Today I got home and thought, "I've had it! I can't go through another crappy workout!" The thought of doing arms and shoulders tomorrow, getting no pump, lifting no weight, and going home dejected again only to cram my face full of chicken and rice, hoping "better luck next time!" made me sick.
I've been "bodybuilding" for seven, almost eight years now and only just recently started reading getbig. Before this, I had no idea how prevalent steroid use was outside of professional and amateur competition, or that mutant physiques could be achieved in just a few months with the right drugs and a solid foundation! Anyway that's somewhat beside the point.
The point is, bodybuilding just isn't rewarding for me anymore, and hasn't been for a long time, now that I think about it. I've always had an obsessive drive in the gym, and this got me hurt many, many times. I rarely did research on training technique unless I had an injury and couldn't progress. And even then, I would rather push through and eek out one more rep just to beat the logbook than pay attention to my body's warning signals. Eventually I learned that I had to listen to my instincts in the gym, but I'm afraid it's too late. These days, every time I set foot in the gym I feel like I'm walking on pins and needles -- one false move and my lower back is out for a week. Additionally my muscles feel dead and unresponsive probably ninety percent of the time, which is by far the most frustrating feeling.
I don't mean to ramble, so I'll wrap this up. Tonight, I decided to lose it all. All my fat, and maybe even all my muscle (we'll see). Especially I want to lose this massive, distended gut (my waistline is over 42 inches now from massive overeating -- 5500 clean calories a day). Another factor contributing to my decision is my genetic predisposition for hypertension. I've spent the last several years of my life probably above 150 / 80-90, and that has to change sooner or later.
After reading wavelengths dieting strategy, I've decided to make a diet plan tonight, and for once take things in the opposite direction. I'll do my best in the gym, three times a week, but honestly at this point I don't even care if I lose lots of muscle. After thinking about my workouts and analyzing everything day and night in hopes of further progress, I've come to the conclusion that the best thing for me right now is to simply lay off and hope my body can repair itself. If that happens, maybe I'll come back some day, and use all that I've learned to do things right.
Anyway, enough dreariness! 
I want to go from this:
(~257 lbs)
back to this:
(~185 lbs -- I had no legs 
)
and beyond!
Sorry to read that you are so discouraged with weight training right now. However, I understand how one can feel this way from time to time. I've vacillated about my commitment to bodybuilding a lot over the last fifty years. Sometimes I am very into working out and sometimes not so much. However, I do not now nor have I ever considered completing in competitions. My goals have always been about being fit and healthy looking and feeling. At the grand old age of sixty-six, I am successful in these modest goals despite occasional gym layoffs over the years.
Although I am retired now and for the first time in my life, should have more uncommitted time to devote to hitting the gym, I took a couple of months off this fall to work the election on behalf of my union. It was hard not going to the gym. I felt really guilty about this but I also felt my political involvement was mentally rewarding." Variety is the spice of life" or so it is said.
Another motto which can be a positive way to view one's approach to living is to do everything in moderation. Unless one has a burning desire to become like today's massive bodybuilders, their approach to bodybuilding should be for the sake of good health, looking fit and feeling good about yourself. My guess is the fellows wining Mr. Olympia or many other of the various competitions today are anything but healthy. And aside from looking like a superhero freak in a thong and often times lousy in clothes even when in contest shape, these fellows are not good role models for good health and fitness. There is nothing healthy about being 5'8" and 300 lbs off-season. Overweight is overweight be it muscle or fat....it will eventually kill you.
So good for you to reassess your purpose/goals in weight training. Strive to be as healthy as possible. Set reasonable goals for your body type and train to those goals. If you start feeling like you are getting crazy and obsessive about weight training again, step back and rethink what you really want from this. Do all things in moderation and you will be happy and fit too.
