Dude is a total getbigger...
1. A Stath Is Born
The artist about to known as The Stath was born an enigma. Depending on what source you believe, he either burst into the world on 12th September 1967 in Shirebrook, Derbyshire (he’s a Forest fan) or on the same day in 1972 in Lewisham. We’d like to think that he was forged from a strand of Chuck Norris’ hair that was fired into the heart of Krypton. All that’s known for sure is that he started as he meant to go on: kicking, screaming and bald.
2. A Knack For Hitting Things
Theatrics run in the blood. Jason’s mock-auctioneer dad Barry also fancied himself as a lounge singer, and the young Stath found himself roped into the family band: Barry sang, Jason’s elder brother Lee played guitar while ‘lil Jason battered the drums. Obviously.
3. High Times
While on a family holiday, Statham spotted a guy doing a high dive and decided he fancied a crack. He started training everyday, becoming one of the British team’s top divers and competed around the world at the Commonwealth Games, several Olympic trials and placing an impressive 12th at the World Championships. There’s a bloody good reason why he didn’t bag gold though…
4. Scoring Big
The Stath has his priorities, and its models not medals. Competitions gave him plenty of opportunities to keep the British end up in the name of international relationships. “I was on the British team travelling around the world and jumping in bed with Russian girls!”
5. Market Values
The Stath briefly followed his dad into the duck’n’dive business, hustling dodgy wares – knock-off perfumes and jewellery - on some of London’s busiest shopping streets. “It didn’t fall off the back of a lorry,” he told Jay Leno. “Someone pushed them and I caught them. We made thousands!”
6. Model Of Success
All that hard work training for diving success might not have paid off in Olympic glory but it certainly gave The Stath an athlete’s physique, which meant he was earmarked for modeling work. He did campaigns for Hilfiger, Levis and French Connection as well as a silver pants-and-pant music video for Erasure. We’re all just going to have to pretend this didn’t happen.
7. Have A Break…
“Remember,” says the familiar-looking hairline on the other side of the café table, “You are not a salmon.” True dat. The Stath’s biggest break though was a UK commercial for Kit-Kat, were he philosophically points out how daft it is knackering yourself out like the unfortunate upstream swimmer.
8. Licence Fail
The Stath might be a legend in the business for his skills behind the wheel, but when it came to passing his test, he certainly didn’t impress anyone down the DVLA with the ‘bad habits’ he’d already picked up while helping his dad with the driving load on long journeys… aged all of 15. “I failed the test two-or-three times,” he admitted to Leno. “I’d drive to the test, fail, and then drive home.”
9. Acting The Part
Statham didn’t have to do too much acting in his audition for Guy Ritchie for a part in Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels. Challenged with persuading the director to buy a piece of fake jewellery, the actor laid on the pearly patter with an experienced trowel. Ritchie walked away with four bits of tat, while The Stath left the audition with both the part as well as Ritchie’s cash still jingling in his pocket. Now that’s method.
10. On Set Horseplay
Picture the scene. You’re Matthew Vaughn. You’re driving your brand new Porsche around London feeling smug that you’re first big production – Lock, Stock – is currently shooting. You’re revelry is broken by the clunking noise you can hear. Baffled, you take it to a mechanic, who promptly pisses himself laughing. You’re naturally a bit narked to find out that Jason bloody Statham has filled your boot with rusty horseshoes.
11. Chessed Off
The biggest ongoing sporting feud isn’t Barca/Madrid, Ali/Frazier or Kobe/Shaq, but the ongoing chess war between Guy Ritchie and Jason Statham, with each man claiming that he is master of the black & white board. Describing the director as ‘probably the worst chess player in the world,” Statham insists he’s still owed money from his endless wins. We reckon Deep Blue is crapping itself.
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12. Getting His Ass To Mars
Some people would say that there’s no such thing as a bad choice, as each decision will only lead to another decision, then another, and so on as life plays out. But then those people didn’t drop out of the lead role of Dog Soldiers for a part in John Carpenter’s Ghosts Of Mars like Statham did – only to then get bumped in turn into a smaller role by Ice Cube, who later called the movie the worst of his career.
13. Getting Real On Vicky Vale
The Stath’s Cellular co-star Kim Basinger decided that she needed a real scare to get her into the part of the kidnapped victim and asked him to surprise her. So he attacked her throat with a belt. She certainly looks scared in the movie.
14. Never Crude…
The Transporter’s infamous oil-slick getaway sequence – where Frank covers himself in the black stuff to evade capture – turned Statham into a ladies’ favourite. They might be even happier to know that it’s actually syrup that the Stath slathers himself in – you’ll certainly never have accused him of being sweet before. Pour some sugar on him.
