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Author Topic: Sex Toys and Relationships  (Read 19834 times)
Parker
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« on: March 23, 2006, 06:22:58 PM »

Today on Michael Baisden Radio Show (the author of Maintenance Man, Men Cry in the Dark and other books) the topic was sex toys. There was a woman who called in , "Asia", who was addicted to her "Bullet" sex toy. She uses it everyday, and says no man can compare to her "Bullet" ( no man's hands, tongue, penis can move as fast). The question was, do you think sex toys can mess up a a relationship ( I guess for men its porn). Or can it  prevent a woman from having a meaningful relationship with a man?

We should be glad fully operational androids (pleasurebots) have not been invented yet  Grin 
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sexy_lexy00
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« Reply #1 on: March 23, 2006, 06:37:21 PM »

Id say yes and no.
Unfortunately, I cant orgasm during sex.. the only way I can is through masturbation. With that being said, I can only get off if watching porn... which sucks because that could  mean that Im hurting my potential to get off during sex.
So in this case yes...
as for sex toys, I wouldn't know..  Im all about the natural stuff.
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« Reply #2 on: March 23, 2006, 07:29:34 PM »

Id say yes and no.
Unfortunately, I cant orgasm during sex.. the only way I can is through masturbation. With that being said, I can only get off if watching porn... which sucks because that could  mean that Im hurting my potential to get off during sex.
So in this case yes...
as for sex toys, I wouldn't know..  Im all about the natural stuff.

you need to see a psychologist. that is a serious problem that needs to be addressed.
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wes mantooth
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« Reply #3 on: March 23, 2006, 07:37:10 PM »

Today on Michael Baisden Radio Show (the author of Maintenance Man, Men Cry in the Dark and other books) the topic was sex toys. There was a woman who called in , "Asia", who was addicted to her "Bullet" sex toy. She uses it everyday, and says no man can compare to her "Bullet" ( no man's hands, tongue, penis can move as fast). The question was, do you think sex toys can mess up a a relationship ( I guess for men its porn). Or can it  prevent a woman from having a meaningful relationship with a man?

We should be glad fully operational androids (pleasurebots) have not been invented yet  Grin 

i think you will find plenty more people in relationships that use sex toys on occasion and are normal functioning adults. i think there are SOME individuals that have problems like the one you stated above, typically it is based upon mental blockages, and the lack of comfort the individual feels with their partner. there are plenty of people (typically women) that say "i cant get off from sex...or oral sex" or whatever. they say things like, men cant do it right...blah blah blah. now, there are alot of men that simply cant perform well in the sack, but very few cases are physical problems with women. 
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Dina
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« Reply #4 on: March 23, 2006, 09:20:15 PM »

I think that orgasm for many women is hard to achieve. A sex toy can help them achieve that as it provides more stimulus. I dont see why one cannot include their partner when using the toy... especially the bullet. It can be used to stimulate the clitoris while having sex in so many positions. If it makes your partner orgasm over and over again..and allows both to have fun.. why the heck not.
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slippediskmountian
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« Reply #5 on: March 23, 2006, 09:39:28 PM »

I think that orgasm for many women is hard to achieve.

im not so sure about that ... off the top of my head i can only think of 1 girl who absolutely couldnt cum from sex .... others ive been with wouldnt cum all the time, but most of it (unless they are lying) ... but i dont have any problems with toys personally and it would be very sexy for me to c a chick gettin off on it!
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« Reply #6 on: March 23, 2006, 10:02:29 PM »

im not so sure about that ... off the top of my head i can only think of 1 girl who absolutely couldnt cum from sex .... others ive been with wouldnt cum all the time, but most of it (unless they are lying) ... but i dont have any problems with toys personally and it would be very sexy for me to c a chick gettin off on it!
Interesting as I personally know over 10 women who canot cum from sex alone, and I know about 5 who have never had an orgasm. If you look at the studies, it shows that a few women are dysfunctional... I will look for percentages tomorrow
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slippediskmountian
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« Reply #7 on: March 23, 2006, 10:26:17 PM »

welll you probably know alot more women than i do and i bet they would be more honest with u than the girls i fuck would be with me, i often get the impression girls are "hamming it up" in bed to make me feel like a stud (not knowing that i really could care less, i would rather be told i suck if thats the case) ... although i can usually feel them "spasm"/contract when they cum

i will say that i believe attitude plays a huge role in how much they get from it ... the less uptight they are the more they enjoy it
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DIVISION
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« Reply #8 on: March 24, 2006, 01:38:07 AM »

Id say yes and no.
Unfortunately, I cant orgasm during sex.. the only way I can is through masturbation. With that being said, I can only get off if watching porn... which sucks because that could  mean that Im hurting my potential to get off during sex.
So in this case yes...
as for sex toys, I wouldn't know..  Im all about the natural stuff.

I'm down with Wesley on this.

You've got issues that have nothing to do with sex, and alot to do with intimacy.  Many women who can't orgasm with their partner simply aren't relaxing because subconsciously they don't trust another person enough to lower their inhibitions and just let go.

Of course this hinders a relationship.  What man is going to stay with you realizing full well you can only orgasm through masturbation?  It's a matter of trust.

Per the original post, I'm pretty picky as far as what I'll allow in the bedroom and what I won't.  I don't like toys, they bring a "gimmick" type feeling to sex that I find distasteful.  If a woman wants to play with toys, there's no reason to have sex with me.  I'm all about skin on skin, nothing else.  Some things I don't compromise on with sex.....this is one of those. 

