"How to Prepare for a Puppy"

[~flower~]

"How to Prepare for a Puppy"

Pour cold apple juice on the carpet in several places and walk around
barefoot in the dark.

Wear a sock to work that has had the toes shredded by a blender.

Immediately upon waking, stand outside in the rain in the dark saying, "Be a
good puppy, go potty now - hurry up - come on, let's go!"

Cover all your best clothes with dog hair. Dark clothes must use white hair;
light clothes must use dark.

Float some hair in your first cup of coffee in the morning.

Also put some hair in everything that you cook!!! And in the pots and pans
in your cupboards!!

Run out in the snow/rain in your bare feet to close the gate.

Tip over a basket of clean laundry, scatter clothing all over the floor.

Leave your underwear on the living room floor because that's where the puppy will drag it anyway.....especially when company is coming.

Jump out of your chair shortly before the end of your favorite TV program and run to the door shouting "No, No! Do THAT OUTSIDE!" Miss the end of the program


Put chocolate pudding on the carpet in the morning; don't try to clean it up
until you get home from work in the evening.

Gouge the leg of the dining room table several times with a
screwdriver....it's going to get chewed on anyway.

Have a backhoe come in and dig random giant holes in your yard. Then go out
in the early am and step in a few. Try not to break anything.

Take a warm and cuddly blanket out of the dryer and immediately wrap it
around yourself.
This is the feeling you will get when your puppy falls asleep on your lap.

Author Unknown

[Butterbean]

 

[knny187]

I would also add to the list (some of my own):



1) Take the cup of water thats sitting on the coffe table & randomly knock it off to the floor.

2) If you have a cat....go up & knock it over...(he needs practise handling abuse)

3) Take a cup of warm water (randomly) & spill small amount all over the floor & your pant leg (especially when you put on a new fresh pair getting ready for work)

4) Knock over the trash can & shread paper towels all over the place like confetti.

5) Any window in the house...take a wet cloth & smear the windows so you can't see out.

6) While watching a t.v. program....take a hot blower dryer & point it at your pant leg.

7) Alos while watching a t.v. program....get up right during the good part & place a chair or big object in front of it so it obstructs your view.

8 ) Before you go to bed...place a bunch of sharp objects all throughout the house....so when you wake up in the middle of the night...you get used to stepping on bones, toys, & hard objects left out from the pup.



 

[~flower~]

3) Take a cup of warm water (randomly) & spill small amount all over the floor & your pant leg (especially when you put on a new fresh pair getting ready for work)

 are you saying you have been peed on by Diego?  lol!!

5-8 very true!!!     

[knny187]

you know what I mean by droooool

[~flower~]

you know what I mean by droooool

oh drool!!  I thought you meant warm water as to warm pee!!    

[knny187]

no..never had been pee'd on the leg....but he did use to pee on my shoes when he would first see me & get all excited when he was a puppy

[Butterbean]

I would also add to the list (some of my own):



1) Take the cup of water thats sitting on the coffe table & randomly knock it off to the floor.

2) If you have a cat....go up & knock it over...(he needs practise handling abuse)

3) Take a cup of warm water (randomly) & spill small amount all over the floor & your pant leg (especially when you put on a new fresh pair getting ready for work)

4) Knock over the trash can & shread paper towels all over the place like confetti.

5) Any window in the house...take a wet cloth & smear the windows so you can't see out.

6) While watching a t.v. program....take a hot blower dryer & point it at your pant leg.

7) Alos while watching a t.v. program....get up right during the good part & place a chair or big object in front of it so it obstructs your view.

8 ) Before you go to bed...place a bunch of sharp objects all throughout the house....so when you wake up in the middle of the night...you get used to stepping on bones, toys, & hard objects left out from the pup.



 

hehehe good additions knny


9)  wipe mud on the front of your white pants

10) have a friend lick their own butt and then lick your face

11) have someone stare at you constantly and get all up in your space when you are trying to fix something

12) have a friend bark at and attack the vacuum cleaner/lawn mower

[Princess L]

Bump for Migs 

[Migs]

Bump for Migs 

rofl all this bumpning is making me...nevermind   

lol

Yeah i will have to get used to having a puppy again.  I miss the puppy belly, and the puppy breath.

[CalvinH]

For cats,

if your on the computer just start hitting random buttons including delete for when your cat walks on the keyboard.

start checking your dryer to make sure nothing is sleeping in it.

start reading a book/magazine and weight it down and block the pages.

put something about 12lbs on your legs,between your legs,next to you,and then try to sleep without disturbing it.