Since you are ugly with a small dick here is what you do, go to a male bathroom make a hole in the bathroom stall and write the words glory hole with a marker, sit there and wait patiently and when you see a dick come through the hole you suck it.
"Dude, my wife let some other dude fuck her in the ass, but she wont let me. What gives bro?"
I've had anal once...with my first long term GF... she said "never again". My wife took it up there once in college and says there' no way in hell she'll let me go there.Frankly...it bothers me that a little that some guy nailed that ass and I haven't.
having a fit physique helps a bit but when the looks are bad just make sure you have a big mouth