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Reasons to avoid sexual immorality
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Man of Steel:
10 Reasons to Avoid Sexual Immorality
MARCH 3, 2014 BY PETER KROL

http://www.knowableword.com/2014/03/03/10-reasons-to-avoid-sexual-immorality/

Easy sex will keep you from being wise.

To make this point, Solomon lists ten consequences of sexual immorality in Proverbs 6:24-35. Before reading my list, I urge you to read the passage yourself and see how many consequences you can observe. Perhaps making your own list will help you to remember these things when you face temptation.

1. You’ll participate in evil

To preserve you from the evil woman,
from the smooth tongue of the adulteress. (Prov 6:24, ESV)

Immorality is evil, and temptation is an invitation to do evil. But wisdom preserves the wise from evil. When you believe the smooth and deceitful promises of immorality, you choose guilt by association: You are now evil as well.

2. Your desire will take you captive

Do not desire her beauty in your heart,
and do not let her capture you with her eyelashes. (Prov 6:25)

Victor Casale (2012), Creative Commons
Victor Casale (2012), Creative Commons
It was for freedom that Christ has set you free, but immorality seeks to enslave you. Capitulation will become easier and easier. Resistance will become more and more difficult. Far better for you to rid your heart of these fantasies while you can.

3. You’ll lose everything

For the price of a prostitute is only a loaf of bread,
but a married woman hunts down a precious life. (Prov 6:26)

The cost begins low: only a loaf of bread. But with diminishing returns, you’ll need to give more and more until your very life is forfeit. Immorality hooks you while it’s cheap. A glance here, a touch there. But before you know it, you can’t sleep without sexual release. You simply can’t keep your hands off, and you’ll lose everything in the process.

4. Your punishment is inevitable

Can a man carry fire next to his chest
and his clothes not be burned?
Or can one walk on hot coals
and his feet not be scorched?
So is he who goes in to his neighbor’s wife;
none who touches her will go unpunished. (Prov 6:27-29)

You can’t tinker with immorality and hope to escape. You may be able to cover it up for a time, but you will eventually be found out. God sees everything, and he is a consuming fire.

5. You can’t repay what you’ve stolen

People do not despise a thief if he steals
to satisfy his appetite when he is hungry,
but if he is caught, he will pay sevenfold;
he will give all the goods of his house…
[A jealous husband] will accept no compensation;
he will refuse though you multiply gifts. (Prov 6:30-31, 35)

The point is not to justify theft, but to condemn sexual immorality. People can understand a thief’s motives, though they still make him repay what he stole. How much less will they understand you when they find you out?

Perhaps you rob your present or future spouse of your best love and attention. Maybe you steal someone’s innocence. Or perhaps you continue supporting the horrific porn industry, which destroys young women and holds them captive. Pictures are never harmless; we must not lie to ourselves.

6. You’ll lack sense

He who commits adultery lacks sense. (Prov 6:32a)

There goes wisdom and, along with it, life and peace and satisfaction and joy.

7. You’ll destroy yourself

He who does it destroys himself. (Prov 6:32b)

We do it because it feels good. But, like an alcoholic who destroys his liver, or a smoker who disregards his lungs, we kill ourselves with good feelings. Easy sex is all about self-gratification, but Jesus said that he who loves himself loses himself. Wisdom pierces these feelings to find the truth.

8. You’ll create your own wounds

He will get wounds… (Prov 6:33)

It’s like touching a hot stove. Or using credit cards to spend money you don’t have. Or picking a scab. Or playing hopscotch on the interstate. You’ll hurt for it later, and you’ll have brought the hurt on yourself.

9. You’ll find dishonor and disgrace

He will get wounds and dishonor,
and his disgrace will not be wiped away. (Prov 6:33)

You set yourself up for constant reproach and a bad name. You’ll always be that guy who ran off with the girl and ruined a good thing (family, ministry, career, etc.).

10. You’ll lose every time

For jealousy makes a man furious,
and he will not spare when he takes revenge. (Prov 6:34)

Sexual immorality rightly infuriates. Jealous husbands will not spare on the day of revenge.

