how many of you are about 30 and have no kids

[MORTALCOIL]

well what mortalcoil is saying here, which is absolutely true, is that obviously, the woman ALSO has to be as smart as the man. Takes two to make one.

But here we re facing another question: how to select the correct partner?  Especially when men are conditionned to  just looking at the physical traits and dont see the importance of psychological traits in women -which are fundamental to keep a stable, healthy and improving couple relationship, but also to raise children in a healthy environment.

Nowadays, one of the biggest problems, specially in big cities, is that people (men and women) have become incredibly cunning. A lot of people when single will give a certain image of themselves which is built to attract. Once in a relationship, things change but never asmuch as when you become parents. That's where you understand if you're dealin' with a spoiled brat who thinks life should be a fairy tale and will blame you for every single obstacle you'll find in life or a woman who knows that nothing is granted, that most things go wrong by nature, that you have to fight though you will never ever be problem-free and that patience is the key.

[James28]

Nothing wrong with a threesome as long there aren't annoing kids who spoil the fun 

[Natural Man]

For most women it is 'Please let him have money, I can work on dominating him, suppressing his personality and change him completely later on. Just let him have money'

Men have to change women.
Women have to change men.
Everything in life is about alterating each other's minds. That's how it works. And it's great if everything is transparent, crystal clear and if both know and agree on some common, mutual objectives they both follow.
But none have to dominate the other. Balance has to be found, not domination. Domination, doubts and lack of communication, are the seeds of all later psychological implosions.
It's about complementing each other's strenghts, and IMPROVING each other's weaknesses over time.
It's about learning who both your parents were and are and what you got from em, and how it impacts on both your own existences. How to improve the good, and how to resorb the bad.

It requires that at least one of the two indivuals has high communication, self introspection skills. This is all what is needed. The other one will learn from  him/her.

[newmom]

We're trying for kids next year when we're married. Looking around me I see little feral fucking idiot kids raised by parents that should have been sterilised after their first primary school test paper result. My wife-to-be's brother has a 5 year old I want to throw against the wall and stomp on until the blood is drained into the carpet and bones a pulpy grey mess. Then again, a friend of ours have two kids (6 and 3) I'd adopt right now and raise them as my own. The kids are a reflection of their parents, and parents these days are mostly fucking morons. I hope I do a better job  

Edit, I'm 29 turning 30 this year.

Kids are a reflection of their parents..Hell just the example of overweight kids. When you see these young 5 and 6 year olds, they are obese already, then you look at their parents and they too are obese. Probably the main reason I had to loose 150 pounds. Have to set the example for my little one.
I have volunteered in my daughters room at her school and I have to say, the way some of these kids act is UNREAL. One girl bit a teacher then called her fat. I whispered in my daughters ear, "If you ever act like that or say something like that, you will deal with me on a level you never have before".

[Natural Man]

Nowadays, one of the biggest problems, specially in big cities, is that people (men and women) have become incredibly cunning. A lot of people when single will give a certain image of themselves which is built to attract. Once in a relationship, things change but never asmuch as when you become parents. That's where you understand if you're dealin' with a spoiled brat who thinks life should be a fairy tale and will blame you for every single obstacle you'll find in life or a woman who knows that nothing is granted, that most things go wrong by nature, that you have to fight though you will never ever be problem-free and that patience is the key.

Then you have to teach her how things really work. Takes skills...takes patience...If you're convinced she's worth it and has something to offer in return of course. Anyone who has kids with a woman after he only spent 1 or 3 years living with her is a moron. I'd say between 5 to 10 years spent living 24/7  with your partner is the minimum before considering having kids with him/her. Takes lot of time to know yourself, and as much if not more to know someone else. You also understand who you are living with others, and you help them know who they are themselves. If your parents know -and accept, tell you- who they are it greatly accelerates your own understanding of who you are and what you want. A decisive advantage in society, for your own survival.

[CalvinH]

I don't wanna share no boobies!



 

[The True Adonis]

Kids are a reflection of their parents..Hell just the example of overweight kids. When you see these young 5 and 6 year olds, they are obese already, then you look at their parents and they too are obese. Probably the main reason I had to loose 150 pounds. Have to set the example for my little one.
I have volunteered in my daughters room at her school and I have to say, the way some of these kids act is UNREAL. One girl bit a teacher then called her fat. I whispered in my daughters ear, "If you ever act like that or say something like that, you will deal with me on a level you never have before".

Your parents didn`t forcefeed you to 150 lbs overweight. You single handedly put hoove to mouth under your own volition.  You could have had the wherewithal to educate yourself before the problem sustained itself or even got out of hand.  Blame yourself for not knowing what a caloric deficit is.

