Worst Date You've Ever Been On

[Hulkotron]

Met this girl online and agreed to meet up at a book store (we both like to read). Anyway we meet and check out the books for 30 min and chat. I'm not impressed with her looks (she did the 1 photo good angle trick on her profile) so I'm not into it but I'll finish the date. We go to this cafe next door and get a couple lemonades. We sit outside drinking the lemonades on the tables in front of the cafe just talking. About 30 min later I'm done with my drink and ready to go saying things like well it's getting late, and what not. She doesn't take the hint and even says oh I don't have anything else to do. Well maybe I was too nice of guy because we sat there and talked for at least a few hours and I made several attempts to end it but the date wound not end!  Finally my ass was hurting from sitting on the patio furniture so I suggested we go get some Vietnamese pho for dinner, I knew a great place nearby. So we went and ate and I drove her home. Wasted my whole fucking day on a chick I wasn't into. Sad thing is that I gave her a second and last date but made sure it was over in under 3 hours. Talk about a lingerer.

Classic mistake, never meet up with a broad who only has one photo.

Also a corollary, never meet up with a broad who has multiple photos but no full-body shots, she will be fat 100% of the time.

[_aj_]

Classic mistake, never meet up with a broad who only has one photo.

Also a corollary, never meet up with a broad who has multiple photos but no full-body shots, she will be fat 100% of the time.

100.00% of the time. You left out the two zeros required for precision.

[240 is Back]

i dated a girl with a brain tumor just treated.  She was a college volleyball player, very very hot face, but due to meds, blew up 30 pounds. So I was lucky enough to have a summer with former super hottie, now low self esteem big girl.  My family made fun of me for dating a bigger girl, but I saw the potential and wanted to get in at the ground level. 

I'm FB friends with her now... over a decade later, she's hot as fck once again. 

[Pumpzilla]

Met a girl on dating website. Only a few messages were sent to one another. Just to mainly set up the date. Ok, so supposedly  this chick was supposed to be a model and in her pics she looked like a solid 8. Met in person, which she was an hour late to, and she was faaaaaaar from that 8 in the pics. Photoshoppery was used. Bitch also had a stach. Like one of those light, thin, peach fuzz types. Which I mentioned to her, "Hey, you forgot to shave.". She gave me an akward stare as a reply.

Long story short: I didn't get a mustache ride.  

[_aj_]

Met a girl on dating website. Only a few messages were sent to one another. Just to mainly set up the date. Ok, so supposedly  this chick was supposed to be a model and in her pics she looked like a solid 8. Met in person, which she was an hour late to, and she was faaaaaaar from that 8 in the pics. Photoshoppery was used. Bitch also had a stach. Like one of those light, thin, peach fuzz types. Which I mentioned to her, "Hey, you forgot to shave.". She gave me an akward stare as a reply.

Long story short: I didn't get a mustache ride.  

Social awkwardness of peace.

[DroppingPlates]

A woman with a child care center at home, so indirectly she warned me to get up early the next morning. Anyway, we were drinking a glass of wine while she was texting and was playing with her annoying small dogs at the same time, who jumped like ADHD puppets on my lap. Needless to say that I got annoyed by this, so I asked her to quit this. She went in defensive mode ride away by saying "hey, shall I give you a lift back to the train station?", and I was like "yes, please"  

[Yamcha]

A woman with a child care center at home, so indirectly she warned me to get up early the next morning. Anyway, we were drinking a glass of wine while she was texting and was playing with her annoying small dogs at the same time, who jumped like ADHD puppets on my lap. Needless to say that I got annoyed by this, so I asked her to quit this. She went in defensive mode ride away by saying "hey, shall I give you a lift back to the train station?", and I was like "yes, please"  

and then I woke up from my wet dream...

[The Wizard of Truth]

It was ages ago, before Internet dating really, it was when chatrooms were all there was so about 15years ago. She described herself as a normal girl who likes the gym. She emailed me (shows how old this was) a face pic and she was tasty. So I said look we will meet in an hour in a pub between our two towns. I was there first and got a coke, then I notice an obese girl looking around. Before i could hide i was spotted. Before she opened her mouth I said look I have a drink so sit down with me if u want but nothings gonna happen. She still wanted 'a shift' (kissing session) when we left but I just started laughing and got on my motorbike.
Another time a few years later I had my own house was bringing a girl in after a great date, she was a female cop. All of a sudden mmy gf at the time runs down the street and I'm caught. She gave me such a kick in the bollocks ill never forget it and I couldn't even hit her back with the cop still standing there

[Nether Animal]