But what if your immorality doesn’t involve seducing a married person? Then there’s no jealousy to fear, right? “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord” (Rom 12:19). Remember that God, the Great Husband, has a special place in his heart for those with no human protectors. Can you watch your back when it comes to him?

If, like me, you have already failed in the sexual realm, take heart and remember there’s always hope in Christ. He provides a way out. This list is not to consign you forever to guilt and punishment, but to warn you from future folly.
avxo:

--- Quote from: Man of Steel on March 03, 2016, 07:56:00 AM ---Easy sex will keep you from being wise.
--- End quote ---

What does sex have to do with wisdom?



--- Quote from: Man of Steel on March 03, 2016, 07:56:00 AM ---3. You’ll lose everything

For the price of a prostitute is only a loaf of bread,
but a married woman hunts down a precious life. (Prov 6:26)

The cost begins low: only a loaf of bread. But with diminishing returns, you’ll need to give more and more until your very life is forfeit. Immorality hooks you while it’s cheap. A glance here, a touch there. But before you know it, you can’t sleep without sexual release. You simply can’t keep your hands off, and you’ll lose everything in the process.
--- End quote ---

A lot of us are able to enjoy casual sex without becoming addicted and unable to keep our hands off, and end up losing everything in the process. Sounds like Peter Krol is the one with the problem. Maybe he could try to to masturbate a bit?



--- Quote from: Man of Steel on March 03, 2016, 07:56:00 AM ---4. Your punishment is inevitable

Can a man carry fire next to his chest
and his clothes not be burned?
Or can one walk on hot coals
and his feet not be scorched?
So is he who goes in to his neighbor’s wife;
none who touches her will go unpunished. (Prov 6:27-29)

--- End quote ---

Can a man carry fire next to his chest and have his clothes not burn? You betcha! You ignore King David and put on a JEW2 and you can carry a flame until the second coming, no problem.
Can one walk on hot coals and have his feet not be scorched? Of course! People firewalk all the time.



--- Quote from: Man of Steel on March 03, 2016, 07:56:00 AM ---8. You’ll create your own wounds

He will get wounds… (Prov 6:33)

It’s like touching a hot stove. Or using credit cards to spend money you don’t have. Or picking a scab. Or playing hopscotch on the interstate. You’ll hurt for it later, and you’ll have brought the hurt on yourself.
--- End quote ---

Casual sex is like misusing credit cards and paying 20% interest? I guess if you're the one getting fucked... but this seems like a warning to men and the man is supposed to do the fucking, no?



--- Quote from: Man of Steel on March 03, 2016, 07:56:00 AM ---9. You’ll find dishonor and disgrace

He will get wounds and dishonor,
and his disgrace will not be wiped away. (Prov 6:33)

You set yourself up for constant reproach and a bad name. You’ll always be that guy who ran off with the girl and ruined a good thing (family, ministry, career, etc.).
--- End quote ---

Peter Krol will always be the guy that wrote the silly article comparing casual sex to scab picking... it's like you can't win!



--- Quote from: Man of Steel on March 03, 2016, 07:56:00 AM ---10. You’ll lose every time

For jealousy makes a man furious,
and he will not spare when he takes revenge. (Prov 6:34)

Sexual immorality rightly infuriates. Jealous husbands will not spare on the day of revenge.

But what if your immorality doesn’t involve seducing a married person? Then there’s no jealousy to fear, right? “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord” (Rom 12:19). Remember that God, the Great Husband, has a special place in his heart for those with no human protectors. Can you watch your back when it comes to him?
--- End quote ---

To whom is he a husband? If it's more than one woman then he's a bigamist, which apparently is a big no no. And if you throw in at least a man in the mix, then double rainbow man, double rainbow!



--- Quote from: Man of Steel on March 03, 2016, 07:56:00 AM ---If, like me, you have already failed in the sexual realm, take heart and remember there’s always hope in Christ.
--- End quote ---

I don't take advice from failures.



--- Quote from: Man of Steel on March 03, 2016, 07:56:00 AM ---He provides a way out. This list is not to consign you forever to guilt and punishment, but to warn you from future folly.
--- End quote ---

My sarcasm meter exploded when parsing these two sentences... damn you Peter Krol, damn you to hell!
tbombz:
My professor had us read this short paper as part of one of our studies last week and I thought it would make a good contribution to this thread.





