i hurt my back a few times a year to the point it was hard to sit down or get up
i quit before i did big damages
most lifters have these things but will not talk about it because too proud, in denial etc
If you're consistently hurting your back doing big compound lifts, then you likely have some weakness there and/or structural issues (or use too much weight/poor form).
The key to being bull strong, is having a strong, stable back. I broke two bones in my back a few years ago (not training related) and slowly built it back up using high rep stiff-leg deadlifts, good morning, back extensions etc.
As for the big compound lifts, you're one hundred percent right - you shouldn't treat them as "ego lifts", that's when stuff snaps and breaks. Instead focus on getting strong slowly, with good form. Tweaking your back or a knee or a shoulder or whatever is bound to happen if you train hard in any way, its recognising when to back off to avoid major injury.