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Author Topic: Red 5 was a dick  (Read 1456 times)
Tapeworm
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Posts: 23973



« on: September 02, 2014, 12:19:46 AM »

Old Guy in Robe: So we shoot torpedoes into this exhaust port here and that'll blow it up.

Uncredited Pilot: Wtf that's like two meters wide.  That's impossible to hit.

Red 5: It's not impossible.  I used to bullseye womp rats in my T16 back home.  They're not much bigger than two meters.

Red 2: Wait.  What did you just say?

Red 5: That two meters isn't an impossible target.

Red 2: Uh, no.  You said you used to shoot womp rats for fun.



Red 5: So?

Red 2: So that's a dick move.

Red 5: No it's not.  They're rats.

Red 2: Yeah, rats minding their own business.  It's not like they were in your house.  You just said you had to go flying around to find them.  How would you like it if someone did that to you just because you look like a rat.




Red 5: I don't look like a rat.  And it's not that big a deal.  Biggs used to go with me.  You guys like Biggs.  Biggs, tell 'em.

[Biggs shrugs]

Red 5: Biggs!

Red 2: I'm not flying with rat boy.  He's a fucking psycho.

Red 5: Shut up.  I'm not a psycho.

Red 2: Really?  Kills animals for fun as a child?  That's like #1 on the psycho checklist.

Red 5: Shut up.  It is not.



Red 2: I bet you don't even know what The Rebellion is about.  You just like flying around killing things.

Red 5: I do so know.  Leave me alone.

Red 2: Not really down with your whole 'killing innocent animals for fun' thing, Red 5.

Red 3: No doubt.  What an asshole.  I can't believe we gave this guy a lightsaber.

Red Leader: Sorry Red 5.  Looks like you're out of The Rebellion.

Red 5: What?!  Come on!  This is bullshit!

Red 2: Why don't you go throttle an ewok or something.  Bet that'd make you feel better.

Red 5: Hey, fuck you!

Old Man in Robe on phone: Hi, Joe?  Yeah, it's Bill.  You wanna look in on Red 5's taunton for me please?  We just had kind of a disturbing conversation with him.

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