Has pornography distorted relationship expectations of men and women?

[Playboy]

It's different, I'll say that.  I'm not sure I would wanna be walking around town with my child as a hooker and pimp collecting candy, lol.  But to each ... their own.

Mike is going to be Hugh Hefner   

I can just picture this bbdr walking down the street in a bathrobe Can you imagine the look on the neighbours faces? I'm lucky...i'm usually training between 6-7pm so I miss all the candy and stuff. Mind you in my area, all the kids grew up. Last year I think we got 3 kids to our house.

[24KT]

It's different, I'll say that.  I'm not sure I would wanna be walking around town with my child as a hooker and pimp collecting candy, lol.  But to each ... their own.

Mike is going to be Hugh Hefner   

In that case, you gotta have ripitupbaby & the Beast join you.
You can't break up the set ya know. 

[24KT]

What a woman!!!!! 

I think someone wants a little of this...

[drkaje]

I understand your POV and I agree with you!

I think porn objectifies women and strips them of their self worth while the erotic is more artistic in it's various expressions. I know its a thin line between the two and some would even say "what's the difference?" IMO pornography has an extremely negative connotation i.e. the objectification of women and in some cases men but IMO erotic expressions tend to aid in shaping and expressing our sexual identity without degrading the subject.


Yes I agree!

Pornography exploits men.

[24KT]

I understand your POV and I agree with you!

I think porn objectifies women and strips them of their self worth while the erotic is more artistic in it's various expressions. I know its a thin line between the two and some would even say "what's the difference?" IMO pornography has an extremely negative connotation i.e. the objectification of women and in some cases men but IMO erotic expressions tend to aid in shaping and expressing our sexual identity without degrading the subject.


Yes I agree!

I think it definitely strips the women who participate in it of their self-worth,
...but far worse, it causes men to develop an extremely distorted view of women and their value, as well as their own.
This in itself is harmful to women. The attitudes some people develop about their own sexuality as a result, is baffling to me.

ie: You'll hear guy talk about women they are repulsed by, and their desire to sodomize them in an act of aggression,
...yet they expect with a warped viewpoint like that, to be able to turn around and express love with the same instrument of punishment? Yet don't get the disconnect.

That's like saying "I hate those (insert country here) and I'm gonna drop a 10 tonne nuke on them and watch their landscape turn to glass", ...then saying "I love my country, ...I'm gonna make love to her with a 10 tonne nuke"

That doesn't compute for me. it's either an instrument for aggression, or the expression of love.

It's like when someone has a filthy mouth, and is asked "Do you kiss your mother or your baby with that mouth?"
It's the same with the sexuality... "Does one actually make love with that sexuality?"  Keep it the heck away from me.

[drkaje]

I think it definitely strips the women who participate in it of their self-worth,
...but far worse, it causes men to develop an extremely distorted view of women and their value, as well as their own.
This in itself is harmful to women. The attitudes some people develop about their own sexuality as a result, is baffling to me.

ie: You'll hear guy talk about women they are repulsed by, and their desire to sodomize them in an act of aggression,
...yet they expect with a warped viewpoint like that, to be able to turn around and express love with the same instrument of punishment? Yet don't get the disconnect.

That's like saying "I hate those (insert country here) and I'm gonna drop a 10 tonne nuke on them and watch their landscape turn to glass", ...then saying "I love my country, ...I'm gonna make love to her with a 10 tonne nuke"

That doesn't compute for me. it's either an instrument for aggression, or the expression of love.

It's like when someone has a filthy mouth, and is asked "Do you kiss your mother or your baby with that mouth?"
It's the same with the sexuality... "Does one actually make love with that sexuality?"  Keep it the heck away from me.

You really can't expect the majority of people to share your constricted views on the thin line between love and aggression.

Love for one, is aggression to another. Different women/men might perceive the same act in a million ways depending upon their background and how much emotional baggage they bring to the table. As long as both parties agree, I really can't judge.

Love is the law, after all.

[Lord Humungous]

I think someone wants a little of this...

daddy likes   

[trab]

I think that mature adults who are not offended by porn know they are watching video of professional sex workers and take it for what it is.

