Author Topic: Keith Jones (Read 17174 times)

New Hank Wood · « **Reply #125 on:** March 23, 2009, 07:25:26 PM »

A week later Keith took another dump in the ocean and caused a massive tidal wave (tsunami)

G o a t b o y · « **Reply #126 on:** March 23, 2009, 07:25:40 PM »

Quote from: kiwiol on March 23, 2009, 07:14:58 PM

Onlyme is so fat, he invented a meal between breakfast and brunch

He calls it "fourth meal". He's suing those bastards at Taco Bell for copyright infringement.

Captain Equipoise · « **Reply #127 on:** March 23, 2009, 07:26:22 PM »

Keith Jones is so fat when he rolls over in bed the earth's orbit changes.

lovemonkey · « **Reply #128 on:** March 23, 2009, 07:27:45 PM »

Onlyme is so fat that Jupiter's orbit destabilizes even more every time he eats another big mac.

G o a t b o y · « **Reply #129 on:** March 23, 2009, 07:30:53 PM »

Keith Jones is so fat he single-handedly caused the Ethiopian famine of the 1980's after deciding to get a "snack" while on a layover in Addis Ababa.

New Hank Wood · « **Reply #130 on:** March 23, 2009, 07:35:50 PM »

Keith is responsible for the deforestation of Asia's rainforests after he commissioned the building of a new chair

Veteran_Lifter · « **Reply #131 on:** March 23, 2009, 07:42:41 PM »

Keith is so fat he has caused a shortage of the letters f, a and t within the world wide web, this has become known as 'peak fat'.

Keith is soley responsible for 'peak fat', a situation that will nigh on kill the availability of the letters 'f, a and t' for internet forum users across the globe.

'Peak fat' will be hit sometime in 2012... ironically the same year that Keith will finally diet down to 600lbs, the obese bastard!

G o a t b o y · « **Reply #132 on:** March 23, 2009, 07:44:04 PM »

Keith Jones is so fat he won his legal battle with Paul Hupp, LLB by eating the judge, jury, and baliff after they got a little too close to his eating vortex during lunch break.

onlyme · « **Reply #133 on:** March 23, 2009, 07:47:15 PM »

Some of these got me laughing. Good job guys.

Veteran_Lifter · « **Reply #134 on:** March 23, 2009, 07:49:26 PM »

Quote from: onlyme on March 23, 2009, 07:47:15 PM

Some of these got me laughing. Good job guys.

Keith, did you or any of the guys ever use DMSO at all?

onlyme · « **Reply #135 on:** March 23, 2009, 07:52:54 PM »

Quote from: Veteran_Lifter on March 23, 2009, 07:49:26 PM

Keith, did you or any of the guys ever use DMSO at all?

I did for awhile on my arm after a competition

New Hank Wood · « **Reply #136 on:** March 23, 2009, 07:53:42 PM »

Yes laugh fatman laugh! Fat people are happy....right Keith?

Fact is, you are trapped in a suit of larded misery. Your obesity is a reflection of your inner torment and self loathing.

You eat to obscene excessiveness because it masks your pain and internal torment.

So laugh away fatman....if that is what helps you!

Veteran_Lifter · « **Reply #137 on:** March 23, 2009, 07:55:28 PM »

Quote from: onlyme on March 23, 2009, 07:52:54 PM

I did for awhile on my arm after a competition

Was it for inflammation/tendonitus?

Did you find it worked? and did the injury stay away after you stopped using the stuff?

Did a lot of guys use it?

You dont seem to see it used a lot these days, but it does seem to have a good rep amongst the older guys.

kiwiol · « **Reply #138 on:** March 23, 2009, 07:56:09 PM »

Quote from: onlyme on March 23, 2009, 07:47:15 PM

Some of these got me laughing. Good job guys.

Onlyme is so fat, he once looked at the solar system and said, "My anus is bigger than Uranus"

Veteran_Lifter · « **Reply #139 on:** March 23, 2009, 07:56:17 PM »

Quote from: New Hank Wood on March 23, 2009, 07:53:42 PM

Yes laugh fatman laugh! Fat people are happy....right Keith?

Fact is, you are trapped in a suit of larded misery. Your obesity is a reflection of your inner torment and self loathing.

