UK's Scariest Debt Collector

[phreak]

omega has it right

I had things to sort out- you really aren't that high up the food chain but as i was in town i gave you the chance- I was staying at the re: Shoreditch by the way- had din-dins at hawks moor- save up and you may be able to go there sometime no mark

so called your phone once the important stuff was done

a question

its a phone

I called as requested

now you are moving the goalposts

some simple facts you tit


you got lippy
you called it on
i asked for an email
you refused
you gave me a number to call
i called it
you didn't pick it up
now you want me to come to turnpike lane and call you from a phone box
i was 198 miles from home- you were at home
and didn't pick it up

you said you'd give me a number to call - i called it you didn't pick it up. now you are saying not only do I have to get to london, i have to get to a payphone in turnpike lane and call you between 10 and 4!!! laughable. what next- 'and you have to be wearing blue..... and it has to be after lunch... but not on a friday..... and not if its raining...... and only if my boss gives me time off.....'

if its half an hour to euston why didn't you meet us off the train? dead easy that. why not? and why didn't you pick up at 11? seriously- why not? cos if I had sorted this I'd have had the phone on me all day to see if you'd shit it or not. but you 'left the phone in the van'. if thats true why ask me to call it? as you knew you wouldn't answer it unless i caught you driving to or from work as you don't have the phone on you as your missus will have a go at you.

it just seems to everyone here that you are making excuses.

do you know what would have happened if it was me?

i'd have clocked you were on the 9.48
i'd have got the tube to euston
and met you off the train and caught you unawares and watched you go white, stuttering and stammering as your arsehole got up and left the building.

why didn't you do this?
you couldn't say to your boss 'i need to nip to euston something has come up?'

I'll tell you why shall i.

you melted,
didn't want to know
and if you want to say I wasn't in London I can post the tickets I travelled down on

bottom line is I gave you enough to make it happen. it didn't- because you didn't want it
you gave a number thinking I was all hot air and i called it- you never picked it up- 5 times that got called. you had your chance- i travelled 400 miles round trip to call you out- you disappeared.

and 11 o clock is 'too late for you'. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA- sorry mate give me your timetable and in addition to travelling across the country I will fit in with you.

as for your missus knowing you have a second phone- what type of man lets a splitarse dictate what he does- a wanker thats what type of 'man'. you went down the road of getting the SIM then left it in 'the van'. my arse. you got the call and shit it.

patsy and tommy must be gutted how their top lad turned out

done with you now cockhead. everyone can see you for what you are. a shithouse.

au revoir bellend

you had your chance- I did as requested - you ran away. now don't bother me anymore your a winnit on my ringpiece son

Damn. Brutal e-ssault.


Also props for "splitarse". Never heard that one before, but I like it!

[BigCyp]

conker being exposed for the scaredy rabbit he truly is in this thread.

[JasonH]

Aw man, was kind of hoping this thread would culminate in two Getbiggers finally meeting up to throw hands. 

[gee38]

it would have done

if only he hadn't left his phone, the one he bought just for this occasion, in his van.

also as he said he would put the chip in an old phone- why would his missus worry about this???

so the conversation WOULD have gone

'i see you are using your old phone'

'yes i am expecting a call'

'ok'


except in his house it goes

'you are using an old phone'

'i am sorry'

'thats it we are finished'



which sounds more likely??

 

[BigCyp]

Aw man, was kind of hoping this thread would culminate in two Getbiggers finally meeting up to throw hands. 

I've never been offered to 'throw hands' here, but i'll gladly meet anyone who's up to the challenge.

[BigCyp]

it would have done

if only he hadn't left his phone, the one he bought just for this occasion, in his van.

also as he said he would put the chip in an old phone- why would his missus worry about this???

so the conversation WOULD have gone

'i see you are using your old phone'

'yes i am expecting a call'

'ok'


except in his house it goes

'you are using an old phone'

'i am sorry'

'thats it we are finished'



which sounds more likely??

 

Are you saying that if conker was ever burned to death, forensics would use his pillow to match for dental records?

[gee38]

I'm saying that graham norton used to take his lunch money at school

[BigCyp]

I'm saying that graham norton used to take his lunch money at school

Haha yes, conker seems like the type of 'guy' who stayed behind after school in the boys toilets and gave pakis bj's in exchange for chinese lessons

[gee38]

I think at school he was 'good with colours' and described as 'flamboyant'

[BigCyp]

I think at school he was 'good with colours' and described as 'flamboyant'

Yes, I think it's safe to conclude that conker's 'Hello Kitty' pencil case was the only picture of a pussy he dared look at his entire teenage years.

