One Night Stand that is. We had a funny discussion about that at work today and some of the stories that came out was quite amusing. With London being drowned in drugs and booze every weekend, weird things tend to happen. It stirred my memory banks on something that happened years ago.
This girl I 'pulled' in King's Cross, London. Read the story and you will see why I use 'pull' in inverted commas.
It was in my early 20's when I still drank and I happened to be slightly worse for wear one Friday night. It neared 1am and club kick-out time and when it came to the ladies, the night seemed like a bust. I resigned myself to one more vodka. Was just about to finish my drink and head home when this girl appeared next to me and sat down. She leaned over and said 'If you buy me a glass of red wine you can take me home and fuck me'. I don't know why I remember that line. Perhaps because it was so random. Another thing I remember is looking down at her feet and noticing that she was barefoot. Asked where her shoes was and she just shrugged. I bought her the glass of red wine, got up and went for a piss. Came out, found my mate and we walked outside to catch a taxi. By now I've completely forgotten about Red Wine Girl.
Stood around outside chatting to my mate, bemoaning the lack of suitable girls in the club that night when someone jumped on my back. I was sober instantly. My pal started laughing and pointing. It was Red Wine Girl. She was like 'Don't you wanna get fucked tonight? You just left me in there!'. She said it so loud that everyone around us heard and started laughing and cheering. Luckily we got a cab that instant and me and my pal jumped in, uninvited, she also jumped in. Now I had the opportunity to look at her properly. A solid ... 3/10. I rate Oprah Winfrey 4/10. So in short, she was a mess. She had lipstick smeared all around her face and her short spikey hair made her seem very lesbo. Think, The Joker from Batman but as female. About the only thing counting her in favour was the fact that she was quit skinny and seemed to have very athletic legs. So at least she wasn't an ugly fat slob. Just ugly.
I ignored her and started chatting to my mate when she told the taxi driver to stop at the next all night shop we drive pass as she wants to buy condoms. Hello, who for?
Anyway, my mate, always the gentleman, started chatting to her whilst I just mentally urged the cabbie to drive faster. Fast forward 20min, my mate is dropped off first, he mouths 'good luck' to me and dissapear through his front door. Only then I spoke to her. Asked her where she wanted to be dropped off. She said; 'your bed'. Told her I was gay (I actually did tell her that) and it wouldn't happen.
She then claimed she couldn't remember where she lived as she was too drunk. I know this was bullshit, but didn't care either way. Gave the cabbie my address and he dropped me off. I paid him, bid Red Wine Girl a good night and walked to my front door. She came flying out the cab, and the fucker just drove off. Probably sick of our drunk asses in his car. They tend to do that.
Now I was left with a crazy girl, but still a girl, on her own, 2am in a neighbourhood with very little transport links back to the city. She just stood in the pathway looking at me. I think she was quite sober by now and realised her predicament. With a sigh I invited her in and offered my bed. She said to me that seeing I'm gay, it wouldn't make a difference if I slept in the bed with her or not. Clever girl.
As I didn't really fancy the sofa, I agreed. I went for a shower, came back into the room and she was in bed, sleeping. I got in bed, turned out the light and she was on me in a flash. Thought the little fucker was asleep. I nailed her about 5 times that night. She was unreal in bed. It was only 10am she finally climbed off me and fell asleep. I fell asleep as well and woke up 8pm that night. She was gone. Just like that.
I still wonder what happened to her shoes.
Unusual night indeed.