Hopefully you are educating your children by not demonizing foods but instead focusing on overall caloric amounts.

[Mars]

the idea of getting kids now or about a few years makes me gasping for air.

[The True Adonis]

Children are the physical, biological, and psychological sum of what their parents were and are.  This can be either MODIFIED or REINFORCED by education.
Parents who keep  improving themselves on a daily basis will teach their kids to improve themselves on a daily basis.
Know yourself and your kids will know who they are.

You are somewhat incorrect here.  You start out correct when you state that Children are "biologically" (I would rather use genetically since Biologically is not really apt in this case, but I understand what you meant to convey) where you made a wrong turn is assuming that the Phenotype determines the Genotype (Parents who keep improving themselves will teach offspring to improve as well.  There is no causal relationship whatsoever here to demonstrate correlation.

Furthermore Stephen Pinker, author of The Blank Slate, states "Children are NOT shaped by their parents OVER THE LONG RUN, but only in part by their genes, their culture, the culture of their country at large, their children`s own culture (mainly their peer group) and to a larger extent by chance. Chance events of the wiring of the brain In utero, chance events as one lives their life."

This should be intriguing and worth watching.

[RancherRanger]

29 and no kids.  We have the money to afford a child, but it hasn't happened yet.

[che]

the idea of getting kids now or about a few years makes me gasping for air.

Add Mars to my list .

[kiwiol]

Add Mars to my list .

Mars is our father and we are all his children.

[che]

Mars is our father and we are all his children.

Amen

[K-1]

32/no kids.

 

[UPINTHEMGUTS]

36, married for 3 years, and no kids yet. Wife is 32.

Right now, in a shitty economy, and barely staying afloat, is enough to decide against having a kid.


When the time is right, i can see myself being a 40 year old dad.

My dad become a father a second time at 52, so fuck it.

[Wiggs]

30 and no kids.

[The True Adonis]

With all honesty. The only time I've ever seen a happy relationship with kids involed if by the super rich. The reason being is that they are rich and don't take care of they're children one bit. Nanny's and servants do it. Of course I've heard the new Dad story always so happy going on about how amazing it feels and it changes they're life for the better. Then two years pass and they say the same shite as everyone else. They wish they never did it and are going through a divorce. All the mentors in my life constantly tell me to avoid marriage and children. My Brother is 40 years old and he's still on my Dad's payroll. Once you have a child you never get rid of them. And about the kid taking care of you when your old? Thats BS. They just stick you in a home. Just like where my Grandparents are. Chef Tim votes no to children.

I second the motion! Hear! Hear!

[K-1]

With all honesty. The only time I've ever seen a happy relationship with kids involed if by the super rich. The reason being is that they are rich and don't take care of they're children one bit. Nanny's and servants do it. Of course I've heard the new Dad story always so happy going on about how amazing it feels and it changes they're life for the better. Then two years pass and they say the same shite as everyone else. They wish they never did it and are going through a divorce. All the mentors in my life constantly tell me to avoid marriage and children. My Brother is 40 years old and he's still on my Dad's payroll. Once you have a child you never get rid of them. And about the kid taking care of you when your old? Thats BS. They just stick you in a home. Just like where my Grandparents are. Chef Tim votes no to children.

lmao x2 ..I love that one also.

[dov]

For the life of me I have yet to understand why anyone would choose to have chilfren.

[dov]

Oh yeah, 34 no kids.

[regmac]

That'd be me     I can afford mew  and kids.   I'm pretty much a kid myself. 

[SilverSpoon]

I don't wanna come across as a jerk to any Dads out there. But this is just my own personnal experience. A friend of mine has two daughters. 15 & 16. They're both HS drop outs, doing drugs, and dating dirtbags that are like 25 years old. He cannot get out of it. My Brother and his wife were the most in love couple I've ever seen. Truly meant for each other. Then they had two kids and they don't even sleep in the same room anymore. Stress got to them. Hey I would really like to have a little Chef Tim. Only if I had serious cash so the education was set, nannies were set, and stress wouldn't be such a tremendous factor. I'm just your average schmuck. I can't afford all that. My Dad had three kids. I never saw the guy until he was 55 and retired. Because he was working all the time trying to pay the bills! This is what reality is.

How did your Dad retire at 55?

[polychronopolous]

I want the fairy tale marriage.

[kankles]

No kids doesn't mean a bad thing. If you aren't in the right state of mind to raise one, have minimal coin, just pull out.

[CalvinH]

I want the fairy tale marriage.

You wanna marry xerces