I abhor animal cruelty, I would never abuse a woman, stand up too one Yes. But never abuse.
Rehabilitated? Well, now, let me see. You know, I don’t have any idea what that means. I know what you think it means, sonny. To me, it’s just a made-up word, a politician’s word, so that young fellas like yourself can wear a suit and a tie and have a job. What do you really wanna know? Am I sorry for what I did? There’s not a day goes by I don’t feel regret. In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max’s toupee and I glued it on my face when I played Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog. When my Mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch, I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out. But the worst thing I ever done, I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa. And then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started gettin’ sick and throwin’ up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life. I look back on the way I was then, a young, stupid kid who committed that terrible crime. I wanna talk to him. I wanna try to talk some sense to him, tell him the way things are, but I can’t. That kid’s long gone and this old man is all that’s left. I gotta live with that. Rehabilitated? It’s just a bullshit word. So, you go on and stamp your form, sonny, and stop wasting my time, because to tell you the truth, I don’t give a shit.
