Author Topic: Tell your funniest Joke Thread... (Read 8237 times)

The Ugly · « **Reply #25 on:** June 05, 2012, 09:55:47 AM »

Guy: You wanna have sex?
Girl: No way!
Guy: Why not?
Girl: Because you're a pedophile.
Guy: Pedophile? Wow, that's a pretty big word for a 10-year-old.

B_B_C · « **Reply #26 on:** June 05, 2012, 10:56:57 AM »

Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not Happy.

Nirvana · « **Reply #27 on:** June 05, 2012, 01:30:47 PM »

Orange roughy: what you take after eating a big bag of cheese doodles.

El Diablo Blanco · « **Reply #28 on:** June 05, 2012, 01:35:37 PM »

So, there's a flood in this town, and there's a priest standing waist deep in water. A boat comes by, offers to pick up the priest, but he refuses, saying that God will save him.

A few minutes later, the priest is shoulder deep in the water, and another boat comes by, offering to pick him up. Again, he refuses, saying that God will save him.

Finally, he is chin high in water, another boat comes by URGING him to get in, but yet again he refuses. A few minutes later, the priest drowns.
When he gets to heaven, he goes up to God, asking him why he didn't save his life.

God responds, "Mutherfucker, what are you talking about, I sent you three boats!!"

Army of One · « **Reply #29 on:** June 05, 2012, 04:10:56 PM »

a jewish guy and a priest are sitting in a park, they see a 12 yr old boy walk by, The priest says to the Jew " I bet he was hot before he got old"

Army of One · « **Reply #30 on:** June 05, 2012, 04:12:11 PM »

What is wrong with FatAlice, Derek Anthony, Pillowtalk and FatPanda going over a cliff in a car?

The car seats 5

A Professional · « **Reply #31 on:** June 05, 2012, 04:46:11 PM »

Why do black people have big lips?

Because the doctor has to put his foot on the back of their heads to pull their tails of when they're born

dynamike · « **Reply #32 on:** June 05, 2012, 04:52:02 PM »

Twaddle · « **Reply #33 on:** June 05, 2012, 05:06:29 PM »

A man says to his wife, "Honey, you three choices today. 1. You can go hunting with me today, 2. You can take it in the ass, or 3. You can give me a blowjob." The wife says, "Well, it's pretty damn cold outside, so I really don't want to go hunting. I've never had it in the ass before, and don't want to start now. So, I guess i'll give you that blowjob."

So the wife is giving him his blowjob, when she suddenly stops and says, "I can't fucking do this, your dick taste like shit!" The husband looks at her and says, "Yeah, well, the dog didn't want to go hunting either!"

Ziiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii iiing!

bighead · « **Reply #34 on:** June 05, 2012, 05:10:25 PM »

2 jewish men are heading home from synagogue on sat, they always pass by a catholic church on the way, but this time there is a sign outside that reads, become a catholic and get paid 100$. interested one of the jewish men says he is going to see what this is all about and goes inside while the other one heads home for dinner but a week goes by and he has yet to hear from his friend, when he finally sees him he asks, so did you become a catholic? he says yes!!, did you get the 100$?.... why is it always about the money with YOU people?

Army of One · « **Reply #35 on:** June 05, 2012, 05:10:44 PM »

Quote from: Twaddle on June 05, 2012, 05:06:29 PM

A man says to his wife, "Honey, you three choices today. 1. You can go hunting with me today, 2. You can take it in the ass, or 3. You can give me a blowjob." The wife says, "Well, it's pretty damn cold outside, so I really don't want to go hunting. I've never had it in the ass before, and don't want to start now. So, I guess i'll give you that blowjob."

So the wife is giving him his blowjob, when she suddenly stops and says, "I can't fucking do this, your dick taste like shit!" The husband looks at her and says, "Yeah, well, the dog didn't want to go hunting either!"

Ziiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii iiing!

I thought SMM didnt have a wife?

Hulkotron · « **Reply #36 on:** June 05, 2012, 05:20:57 PM »

Quote from: Twaddle on June 05, 2012, 05:06:29 PM

A man says to his wife, "Honey, you three choices today. 1. You can go hunting with me today, 2. You can take it in the ass, or 3. You can give me a blowjob." The wife says, "Well, it's pretty damn cold outside, so I really don't want to go hunting. I've never had it in the ass before, and don't want to start now. So, I guess i'll give you that blowjob."

