THE STUFF (1985)
- starts of with some old fella walking through the the grounds of the industrial company he works for, where he happens to notice some white goo oozing through the snow covered ground. curious, he stops to investigate by sticking his fingers in said 'goo', and proceeds to eat it (like you would). it taste great, so he calls over a passing collegue to try some of this great tasting goo of unknown origin that's bubbling up from the earth. yes, you guessed it, he then inexplicably eats the goo from his mates fingers after about two seconds of coaxing. he point blank refused to eat snow would had no qualms about eating strange, bubbling shit off the floor.
fast forward some weeks/months, and 'the goo' is now 'the stuff' and is the latest must have, must eat, craze. not everyone is convinced though. one young chap, after see 'the stuff' moving about in his fridge, not to mention his whole family total absession with it, refuses to partake and runs off to the local supermarket to smash up as much of 'the stuff' as he can. he later becomes part of the team that goes on to foil the wicked plans 'the stuff' has to take over the world.
enter our unwitting hero, david 'mo' rutherford (michael moriarty the star of TROLL), brought in by rival ice cream companies to find out and steal the secret recipe of 'the stuff'. little do they know...haha! i mean, this fella is so fucking cool that he sweet talks the knickers down off the milf who is in running the advertising campaign for 'the stuff' and she then becomes his ally. then later on, he gets into a fist fight with 'chocolate chip charlie'. who after kicking choc chips arse, they too become allies in exposing the secret of 'the stuff'.
just when you think shit couldn't get anymore crazy. up pops the great paul sorvino (colonel malcolm grommett spears) the leader of a group of anti communist militia, just in time to assist our heroes an all out assault against 'the stuff' and 'the stuffies'. the end.. phew!!ZOMBIE DEATH HOUSE (1987)
- jonh saxon's (A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET, TENEBRE, ENTER THE DRAGON) directorial debut. infact, it would be his first and last time directing which will be come as no surprise after watching this effort . anyroad, despite the title. please don't expect to see any zombies in this here filum. there's no zombies as such. what we get is a hilarious bad story about a vietnam vet who ends up working for a mob boss as his driver who ends up fucking the mob boss' wife on the side. the mob boss has his suspicions and ends up killing his wife and frame his driver for the murder, for which he is sentenced to death for.
in prison there's some sort of voluntary behavioural control experiment (this is important later on) going on with some of the inmates. this is legit but the person behind the experiments, colonel gordon burgess (saxon), wants to up the ante with a new experiment that will result in total mind control and mega strength to create the ultimate, super soldier. after the doctor running the original experment refuses to help. the colonel enlist the help of a bent (we see him fuck an inmate later on) warder to inject the death row inmates and monitor the results.
after the warden injects the first prisoner, it doesn't take long before he takes ill and go beserk fucking up loads of prison guards with his super strength. he is eventually overcome and strapped down on the infirmary bed. the prison preist goes to visit him, which leads to him getting infected, which leads on with him infecting the bulk of the prisoners when his nose bleeds into the communion wine at christmas mass which happens to be attended by the warden and his family. but this all happens later on.
meanwhile, with results from the first prisoner going as expected, the colonel wants to try again on another deathrow prisoner. which results in him actually breaking free from the electric chair and go on a rampage.
meanwhile, the inmates accidentally infected with the communion wine start getting zombie like which leads to the prisoners not infected rioting (lead by our 'nam hero) and taking over the prison holding the warders family hostage.
all shit gets out of hand, and the colonel brings in another doctor to try and sort the situation. she's a hot blonde and the way the way saxon chisels in a totally out of the blue nude scene of her is absolutely hilarious. so she realises that all is fucked and she's been well and truly stitched up by the colonel on this one. she can't possibly find a cure until its 'discovered' that the prisoners from the original experiment are immune from the virus. she concludes that the potion they were given (a milder version of the zombie virus stuff) will give them protection from the virus and she'll be let out. the colonel id having none of this though. he decided that the best course of action is to blow the prison and all inside to smithereens.
so she shares what's left of the original potion to the two kids, 'nam and herself. leaving barely enough for her camera man (yeah, she had a news camera man working with her). she gives a convicted murderer a cure but her friend and collgue. he later ends up fucked as you might have guessed.
oh, i forgot to mention that the colonel also gets the mob boss to go in to the prison (his brother happens to be in prison running shit with his twink boyfriend) to persuade the rioters to stop. that ends well. just like this film, lol.
this film is a complete turkey with bad acting and a terrible script and directing. but it does have tits and plenty of gore and is entertaining enough for me to have watched a few times
look out for rorion gracieDAY 10
DEADLY FRIEND (1986)
- a new kid moves into town with his mother and the robot (bb) he has built himself. it's quickly established that this robot has a nasty side when it nearly kills some chap trying to break into the family vw van whilst the mother and son are in the service station. the kid is a genius and is conveniently good with matters concerning the human brain. he quickly befriends a local lad and the hot girl next door. the fun doesn't last to long when firstly, the nasty old bag over the road blows his robot, bb, to pieces with her double barrel shotgun. then secondly, his girlfriend dies after she is slapped and punched by her abusive dad, which sends her flying down the stairs, smacking her head hard sending her into a coma from which she won't recover. the boy genius steals his girlfriends body from the hospital then inserts bb's microchip (it's not so micro its bastard huge. 80s micro, lol) brain in to her brain. his madcap idea works but all is not well as the human/robot hybrid go on a killing vengeful spree before she is ultimately gunned down by the police.
i haven't seen this since maybe it was first released on video. i enjoyed it. it's like an 80s kid film with some brutal kill scenes added. the scene when the father abuses his daughter is brutal as fuck. when he eventually gets his comeuppance, it's quite savage and gory. the old lady gets her head exploded with the lass smashes a basketball in her face.
when she does that with her fingers it indicates that bb is running shit
these days nice n thick. yummy!!JESSICKA RABID (2010)
- i only stuck with watching this on the promise of seeing the magnificent tits of low rent, scream queen elske mccain, which are displayed all to few times for my liking, and the prospect of tons of gory violence. i was mainly bored and kept nodding off.
a white trash family keep their retarded cousin as a pet dog. she thinks and acts like a dog. she gets abused, raped, and sold to make porn films. even her female cousin abuses her and has cock throbbing lesbian sex (well once, and we don't see much) with her by enticing her to lick her lady bits by smearing them with peanut butter.
to cut a long boring story short. she gets bit by a dog and contracts rabies. then after she is raped again by some family friend, she kills him then goes on a killing spree after first filing her teeth down to sharp points and wasting her shit family. though her female cousin was hot.
mccain is batshit crazy but has great tits and is trailer park hot. the things she would say on facebook made me surprised that the men in white coats never came and took her away in a van with square wheels.
looking rough and skinny these days.DAY 11
THE PURGE: ANARCHY (2014)
- i read a few times that the sequel is better than the original. these people weren't lying. this was excellent. sergeant (frank grillo) was a total badass when having unexpectedly ending up having to protect a group of people caught outdoors during the purge whilst on his way to do some peronal purging of his own.
i liked the first, i loved this. great popcorn fodder.THE FOG (1980)
- great atmosphere, great suspense and ghost which were creepy and not cgi. looked and sounded great on blu too., with carpenters awesome score crisp and clear. excellent ghost story.