As someone who got out of a relationship last week, this is exactly what happened. I slipped up one time and wasn't there to support her. As I found out later the next day she already emailed her ex to call her. Only a week later did I find out that she was seeing him and just "hanging out" with him, going to church and all the "innocent stuff". I started getting suspicious because of how she started responding to me when I asked her where she was going and where since she took of for most of day 2-3 times, barely messaging me and calling me. I ended up asking her when she was getting back one saturday and drove to her place 20 minutes earlier. I make it in time to see her ex-bf drop her off. She had the galls to tlel me that she would have told me sooner or later. Same night I found out that she was deleting all his phone calls and messages of her phone.
Lessons learned; even the nicest girls can go bad once you turn into a big softie to make them more comfortable. I feel like I wasted time and lost my getbigger card.
A former colleague of mine experienced the same. This gentlemen was the type that would fall in love very easily and devout the vast majority of his free time to his partner. His friends (mostly male) would complain to him that in order to nourish friendships, you needed to be present.
Anyhow, one day I started to notice that he was seeking to hang out with the guys. He comes out one night and we all notice that he had gained over 50 pounds of fat, had a scruffy look to his face and was a little too courteous to people. We dug a little deeper and he opened up about the fact that his girlfriend was starting to go out very often with her female friends. He said that they were simply going out for dinner and drinks and that she would always show up home drunk, but capable of holding her own. Slowly, the pattern continued.
Then, one day, she had a long talk with him and expressed the fact that she had started to fall for another man. Her angle was that they met by way of one of her friends and had developed a "friendship". Because of this friendship, that showed much promise, she felt compelled to let my friend go in order to explore what that other man could bring to her life.
As he sat there with his manhood hanging by his sleeves, I couldn't find the sympathy needed to console this man. To make matters worse, he then told us that a few days after the break up, he discovered hidden text messages and calls (he had access to her phone logs due to them sharing a family account and he being the administrator, but never checked out of respect for her privacy) that coincided with every night that she would go out with her "friends".
Sad, but shit like that happens every day. Women are way more savvier at playing men.
Moral of the story is that no man, regardless of being in a relationship or not, should ever let his guard down.
~Keep in great shape, well groomed and always work to improve yourself in every aspect of your life (career, social, health, wealth, physical etc.).
~Make her realize that it is a privilege for her to have you, as much as it is for you to have her.
~Go out with your male friends every month (2-3x) and make yourself busy.
~Keep a generous flock of friends available to chat with when need be.
Fuck, if no one wants to talk or hang out with you, why should she give a shit about doing the same? Keep yourself looking/acting like a highly desired commodity and she will follow suit.
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P.S. Sorry that you went through such bullshit.