5 Moral Fences

What one pastor does to protect himself from himself
for Christ and for others.

By Dr. James MacDonald


Fact: Some kids like to play "near the edge of the cliff," and some kids don't. I always
did! I thrilled to stand near the point of no return and feel the rush of staring danger in
the face but not backing down. Whether the "edge" was rock jumping into a cool mountain
lake or "bumper jumping," moving cars for a lazy slide down a slippery winter street,
the potential of peril invigorated me.
That was then and this is now! "When I became a man I put away childish things." (I
Cor. 13:11)

I was a pastor in seminary when the moral failures of the late '80's hit the news and they
scared me. In addition to the newsworthy blowouts, I was hearing a shocking number
of similar tragedies from my own circle of pastor/friends. I remember one Sunday night
in 1987 when I cried all the way to church. I was terrified as I asked over and over,
"How does this happen? Could this happen to me? How can I protect myself and my
growing little family from the devastation a moral failure would cause? How can I be
sure my actions will remain pure when men better and stronger than me were falling like
flies?"

As I thought and prayed it through it occurred to me that ministers who fell morally must
have disregarded the final warning signals. I knew they didn't go from spirit-filled to
stepping off the cliff in one day. I knew they must have crashed some social barriers
before their slippage became sexual. I remember wondering where the line was and
how I could make sure I never crossed it. I knew I had to make my decisions early and
my standards public so that others would know when I was "playing near the edge." I
was determined that, by God's grace, I would not take the plunge. In fact, I wanted to
stay as far away from the edge of the cliff as I could, so I decided to set up some
boundaries of behavior.

I called them moral fences. The idea was to set up some standards of conduct that if
never broken would make it impossible for me to fail morally. I remembered back to my
days as a bible college student and thinking how strange it was that our college president
would not give my (young, beautiful) fiancée a ride to our church almost two hours
away when he came to speak. With that in mind, I began to form my list of moral
fences.


1) I will not, under any circumstances, ride alone in a car with a female other
than my wife or an immediate family member.
No lifts home for a church secretary, no baby sitters driven home late at night, no teen
girls in my student ministry, more recently no playmates of my daughters, no exceptions.
 One day I wasted two and a half hours in the American Tire store waiting for my car to
be done while my secretary, only minutes away, could have picked me up so easily.
Recently while speaking out of town, I had to explain to my pastor friend why it "would
not work out for his wife to drive me and meet him over there." It has been awkward at
times but the benefits are obvious. How many pastors commit adultery with someone
they never ride alone in a car with? OK some, but read on.


2) I do not counsel women in a closed room or more than once.
Judging by the stories we all hear it seems like the majority of ministry infidelity begins
through a counseling relationship. No matter what the issue, counseling is a very intimate
activity. When the subject matter itself becomes intimate, counseling the opposite
sex is like playing with fire. When our church was smaller keeping this standard meant
that some women had to seek counsel elsewhere and two or three left our church over
my "fence." I was hurt at first but I think it blessed my wife. As pastors we are supposed
to be training others to do ministry, not hoarding it for ourselves. (Eph. 4:11-13) I
have always felt that my time was better spent training a team of men and women to do
the lighter counseling and then referring those with more complex issues to biblical
counseling centers outside our church. When I cannot avoid a second session with a
woman in our church, I have my wife or another pastor sit in with me. Pretty hard to
commit adultery with someone you never spend time alone with.


3) I do not stay alone in a hotel over night.
I did my doctoral thesis on increasing the incidents of self-disclosure of sin among men.
I have heard more confessions of addiction to various forms of sexual sin than any one
pastor should ever have to hear, and it has changed me. It has left me deeply persuaded
that, "there but for the grace of God, (and some moral fences) go I." I know
myself too well. Lengthy, unaccountable hours with manifold temptations available and
affordable is a recipe for failure. Romans 13:14 instructs us that we are to "make no
provision for the flesh." You think I sound weak? I am! And when I forget that weakness,
I cease to know God's strength. (I Cor. 12:10) When I travel, I travel with someone.
When that is impossible, I stay with a friend. When that is impossible, I do not go.
Period! Early in my ministry that meant there were things I missed out on, more recently
our Elders have agreed to help fund a travel partner for me. If an outside ministry opportunity
is deemed worthwhile, and the ministry cannot afford a second airfare, our
church pays for me to take another pastor or elder, or best of all, my wife.