What one person finds stimulating, another finds repulsive and that varies widely. Partners ought to be somewhat on the same page sexually or the relation prolly wont work out. I enjoy watching fairly vigorous rough sex, so does my wife. But theres a lot out there today that is pushing the lines of what looks to be almost a paid rape of the girl.  This seems to be getting more prevalent, esp in the high visual quality stuff.

My wife is no prude, she'll bring me porn and send weird E-pics her twisted friends sent, but Ive been embarrassed by stuff Ive brought home on occasion that goes too far, outright ruin the mood for her and even shock me, and we've both seen some pretty wild stuff.

Dictating what is, and is not offensive for the most part offends me even more. Don't like, don't watch.

But why on earth some ambitious young girls will let a well know guy spit in her face, and otherwise degrade and brutalise her is beyond me. I don't want to support that.

But then, Everyone likes it different, just because something dont trip your trigger dont mean its not someone else's fav. 

 

[24KT]

You really can't expect the majority of people to share your constricted views on the thin line between love and aggression.

Nope, to each his own, ...but I do expect any man who intends to be with me to understand what turns me on,
and what turns me OFF, ...and not expect to bring what turns me OFF to the bedroom and be baffled why I'm not into it.

[drkaje]

Nope, to each his own, ...but I do expect any man who intends to be with me to understand what turns me on,
and what turns me OFF, ...and not expect to bring what turns me OFF to the bedroom and be baffled why I'm not into it.

How is that working out for you?

[trab]

Well, if someone is any good at reading another person, they'd quickly pick up if the other was uncomfortable and kill/ change the video and apologize. If they are too clueless or couldn't care less
about their bed mate, its time to get new.

Ive clicked off stuff I brought home (But we've watched much more to the end  )
If something seems like its pushing the boundries, I'll just give her a look. That all it'll take, not a word necessary.

Its a personal thing, If one is offended by porn they should let it be known early in a relationship.
ALL my past GF's were somewhat porn tolerant. I know for a fact many women enjoy and watch porn
on their own. You wouldn't believe some of the off the wall stuff her friends shoot over -
and they are mostly accountants and office professionals.

For all the talk about how sex-soaked the USA media etc is, I feel THe USA & N. American,  Judeao-Christian culture is up tight and has a lot of shame and guilt associated w/ sex and the human body. 

[24KT]

How is that working out for you?

It's a funny thing jake. When you refuse to accept anything less than the best, ...you often get it

[24KT]

For all the talk about how sex-soaked the USA media etc is, I feel THe USA & N. American,  Judeao-Christian culture is up tight and has a lot of shame and guilt associated w/ sex and the human body. 

BINGO!!!

And all that shame & guilt most frequently expresses itself in the most perverse & deviant of ways.

[trab]

BINGO!!!

And all that shame & guilt most frequently expresses itself in the most perverse & deviant of ways.

Yes, but  many  are too uptight to enjoy sex also.

I will say, its gotten to be a bit of a crap shoot picking porn these days,
 Oh well  I  make my own sumtimes, the Vid Cam is right there, but it just gets in the way after awhile.. 

I feel sory for all the uptight PPL. They are missing a important part of life. Thats fine if they keep it to themself. But telling others consenting adults what they find pleasurable is "Wrong" is what is really wrong.

[SamoanIrishman]

I have a two sided opinion...porn can be used as a tool to bring some "excitement" back into a relationship but...

For young people (boys in particular) that watch it get a false sense of what and how a woman acts, thinks, or likes in bed.

My PERSONAL belief is that besides every woman being portrayed as an sex crazed idiot, it desensitizes and demeans the act of lovemaking. Sure, everybody likes to get kinky once in a while but some of the things carried out in porn are just disrespectful. Spitting, peeing, pooping ect...

Couldn't even imagine doing that to someone I cared about. Hell, I couldn't do that to someone that I didn't care about and asked me to do it....even just for my own self respect.