You eat to obscene excessiveness because it masks your pain and internal torment.

So laugh away fatman....if that is what helps you!

calm down, Gloria, it aint that serious.

New Hank Wood · « **Reply #140 on:** March 23, 2009, 08:01:58 PM »

Keith, you are so fat that you laugh at fat jokes because that is the only way you can cope/ rationalise your state of morbid obesity!

Word of advice Keith, stop laughing at the fat jokes!

Stop living in denial.

Get off your lazy obese ass and do something to save your life.

Or is it the case Keith, that you have become so lost and confused that it is just easier to eat yourself into heart disease, fatty liver, diabetes etc etc etc etc.

onlyme · « **Reply #141 on:** March 23, 2009, 08:04:00 PM »

Quote from: Veteran_Lifter on March 23, 2009, 07:55:28 PM

Was it for inflammation/tendonitus?

Did you find it worked? and did the injury stay away after you stopped using the stuff?

Did a lot of guys use it?

You dont seem to see it used a lot these days, but it does seem to have a good rep amongst the older guys.

I had inflamation after a tournament. I only used it for a short while. I had a weird taste in your mouth. But it seemed to work pretty good. I heard some guys say it awesome and used it all the time.

Quote from: New Hank Wood on March 23, 2009, 08:01:58 PM

Keith, you are so fat that you laugh at fat jokes because that is the only way you can cope/ rationalise your state of morbid obesity!

Word of advice Keith, stop laughing at the fat jokes!

Stop living in denial.

Get off your lazy obese ass and do something to save your life.

Or is it the case Keith, that you have become so lost and confused that it just easier to eat yourself into heart disease, fatty liver, diabetes etc etc etc etc.

Okay thanks for the advice. Be sure you don't accidently call out my name while you are fucking your boyfriend. I see you are really into me today. Kind of creepy but we all know how you are.

Veteran_Lifter · « **Reply #142 on:** March 23, 2009, 08:05:52 PM »

Quote from: onlyme on March 23, 2009, 08:04:00 PM

I had inflamation after a tournament. I only used it for a short while. I had a weird taste in your mouth. But it seemed to work pretty good. I heard some guys say it awesome and used it all the time.

Ah, cheers for that.

Yeah, the taste is garlic from what I have read.

New Hank Wood · « **Reply #143 on:** March 23, 2009, 08:09:51 PM »

Deflecting attention away from your life threatening issues? Again.

This is becoming somewhat of a pattern for you Keith.

Again, you are a hideous obese monster who refuses to take responsibilty for your illness.

You brought this disease onto yourself Keith....and that is what makes it even more disgusting and vile!

Start looking for the answers yourself Keith. And stop blaming others for your pathetic decline into morbidity!

_bruce_ · « **Reply #144 on:** March 23, 2009, 09:43:39 PM »

Onlyme is so fat, that he uses the rain forest as a salad bar.

Onlyme is so fat, that his dietitian has to work with infinite numbers.

Onlyme is so fat, that the tattoo on his ass cheeks reads "Full Eclipse".

Onlyme is so fat, that when having turned around in bed it's time to vote a new president.

Onlyme is so fat, that he measures his body fat in light years.

Onlyme is so fat, that his weight can only be measured in sun masses per square inch.

Having said these bad things, I can only give props to Keith - he's a cool dude and gentle giant.
Good luck.

Camel Jockey · « **Reply #145 on:** March 23, 2009, 09:47:39 PM »

Keith Jones is so fat that when he skids he causes the tectonic plates to shift

benchthis · « **Reply #146 on:** March 23, 2009, 09:51:24 PM »

wow only me is on 6 pages of being owned

DeketheCreep · « **Reply #147 on:** March 23, 2009, 09:54:57 PM »

onlyme so fat that when he jump into the ocean, the whales start to sing "We are family"

HTexan · « **Reply #148 on:** March 23, 2009, 10:04:34 PM »

Quote from: DeketheCreep on March 23, 2009, 09:54:57 PM

onlyme so fat that when he jump into the ocean, the whales start to sing "We are family"
dammn, lol

Wiggs · « **Reply #149 on:** March 23, 2009, 10:08:45 PM »

Great thread