Opinions: is marriage worth it?

[DK II]

Point is that the closest friendships of any lasting value are always within the same gender. Your motivation to be friends with your wife was sexual/romantic, once those options are off the table, motivation to maintain said friendship diminishes.

I disagree, like i told you before it's stupid to base a relationship on sex and romance.

Anyone in a happy relationship will tell you this. Sex and romance are a part of it, but like kyomu said that's not where it ends, otherwise humans would be like animals, only meeting in a mating period.

[Deicide]

I disagree, like i told you before it's stupid to base a relationship on sex and romance.

Anyone in a happy relationship will tell you this. Sex and romance are a part of it, but like kyomu said that's not where it ends, otherwise humans would be like animals, only meeting in a mating period.

We like to delude ourselves to think we are further along than that but I honestly don't think we are...

[kyomu]

We like to delude ourselves to think we are further along than that but I honestly don't think we are...

But, if you say "Flower and Bee", sounds beautiful.

Its a point of view.

[DK II]

We like to delude ourselves to think we are further along than that but I honestly don't think we are...

I didn't mean to put mating periods down, actually i think human life would be easier this way.

But i like it the way it is, and i am happy in my marriage.

[Deicide]

I didn't mean to put mating periods down, actually i think human life would be easier this way.

But i like it the way it is, and i am happy in my marriage.

Ich wollte dir dein eigenes Glueck in deiner Ehe nie missgoennen. Der Thread sollte das Thema Ehe unabhaengig von deiner behandeln. Du bist ja ein Freund von mir, und meinen Freunden wuensche ich nur alles Glueck der Welt.

[lax]

Ich wollte dir dein eigenes Glueck in deiner Ehe nie missgoennen. Der Thread sollte das Thema Ehe unabhaengig von deiner behandeln. Du bist ja ein Freund von mir, und meinen Freunden wuensche ich nur alles Glueck der Welt.

marriage=cultivating the grounds of future sorrow, despair and loss

[kyomu]

marriage=cultivating the grounds of future sorrow, despair and loss

So everything desapear and loss.

[DK II]

Ich wollte dir dein eigenes Glueck in deiner Ehe nie missgoennen. Der Thread sollte das Thema Ehe unabhaengig von deiner behandeln. Du bist ja ein Freund von mir, und meinen Freunden wuensche ich nur alles Glueck der Welt.

Weiss ich doch! Ich will ja nur eine andere Seite aufzeigen. Die Ehe ist ja nicht nur negativ, auch wenn es viele Ehen gibt, die scheitern.

Another interesting thing is that (at least from my experience and my studies) marriage as "marriage between families" tend to work better than "marriage between 2 persons".

If the family reagrds the partner as a part of their familiy, and the partners familiy as part of their family, a marriage gives everyone in this big family a big plus.
When it's between two people that do not like the partner's family, it's extremly difficult.

So everything desapear and loss.

Yes, that's life. It's an illusion to think that there's a thing in life to which this pattern doesn't extend.

[lax]

I had money
I had friends
I gave my money to my friends
now
I have no money or friends

Fellows

Just supplant 'wife'
in that little ditty wherever you deem appropriate 

[UPINTHEMGUTS]

Good tits
Good ass
No kids

Got it.
Thanks.

I forgot to mention DD cups, bro....

[Hereford]

So what happens if the woman you married turns into a completely different person?

[The Showstoppa]

But don't many people change over time?

Isn't it more normal (than not) for couples to grow in different directions?

Very true.  I think that's where communication, as Andy said, comes in.  You can grow in the same direction (Man, I sound like Dr. Phil) or you can grow apart. 

I will say though, that most peoples core values are instilled fairly early and for most, don't change that much over time.  I think people should wait until later in life to get married.  Be who you are before you do it, if that makes any sense.

[dov]

No

[barrettaswine]

Guys, I've been with my wife since 1977. Seriously!! Our first date was to see the movie Rocky. I'll be fifty in july and together we have raised a son, bought a home etc..   When some of you dudes grow up(maybe) you will understand that it ain't all about getting ass. Look at arnold and maria, long term marriage, kids etc. He knows.....