4) I speak often and publicly of my affection for my wife, when she is present
and when she is not.
No one likes to play the hypocrite any more than they have to. Marriages that are failing
often become silent in public before they become loudly negative. Pastors who resist or
refuse to publicly affirm and appreciate the significant role of a supportive spouse may
be revealing a private deterioration of that relationship. I have close friends who consistently
monitor the way I lead, refer to, and interact with my wife in social and ministry
contexts. It was Bill McCartney who taught that the countenance of a wife is the best
indicator of marital strength. I know some men in our church feel the heat because I am
so publicly wild about my wife of sixteen years, too bad!


5) Compliment the character or the conduct - not the coiffure or the clothing.
I am still working on this one. As our church has grown, and I know a much smaller
percentage of the people who attend here, I have seen the power of a compliment become
a problem. As pastors we love people and want to be an encouragement. Formerly,
if I noticed that Shelly had a new dress or Susan had changed her hair, I would
compliment her on that. I felt it was harmless and if it seemed to meet a need and I
meant it sincerely I thought, "no harm done." More recently I have observed that this
seemingly innocent gesture can have far more impact than I ever intended and potentially
meet a legitimate need that I have no business meeting. Apart from family friendships,
I have been trying to restrict my compliments to character and conduct. I get to
use my gift of encouragement but I focus on the things God is doing in a person's life
and not the externals that can be easily misunderstood.


Setting up the "fence" in public.
The fence is useless if I can take it down any time my sinful heart desires. To make it
work those around me must know what I have committed to myself to and be willing to
confront me if they see a fence broken down. To inform the congregation I periodically
weave the fence into a sermon every couple of years. My most recent example was a
message entitled "Meeting God in Moral Failure." When the message came to the "how
to prevent" part, I simply downloaded the five moral fences to everyone. At the staff
level we require a more detailed list of moral fences. From pastors to ministry leaders,
to custodians and bookstore staff, every paid staff member is regularly held accountable
for this moral code. A former singles pastor found it very difficult not to have lunch alone
with women in his ministry, and often "forgot." That is, until we told him we would "forget"
to pay him if he "forgot" again. Remember, this is not legalism. Legalism is when
we judge another's spirituality based on manmade rules. We are not judging anyone's
heart for the Lord, we are simply reasoning together as to how we can be faithful to our
commitment to Christ.


Above Reproach? Blameless?
Both Timothy and Titus instruct us that those who serve us leaders in Christ's church
must be above reproach or blameless. That is to say, our conduct must be such that it
would be difficult, even for those who oppose our ministry, to bring an accusation
against us. Many a pastor has had their ministry destroyed over spurious accusations,
things that could not be proven false, though they were. I believe our congregation is
comforted in knowing that our ministry team is seeking to protect themselves and the
church from the pain of ministry moral failure. By examining the behaviors that sometimes
lead to moral problems and avoiding them we are embracing the wisdom of Proverbs
4:26 which instructs us to "ponder the path of your feet and let all your ways be established."
Of course we must not think that the standards in and of themselves are in
any way righteous, they are not. They are only in place as a protection against potentially
overwhelming temptation. As I write this article, personal immorality is the furthest
thing from my mind.


Last summer, we drove through some very high, single-lane mountain passes on a family
vacation. The road was narrow and the drop off was immense. I was very careful! I
hugged the mountain and drove very slowly. I kept my eyes on the road and refused to
look down, but I am still glad the guard rail was there.
Leadership Journal, Summer 1999
avxo:
What a sad, pathetic, little man this Dr. James MacDonald is... For all his grandiose proclamations that he loves his wife, he's not even able to trust himself to be in close proximity to a fully clothed female during everyday life in situations completely devoid of any sexual tension without having a chaperon around to keep him in check.
B_B_C:
Holy scriptures seem to be a wonderful hiding place for those unable or unwilling to accept their god given sexuality and sexual capacity
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