15. Learning From The Best
When it comes to a remake of the national-treasure Italian Job, any Brit worth his Union Jack grundies knows he’s got to really step up when it comes to the driving. As the cast’s sole Brit representative – playing Handsome Rob – the Stath spent time under the tutelage of former F1 champion Damon Hill to guarantee that he could fly the flag proudly. In the event, it turned out that neither he nor Mark Wahlberg was as good behind the wheel as co-star Charlize Theron.
16. Kicking Off
A talented soccer player, Statham is a floating member of Hollywood United FC – the team set up by Sex Pistol’s guitarist Steve Jones. The Stath has to be careful these days in order to avoid picking up a career-knacking knock, but when he does play he can count Dermot Mulroney, Robbie Williams and – of course - longtime Stath-pal and Gazza-grabber Vinnie Jones among his teammates. If you play them, wear a cup.
17. A Cunning Stuntman
Whether it’s 150mph motor pursuits on the streets of Miami, somersaulting through a window while attached to a chair, driving a jet ski onto dry land or just straight-forward hand-to-axe combat, Statham does nearly all his own stunts – that’s why he’s The Stath. In this week’s Parker, he winds up going over a balcony and then clinging onto the edge 50 stories high. “Call it crazy, but I feel if I didn’t do them myself, I’d be cheating the audience.”
18. Getting Cranked
Reasoning that it would look fake in CGI, The Stath even performed Crank’s climactic helicopter fight, hanging on a helicopter 2,000 feet over downtown LA. “You just have a small belt and a very thin wire that will save you from falling if you do slip on the skis. The whole time you’re outside of the helicopter and the blades are turning and if you look down, it’s pretty scary.”
19. Chinatown
Crank’s now-legendary Chinatown love scene didn’t just surprise audiences. The extras had no idea they were about to see a simulated public nookie session – complete with The Stath’s pale arse a-quiver – and their shocked-turned-delighted reactions are genuine. “To some people, that would be a terrifying stunt,” proffered Statham. “For me, it was a great day at the office.”
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20. Horsing Around
Unfortunately for Jason, Crank 2-filmmaking duo Neveldine/Taylor moved his ‘office’ from Chinatown to a horse track. Pushing the wheelbarrow in public with Amy Smart is a tricky enough ask, without having to do it on the hoof-pounded, scat-skidded ground too. “There is horse sh*t in the mud,” Amy smarted, “and I felt dirty and gross and I just needed a shower.”
21. Fit To Drive
Neither Kit-Kats or breaks were not on the menu when it came to training for Death Race. Statham trained so hard that over three months he managed to drop his body fat level from 20% to a truly impressive 6%. He lost around 17lbs in six weeks thanks to a brutal fitness regime and a diet of raw veg mixed with bitter food envy. “No calories. No taste.”
22. Head Of The Fanclub
While researching Death Race at the ultra rough, maximum-security Corcoran Prison, CA, Statham and director Paul ‘Look, I’m not PT, for chrissakes’ Anderson were approached by one inmate who pointed out that the bald-headed Brit chappie looked “just like Jason Statham.” The prisoner certainly knew a good noggin when he saw one – he turned out to be a mass-murderer with a long history of decapitations.
23. Not Coming To Play, Boy
The Stath probably isn’t the first guy to get thrown out of the Playboy mansion, but he’s probably the only one to get red-carded for refusing to pose with the girls. While wearing only a bathrobe, he decided to play it cool while attending a party there in 2008. Apparently Hugh Hefner disapproved of Statham’s snub and had his security transport him to the nearest exit.
24. Bugging Out
Given his reputation for mad motor skills, you’d have expected The Stath to have had his collar felt by the cops at some point. You probably wouldn’t have imagined it to have been for driving a golf buggy – the star allegedly getting a wrist-slap from the law after taking a ‘borrowed’ cart for a joyride on the motorway following a heavy party session at Coachella 2010 with his ex-squeeze and Hills star Kristin Cavallari.
25. Plane Lucky
Statham wasn’t supposed to be the one firing the plane’s nose-cone cannons in The Expendables, but his writer/director/star Stallone decided to swap places with his younger co-star on the day of shooting. The Stath gamely stepped up to the plate and into the sky. Afterwards, the pilot pointed out that the engine was leaking and they were lucky to have stayed in the air. And then a few months after shooting, the plane didn’t: it’s now a big compacted cube of scrap metal.