[Tre]

Very true.  I think that's where communication, as Andy said, comes in.  You can grow in the same direction (Man, I sound like Dr. Phil) or you can grow apart. 

I will say though, that most peoples core values are instilled fairly early and for most, don't change that much over time.  I think people should wait until later in life to get married.  Be who you are before you do it, if that makes any sense.

Makes perfect sense.  I love my daughter, god is she such a wonderful blessing. 

But despite both of us being 30 when we hooked up, her mother and I just weren't meant to be together.  Our core values are very different and we've become increasingly polarized during the 8+ years we've known one another.  It'll be interesting to see where we're at when the kid finishes high school.

In addition to the different values, we also speak a completely different language and she doesn't listen very well.  I'm a patient person by nature, but hate repeating myself, because when you have to do it constantly, it means the other person doesn't respect you enough to listen the first time.

 

[Tapeworm]

A series of short lived shallow relationships is ideal.  No one will have to discover who you really are.

[chainsaw]

When I first married my wife, we had just started a business.
We were almost not able to pay our employee's one week, and she was
panicing.  She said "what are we going to do to pay them" I said "dont worry, I have that covered."
she aske how, and I said "well, I'm going to sell you're car if I have to."  She said O.K. and I never had
to do it, but she was ready and willing to do what had to be done.  Thats a woman you want to marry.
Been 10yrs..

[Thin Lizzy]

Guys, I've been with my wife since 1977. Seriously!! Our first date was to see the movie Rocky. I'll be fifty in july and together we have raised a son, bought a home etc..   When some of you dudes grow up(maybe) you will understand that it ain't all about getting ass. Look at arnold and maria, long term marriage, kids etc. He knows.....

Gotta love guys who tell people to grow up then produce a simplistic, subjective argument: my marriage worked; therefore, marriage is good.

There have also been marriages that have ended in murder, kidnapping, and suicide, not to mention, financial ruin.

It's great that your marriage worked out, but, under current conditions there's no denying it's a very risky "proposition."

[The Wizard of Truth]

I have a girl who would be good marriage material but im plagued by the thoughts of never getting to fuck or go out with anyone else for the rest of my life,im confused so therefore will not marry ever until I am sure(or as sure I can be) that it'll work

[Monster_Everything]

[Hereford]

No matter how good your relationship in the bedroom is, when you get married it will completely die within 2 years.

[MCWAY]

Marriage is a lifelong commitment that involves hard work, communication, patience, and sacrifice.  If you are not man enough, or if she is not woman enough, to handle that truth, then no, marriage is not worth it.  However, there is no more rewarding relationship than the one between a man and his wife when they know what they are getting into and are willing to take the good and the bad.  I have spoken.

Four words that scare the dickens out of Deicide!

Guys, I've been with my wife since 1977. Seriously!! Our first date was to see the movie Rocky. I'll be fifty in july and together we have raised a son, bought a home etc..   When some of you dudes grow up(maybe) you will understand that it ain't all about getting ass......

....nor is it about paranoia about women taking from them money that half of them probably don't have, anyway.

[Quickerblade]

[MCWAY]

Gotta love guys who tell people to grow up then produce a simplistic, subjective argument: my marriage worked; therefore, marriage is good.

There have also been marriages that have ended in murder, kidnapping, and suicide, not to mention, financial ruin.

It's great that your marriage worked out, but, under current conditions there's no denying it's a very risky "proposition."

That's why you minimize those risks by choosing the women you date carefully. Learn about their character, their morals, their values. Get to know their families.

And, if you do consider marriage, get some marriage counseling beforehand.

[BIG DUB]

Another interesting thing is that (at least from my experience and my studies) marriage as "marriage between families" tend to work better than "marriage between 2 persons".

If the family reagrds the partner as a part of their familiy, and the partners familiy as part of their family, a marriage gives everyone in this big family a big plus.
    

That is one of the biggest pieces of BULLSHIT I've ever read...