So the wife is giving him his blowjob, when she suddenly stops and says, "I can't fucking do this, your dick taste like shit!" The husband looks at her and says, "Yeah, well, the dog didn't want to go hunting either!"

Ziiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii iiing!

lol

A Professional · « **Reply #37 on:** June 05, 2012, 05:23:50 PM »

All class

The Ugly · « **Reply #38 on:** June 05, 2012, 05:28:00 PM »

Dude rushes into the emergency room in a panic, looking for his wife. A doctor stops him in the hall. "Listen, sir," he says, "your wife's been in a horrible accident."

"Is she gonna be all right?" the man says.

"I'm afraid not," the doctor says, "it was a horrible accident. She's paralyzed, probably a vegetable. From here on out, you'll have to feed her, and bathe her ... you'll have to change her diaper. I won't kid you, it's going to be difficult."

The doctor watches as the man starts to sob. "Ok, ok, come on," doc says. "I'm just kidding. She's dead."

mantronik · « **Reply #39 on:** June 05, 2012, 05:53:10 PM »

I made a whole thread of jokes but it's not well visited, so I stopped $:-\$
http://www.getbig.com/boards/index.php?topic=370053.0

A Professional · « **Reply #40 on:** June 05, 2012, 06:17:24 PM »

Quote from: mantronik on June 05, 2012, 05:53:10 PM

I made a whole thread of jokes but it's not well visited, so I stopped $:-\$
http://www.getbig.com/boards/index.php?topic=370053.0

Fuck off fag.

What's red black and white and can't fit through a revolving door?

A nun with a spear through her head

mantronik · « **Reply #41 on:** June 05, 2012, 06:19:17 PM »

What do you call a fag with a ninja avatar?

A Profagsional

A Professional · « **Reply #42 on:** June 05, 2012, 06:21:31 PM »

Quote from: mantronik on June 05, 2012, 06:19:17 PM

What do you call a fag with a ninja avatar?

A Profagsional

Getbig's very own Don Rickles right here

mantronik · « **Reply #43 on:** June 05, 2012, 06:27:16 PM »

You mad brah?

tommywishbone · « **Reply #44 on:** June 05, 2012, 06:36:00 PM »

A Black guy, a Mexican guy and a Puerto Rican guy walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Get the fuck out!"

gatorr · « **Reply #45 on:** June 05, 2012, 06:37:39 PM »

Two guys walking on the beach find a lantren. First guy rubs it and out pops a genie. "What is your wish? asks the genie. First guy says"I want a hundred beutiful naked women" Poof on the beach is 100 women. Second guy whispers in the genies ear and over the horizon come 10 guys on horse back wearing white hoods, they grab the 2 guys and ride over to the nearest tree put nooses around their necks. The first guy says" What the fuck did you wish for"? Second guy says "well you wished for 100 naked women so i wished for us to be hung like blacks".

tommywishbone · « **Reply #46 on:** June 05, 2012, 06:38:39 PM »

Gator, you left out 1 word.

ChopperRider · « **Reply #47 on:** June 05, 2012, 06:54:48 PM »

How does a little black girl know when her mother is on the rag?

Her brother's dick tastes funny.

hrspwr · « **Reply #48 on:** June 05, 2012, 06:56:35 PM »

An Indian walks into the whorehouse and says "me have money, me want woman!" The madam asks the indian if he has any experience he says " me no have experience."
The madam tells the chief to go into the woods and find an old log with a knothole in it, practice, and that he can come back when he has experience.
A few days go by and the indian shows back up at the whorehouse, he says "me have money, me want woman" the madam says "ok chief, you have some experience right?" The indian grins and says "me have lots experience"
She points to the stairs and says "head on up chief, 1st door on the left"
The indian eagerly heads up the stairs and enters the room where he finds a woman waiting for him, she takes off her robe, crawls onto the bed and gets into position with her ass high in the air. She nods to the indian, and says " you have some experience right ?" The indian says " me know what to do" with that the indian starts smacking her ass as hard as he can, the lady freaks out and screams "what the hell are you doing?"

The indian calmly replies " first checkum for bees."

gatorr · « **Reply #49 on:** June 05, 2012, 07:22:59 PM »

I didnt leave out the important word someone edited.