I keep a high level of respect and dignity for myself and those I care about. That being said, I'm bias cause I've never slept with a girl I didn't care about, ie..1 night stand. Then I got married, and had kids. I couldn't imagine doing those things to my wife and the mother of my children. She earned my respect long ago as I did with her and would never take that for granted.

I hope that when my son comes of age (which is soon, he's 10) that he and I can talk about sex ...what it is, how it's done, and the responsibilities that come with it. Not like my Catholic, Scottish Father or super strict Jeh Witness Irish Mother of which for both the subject was taboo thus, I learned from friends and their stolen (usually from their father) porn...Only to learn later that most chicks don't beg for anal (of which I was deathly scared of ), 11inch cocks or moan in loud various ways by just touching their hair or leg.

I wish my parents where just honest with me. Either way a child will learn / want to see the opposite sex, it's natural...but to learn it from a man you respect (father) vs. some 13 virgin buddie with "3 hole debbie does the USA" is how boys should learn.

[Laura Lee]

Great post SamoanIrishman!

[Hedgehog]

It's all about bringing in sex and relation ed at a relatively early age, informing the kids that what they see in movies and on the internet is a warped reality.

Communication.

[SamoanIrishman]

Great post SamoanIrishman!

Damn my morals.


...damn my dad being right when he said the beating he gave me for screwing up would make me a better man down the road.


on the other hand, I can't be mad, I earned EVERY SINGLE ONE of those ass whoopings.

Or where you being sarcastic?...lol

[24KT]

I have a two sided opinion...porn can be used as a tool to bring some "excitement" back into a relationship but...

For young people (boys in particular) that watch it get a false sense of what and how a woman acts, thinks, or likes in bed.

My PERSONAL belief is that besides every woman being portrayed as an sex crazed idiot, it desensitizes and demeans the act of lovemaking. Sure, everybody likes to get kinky once in a while but some of the things carried out in porn are just disrespectful. Spitting, peeing, pooping ect...

Couldn't even imagine doing that to someone I cared about. Hell, I couldn't do that to someone that I didn't care about and asked me to do it....even just for my own self respect.

I keep a high level of respect and dignity for myself and those I care about. That being said, I'm bias cause I've never slept with a girl I didn't care about, ie..1 night stand. Then I got married, and had kids. I couldn't imagine doing those things to my wife and the mother of my children. She earned my respect long ago as I did with her and would never take that for granted.

I hope that when my son comes of age (which is soon, he's 10) that he and I can talk about sex ...what it is, how it's done, and the responsibilities that come with it. Not like my Catholic, Scottish Father or super strict Jeh Witness Irish Mother of which for both the subject was taboo thus, I learned from friends and their stolen (usually from their father) porn...Only to learn later that most chicks don't beg for anal (of which I was deathly scared of ), 11inch cocks or moan in loud various ways by just touching their hair or leg.

I wish my parents where just honest with me. Either way a child will learn / want to see the opposite sex, it's natural...but to learn it from a man you respect (father) vs. some 13 virgin buddie with "3 hole debbie does the USA" is how boys should learn.

BRAVO!!!
   

[drkaje]

It's a funny thing jake. When you refuse to accept anything less than the best, ...you often get it

Sweet!!

[Lord Humungous]

I pee and poop every day- Gawd im such a perv! I think I need help 

[Laura Lee]

I pee and poop every day- Gawd im such a perv! I think I need help 

Eh, or maybe just a diaper. 

[Lord Humungous]

Eh, or maybe just a diaper. 

Maybe AJ will lend the old man a Pamper?

[Laura Lee]

Maybe AJ will lend the old man a Pamper?

I'm not sure it will quite fit LH   

[RJW1966]

Saw my first playboy at aprox 10-11 and has totally distorted my perception of what the ideal woman should look like. Consequently, I seek out women based mostly on physical attraction and little else. I seem to find fault (physically) with even the most beautiful. Hence, I have dated some absolute wacos, but , man, were they beautiful.
On the porno, my current GF enjoy it together and we find it adds spice to our relationship once or twice a month.

never married, still single at 41....i wonder why?