamoanIrishman

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Re: How to be a Good Wife
« Reply #16 on: July 17, 2007, 02:16:45 PM »
Quote from: jaguarenterprises on July 17, 2007, 02:11:32 PM


If you say 'offer them a different body part', ...I'm gonna toss my cookies.

nah....

















...lol sorry, it's an old joke my uncle used to tell my girlfriends when I was in college...lol


Kinda like when he asked me (right in front of my date) ever read the weird serial numbers on a condom?

Me - "Uh, no"

Uncle - "Oh.....you must not have to roll them down far enough then.."





He was such a bastard. ;D
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24KT

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Re: How to be a Good Wife
« Reply #17 on: July 17, 2007, 02:21:31 PM »


God forgive me, ...but that was funny. (I think I'll borrow those)  ;)
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