I see you rationalization. But, first time we had an abortion we did it surgically and psychologically it affected her quite a bit. In which I can understand. So fast forward 9-10 months later, she purposely stopped taking the birth control pills to get pregnant so I wouldn't leave her since she loves me so much? Things were rocky in the relationship for a good 5-6 months straight. Now she already has 3 kids that are teenagers now from her first marriage. Also you would think it'd be the other way where a man loves the woman so much, wouldn't want her to leave his ass so he gets her pregnant. But here I am her doing this to keep me attached to her. Not sure to feel "special" or just plain bad decisions, or bad idea to trust her or just a fucked up situation.
Hey, I am no expert on relationships. Given that my wife an I have been married for over 50 years, most of what I know is based on limited experience (experience with only one woman, to be precise).
Having said this and by reading between the lines, it seems like your gal has a history of keeping men in her life by getting pregnant. That's her hang up and your problem too as I see it. Just as you suggest, she might have stopped the birth control pills to bind you to her and your unborn child. If this is the case, she is pretty insecure. You cannot make someone love you. They either love you and want to be with you, or they don't.
The men I know don't often get women pregnant just to insure they'll stay around. Men can be just as emotionally attached to their children as women, but that usually happens after the child is born, unless you are royalty and you are trying to produce and heir, in which case the woman is often just a vessel for this purpose.
The production of a child is at minimum an eighteen year commitment and often much longer. This is really a big deal, both emotionally and financially. If you both aren't in it for the long haul, then you basically fucked up your child's chance at a decent life. Not to be mean or judgmental, mind you, but there are people who'd do anything to have such a commitment because they seriously want to have children that much.
It saddens me to read into your post that neither of you really want this baby. It seems like it really is just an accident born of neglect or worse personal motivation, which had nothing to do with bringing a new life into this world. Don't take my comments personally, because unfortunately, you both probably represent a large portion of the population.
If you both decide to keep this baby, then please stop seeing this from such an egotistical and needy viewpoint. When the baby is born, it should be all about the baby and not about you. If you are not ready for this, you are not ready to be parents.