I missed my senior prom, and a year later one of my best friends was dating a chick a year behind, so she was a senior. They were trying to hook me up with her friend, who was a solid looking lass and was looking for a date. Fair enough. I meet her at a house party and she is pretty pushy, basically came on to me and I was cool with that. I buy the tux, pay for everything and go out with her a few times leading up to it, and the night comes... prom goes fair enough. A little awkward for me and my buddy since we already graduated and didn't know anyone, but whatever. So she is having an after party at her friend's house with all of her school friends and I get roped into going. I'm thinking okay... she is going to get drunk and let me smash her, or this has to escalate somehow. My protocol for these house parties is never to get sloshed, just have a couple and keep my bearings so I can take advantage of whatever happens, well, near the end of the night people are hooking up etc. and I'm sitting on her downstairs couch realizing that I hadn't talked to her a whole lot (if at all; she was being evasive) since the party started, I was more just socializing with random peeps. After about 20 minutes of assessing I realize that she ran upstairs, locked herself in her room and shut off her phone. I got used for a date and totally made a fucking fool afterward, or hell for the entire two weeks leading up to this. I was so pissed, I almost came to blows with her friends dad because he didn't want me driving after having drinks. Fair enough, he didn't realize that I only had 2 beers like 6 hours ago, but it felt so awkward I had to get out of there. Never spoke again, of course

[jon cole]

It was ages ago, before Internet dating really, it was when chatrooms were all there was so about 15years ago. She described herself as a normal girl who likes the gym. She emailed me (shows how old this was) a face pic and she was tasty. So I said look we will meet in an hour in a pub between our two towns. I was there first and got a coke, then I notice an obese girl looking around. Before i could hide i was spotted. Before she opened her mouth I said look I have a drink so sit down with me if u want but nothings gonna happen. She still wanted 'a shift' (kissing session) when we left but I just started laughing and got on my motorbike.
Another time a few years later I had my own house was bringing a girl in after a great date, she was a female cop. All of a sudden mmy gf at the time runs down the street and I'm caught. She gave me such a kick in the bollocks ill never forget it and I couldn't even hit her back with the cop still standing there

Lived the same scene. She spotted me before i saw her because i cross the street with too much enthousiasm, thinking i was going to met a pretty girl.

The date was a painfull. The girl herself admitted she was ugly and didn't attracted men.

[mazrim]

Another time a few years later I had my own house was bringing a girl in after a great date, she was a female cop. All of a sudden mmy gf at the time runs down the street and I'm caught. She gave me such a kick in the bollocks ill never forget it and I couldn't even hit her back with the cop still standing there

All class....

[TheShape.]

Word to the wise, be cautious of Online dating. Last one had seriously hairy arms, it's all I could look at, complete turn off. What's the point of a girl being well groomed but keeping hairy arms?

[38-26-40]

When they mention they're married.....then ask, "do you have a problem with that?"

[Dave D]

I had become friendly with an elderly lady at my gym, she was 60 and she would occasionally come into the gym with her daughter who was my age . We would converse with small talk whenever we'd see each other, for a while she would kind of casually  complain about her relationship until one day she went on about how they had broken up and how hard of a time she was having dealing with it. This went on for a couple of days, and it was always in the parking lot and would drag on. On day I suggested we should grab dinner and talk as opposed to standing in the parking lot. She agreed it was a nice idea.

The back story on this woman was she had married her high school sweetheart and they had been together 20+ years when he died in a motorcycle accident, she had been single for 15 years after his death and had been seeing the guy she had broken up with for 4 years. He was in essence her second serious "relationship" (and according to her very manipulative).

Long story short we settled on a day and meet at a restaurant. Right when we are sat at the table she starts talking about how odd our relationship must seem and it must strike people as odd, blah, blah, blah. She then asks if I realize how old she is and asks how do I think a relationship would work between us.

At this point I'm completely silent and have no idea what to say, thankfully the waitress came to the table. When the waitress left she started talking about our age difference and how flattering it was that someone like me would have an interest in her.

Obviously Im surprised she thought this was a romantic date and I wanted to avoid embarassing her so all I could say was something along the lines of I think we're better off focusing on being friends, as it's not a good idea to jump into a relationship after just getting out of one, and then proceeded to talk about how hard breakups are when you still care about that person but the feelings aren't mutual. And then talked about how hard I was taking a breakup.

That said things got back to normal, we finish dinner and remark that we will see one another at the gym.

Needless to say the next time im at the gym multiple people ask me why I'm dating a 60 year old woman, as she had told everyone we had a date, and her daughter asks me what are my intentions with her mother (to which I said I knew she was going through a tough break up and I was trying to be a sympathetic friend). For a month straight every older and/or obese/unattractive/relationship issue having woman went out of her way to say hello to me.  And the woman acted like nothing happened.

Classic white knight of peace.

[MAXX]

nice storys  
I've had some bad fish aswell.. Long time ago went on a date with some half asian. Looked great on her profile pics. Then we met, I guess her pics where from when she was 15 or something because when we met she had some of the worst case of acne I've seen on a girl. Skin looked like the surface of the moon with acne scar craters.  And some nasty boils too Anyways I was Young and horny so I took the train with her to her place and fucked her anyways. Suprisingly good sex but fuck couldnt stand that face. Was probably not doing too well with the guys because she was texting me for weeks even when I told her it was a one time thing  

[LurkerNoMore]

Any date that involves a bunny suit is going to be unbearable.

Tbombz would win this contest.

