Kudos bro, while were on here talking the talk, you're actually out there mincing the walk
Are you suggesting "Army of One" is the type of guy who orders a 16 inch steel rod online, along with delivery by DPD, spends every second after tracking it ,then when his 1 hour delivery slot comes, he draws all the curtains, pulls down his skinny jeans and presses his buttocks hard against the inside of the letter box?