[gee38]

apparently his parents 'knew for years' but never confronted him about it- you know how 'that lot' can get all hysterical

[BigCyp]

apparently his parents 'knew for years' but never confronted him about it- you know how 'that lot' can get all hysterical

His cover was blown when he went shopping with his mum for salad at Waitrose, and she asked him to run back to the salad aisle to get a cucumber, which she'd forgotten. 20 minutes later she went back to find him still at the cucumber section systematically measuring each one with his mouth! "Cuthbert, what on earth are you doing, just pick up a cucumber we only have 5 minutes left on the car!!!" "Ok mum, i'll be 2 more minutes I just have to ask if these are buy one get one free as Nigel's coming round to play xbox live tonite so we'll need more salad" oh brother, gayer than leaving a nokia 5110 in your van and hiding in the bathroom until 11pm

[gee38]

haha!

the purpose of a mobile phone is you keep it on you


not leave it locked up outside where its no use

[BigCyp]

haha!

the purpose of a mobile phone is you keep it on you


not leave it locked up outside where its no use

Yes gee, but when you wear 28" waist skinny jeans from H&M like conker does, it's hard to lie to your boyfriend about what's hiding in your pocket! If it was a AAA duracell, he could say it was a hard on lol

[gee38]

I reckon he wears cra-zee wear baggies and otomix

effectively he is the david dearth of harringey, riding the roads on his bike to 'help a man out',

1 part david dearth, 1 part chris dickerson, 1 part bob birdsong and every part bob paris

[gee38]

he's not been about today

I wonder where he has been

http://www.theboltonnews.co.uk/news/10586873._Purple_Aki__accused_of_breaking_order_banning_him_from_feeling_men_s_muscles/

[Conker]

Gee you are pussy plain and simple. You told me you were coming to london yesterday morning ,so i gave you my number and told you where i would be till 5, you called me at 11 whilst posting on here that you WAS in london(so obviously not then), why did you not ring me when you were here?

No doubt you rang after a few drinks sitting in your bedsit when you had mustered up a bit of dutch courage. you withheld the number or i would have rang you back this morning and you have not rung back today.

Ring me now or give me your number and i will ring you now. You have said you are in london every week for a couple of days and i have told you where i will be next week. I will gladly come and meet you and stamp on your face a few times for your troubles.

[bigmc]

lots of posters finding it impossible to organise a simple meeting in this thread

[gee38]

course you will

 


you seem to think i am dancing to the beat of your drum. i'm not. i was in lONDON- i called you- you shit out.

no point in you giving it big licks now to try to save face.

as I said i have wasted enough time on you.

for fucks sake your splitarse controls you anyway- perhaps I should ask her when you are allowed out.

however you frame it I came to your city, i called the number you gave me, you shit yourself. end of story. you gave it big licks and had your bluff called and folded.

game over bellend- feel free to call me all the names under the sun- you are all piss and wind.

a question though- you knew i was on the 9.48- why didn't you get down to euston then?

[gee38]

re I am a pussy

I am not the one who calls it on then folds. I travelled to your city- you couldn't even travel 5 miles. You can't have a phone on you as your missus will kill you. you then give me a number which I call to get it sorted and you don't answer.

waste of time blowhard.

now the adams and ms13...... i'm all ears

you are a joke- the opportunity was there- you melted.

the idea i would waste my time twice on a pissant like you is just not going to happen.

[Conker]

course you will

 


you seem to think i am dancing to the beat of your drum. i'm not. i was in lONDON- i called you- you shit out.

no point in you giving it big licks now to try to save face.

as I said i have wasted enough time on you.

for fucks sake your splitarse controls you anyway- perhaps I should ask her when you are allowed out.

however you frame it I came to your city, i called the number you gave me, you shit yourself. end of story. you gave it big licks and had your bluff called and folded.

game over bellend- feel free to call me all the names under the sun- you are all piss and wind.

a question though- you knew i was on the 9.48- why didn't you get down to euston then?

RING ME NOW CUN T

[bigmc]

if you both want to do this

i will facilitate it in yorkshire which is halfway between you

somewhere safe no cops

im serious

[gee38]

oh look.

[gee38]

no need big mc

captain shit-out had his chance but 'left his phone in his van'

I have wasted enough time on this helmet.

[bigmc]

no need big mc

captain shit-out had his chance but 'left his phone in his van'

I have wasted enough time on this helmet.

ok

that did sound a bit suspect

his mrs must be nails