[denarii]

When I was in college I went out with a girl and had a little to much to drink. She said don't drive home you can sleep on my couch. She told me her parents were asleep up stairs and she would tell them in the morning. I left a light on an end table so I could find the bathroom. In the middle of the night I hear her by me turning off the light. I put my hand on her ass feeling it through her night gown. Riding my hand underneath it I'm feeling up her ass hearing her moan softly. She puts her hand down my pants. Then I hear, "Mom!" from the other end of the room. I open my eyes in the darkness and see it was her mother I was feeling up. Loud words about being a whore were coming out of the daughter as I pulled my pants up and ran out the door.

in the movies this would have been the opening scene to a threesome.

[denarii]

When I was in college I went out with a girl and had a little to much to drink. She said don't drive home you can sleep on my couch. She told me her parents were asleep up stairs and she would tell them in the morning. I left a light on an end table so I could find the bathroom. In the middle of the night I hear her by me turning off the light. I put my hand on her ass feeling it through her night gown. Riding my hand underneath it I'm feeling up her ass hearing her moan softly. She puts her hand down my pants. Then I hear, "Mom!" from the other end of the room. I open my eyes in the darkness and see it was her mother I was feeling up. Loud words about being a whore were coming out of the daughter as I pulled my pants up and ran out the door.

[OB1]

She didn't even show up.

[Uncle Joon]

So I am feeling frisky and wanna go out on a date with a woman. I pointed my mouse browser to the google search engine button and typed in London escorts. I browse through several sites before choosing Admiral escorts. I go to the girls available tonight section of the site and browse the selection of women on offer. I go back and forth but finally settle on seeing Antonia who is very nice, leggy, slim and brunette 23 year old Italian.

So I call her and book her and ask her the usual questions like if she does Anal or Oral without and she say's that yes she does but that it's £50 extra. I say OK and she say's she will be around in about 40 minutes.
I quickly jump in the shower and put on my clothes and cologne. I go to my top draw and pop 20mg of Cialis. I jump in the car and go quickly to the cash points and take out £500. I pop into tesco and buy one bottle of Archers Rum, one bottle of lemonade, some Sol beer and lemons, few crisps and some Raw rolling paper and roaches.

I call my drug dealer and ask him to bring me over 3g's of ching and he say's he will be about half hour.

I come home and fix myself a drink and roll a joint.
My drug dealer turns up and I get the ching from him and do a line.
Half hour later Antonia turns up.

Antonia rings me from her phone and I can see her from outside my window and I am gobsmacked to find out she is 250lb of pure lard and looks absolutely nothing like her picture and has a Romanian accent and not Italian at all.

I half think about not answering the door but I am buzzed up and I don't want to make a fuss, so basically say to myself lets me just book her for half hour and then tell her to fuck off and book someone else.

That was a pretty bad date.

[FitnessFrenzy]

So I am feeling frisky and wanna go out on a date with a woman. I pointed my mouse browser to the google search engine button and typed in London escorts. I browse through several sites before choosing Admiral escorts. I go to the girls available tonight section of the site and browse the selection of women on offer. I go back and forth but finally settle on seeing Antonia who is very nice, leggy, slim and brunette 23 year old Italian.

So I call her and book her and ask her the usual questions like if she does Anal or Oral without and she say's that yes she does but that it's £50 extra. I say OK and she say's she will be around in about 40 minutes.
I quickly jump in the shower and put on my clothes and cologne. I go to my top draw and pop 20mg of Cialis. I jump in the car and go quickly to the cash points and take out £500. I pop into tesco and buy one bottle of Archers Rum, one bottle of lemonade, some Sol beer and lemons, few crisps and some Raw rolling paper and roaches.

I call my drug dealer and ask him to bring me over 3g's of ching and he say's he will be about half hour.

I come home and fix myself a drink and roll a joint.
My drug dealer turns up and I get the ching from him and do a line.
Half hour later Antonia turns up.

Antonia rings me from her phone and I can see her from outside my window and I am gobsmacked to find out she is 250lb of pure lard and looks absolutely nothing like her picture and has a Romanian accent and not Italian at all.

I half think about not answering the door but I am buzzed up and I don't want to make a fuss, so basically say to myself lets me just book her for half hour and then tell her to fuck off and book someone else.

That was a pretty bad date.

calling an escort is not a date. Hope this helps.

[devilsmile]

this thread is useless without groinks participation

[Overload]

I was drunk one night and having a great time with this girl I just met at a party.  I'm terrible with names, so I completely forgot what she was called.  Anyway the next day my friend is like "yo, that Mexican chick Melissa wants to hook up".  I'm thinking, fuck yeah, time to bone.  The day goes on and I'm pumped to go out with this chick, one of the hottest women I'd ever met.  Then my ASSHOLE friend is like, "is Melissa bringing her hot ass sister"?  I'm like, what?  I thought Melissa WAS the hot ass sister?  No that's Vanessa.

Beast shows up all excited and wants to go skinny dipping.

I end up taking a few hits of X and plowing her overgrown garden of doom.  The next morning I felt so dirty, she smelled like doo doo.

She ends up in love and follows me like a lost dog who hasn't eaten in a week.  All day I felt terrible, not about what I did to her, but about being in public with such a beast.

[Uncle Joon]

calling an escort is not a date. Hope this helps.

Of course it is!