 


DIV
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« Reply #9 on: March 24, 2006, 06:03:20 AM »

some stats from clitical.com

Percentage of people who orgasm every time they have sex:
Men: 75
Women: 29


" Intercourse isn't the primary way to achieve orgasm for most women. Only around 30% can orgasm this way. Most women need additional stimulation, such as clitoral stimulation in order to orgasm.

" When it comes to having orgasms:
42% of women usually have orgasms during sex with their partner.
29% always have an orgasm during sex.
25% sometimes or rarely have orgasms.
4% of women in America are not orgasmic with their partner.

" According to femaleorgasmsecrets.com, when a lady has difficulty achieving orgasm these are the highest reported causes:
28% - She wasn't in the mood
27% - She was too stressed
24% - There was a lack of foreplay
21% - Partner's lack of response

" According to one study, around 26% of women have consistent trouble in reaching orgasm, as opposed to only 2.5% of men.

" Less than 8% of ladies have an orgasm during their first intercourse.

" According to sociologist, Michel Bozon, vaginal penetration orgasms are more difficult to achieve in the beginning of a relationship. They become easier to achieve after 5-10 years, and become more difficult again after a couple has been together for around 15 years.

" Some experts claim that the opportunity for orgasm may be greater for the lady if you make love on the 14th day of her menstrual cycle, when her sex drive is reportedly at its highest.

" In an online poll at Glamour.com, women were asked, "Do you need extra stimulation to orgasm?" 1,500 ladies answered as follows:
I need "a hand": 38%
I can do it just from intercourse: 28%
I need oral sex: 21%
Other: 10%
I need a vibrator: 3%



http://www.clitical.com/orgasms/orgasm-facts.php

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Parker
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« Reply #10 on: March 24, 2006, 06:10:03 AM »

When I was listening to "Asia", she said, if she could marry "the Bullet" she would. She says she talks to, and such. I felt  that she had some serious issues, and of course on the radio you can't tell how attractive/fat she is. But she says she doesn't have a man, what can she do. Find one damn it. But she is sooo attached to a piece of metal and plastic.

As far as women not climaxing from  vaginal sex, how many of these women tell their partners versus thpose who just go along with the act. I think it all comes down to communication....
If you want to include toys, I'm all for it...but no piece of plastic is gonna replace me.
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« Reply #11 on: March 24, 2006, 07:02:11 AM »

My girlfriend usually has multiple orgasms, and i think usually she can cum like 5 or 6 times in a period of 30 minutes...
 But i myself suffer from the oposite!!! there are times when im too much excited so i cum a little fast, but usually even feeling a lot of pleasure i can only cum after 40, 50 minutes or more...A lot of times i have to 'manually' estimulate myself to have a orgasm...
 At the beginning i was a little worried about that, but now i even like it...my girlfriend have a lot of pleasure and me too...i just take some time to actually cum...
 After all, its a lot better than have a orgasm in like 3 minutes and make you girl frustated!
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« Reply #12 on: March 24, 2006, 07:10:26 AM »

Figuring out the 'puzzle' is part of the fun!!  Women all have different turn-ons.. just need to take your time and sort it out...

Oral is definitely the way to go, but it has to be done right!!!  Watch lesbian videos for tips.

I think guys who think they're being cheated on by a vibrator are missing the point - these can & should be used together, and if the guy won't go for it, no wonder the gal is 'seeing' the device on the side.  Same with porn.  If gals would only embrace it, we could all enjoy it together in a healthy way!! 
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sinbad
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« Reply #13 on: March 24, 2006, 07:23:42 AM »

Interesting as I personally know over 10 women who canot cum from sex alone, and I know about 5 who have never had an orgasm. If you look at the studies, it shows that a few women are dysfunctional... I will look for percentages tomorrow

Dina, the issue of course is clitoral stimulation during intercourse. Many women have difficulty having an orgasm without clitoral stimulation during intercourse, which is no big deal. Now, as Div points out if they do not feel comfortable enough with their partner to talk about this it is an issue with the relationship. The Clitoris and the female orgasm are complicated things, but with communication, patience, and a little creativity, they can be conquered, so to speak Grin
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slippediskmountian
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« Reply #14 on: March 24, 2006, 07:40:11 AM »

i think this thread proves one thing



















im a total stud!
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« Reply #15 on: March 24, 2006, 09:39:10 AM »

Gotta attend to the clit and G-spot at the same time.... attack simultaneously on two fronts, like Patton. 
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slippediskmountian
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« Reply #16 on: March 24, 2006, 09:45:59 AM »

i prefer to sneak in the back door


























like hannibal!
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SolDat
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« Reply #17 on: March 24, 2006, 10:59:43 AM »

some stats from clitical.com


" Some experts claim that the opportunity for orgasm may be greater for the lady if you make love on the 14th day of her menstrual cycle, when her sex drive is reportedly at its highest. "


Someone needs to make a fuccking T-shirt.
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« Reply #18 on: March 24, 2006, 11:01:14 AM »

so silly!

Yes communication is key. I will also say that some women just need a lot of stimulation (yours truly)  and it is not that I do not communicate but I feel pad for my partner just because it takes me a LOT longer.. so in those instances a vibe can be a life saver. I do not think a vibe will ever replace a partner..at least for me.. but it can add some fun. Again.. I would not want to use it everytime.. just some times
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slippediskmountian
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« Reply #19 on: March 24, 2006, 11:03:25 AM »


Someone needs to make a fuccking T-shirt.

thats actually quite true ... my friend has told me over the years he noticed his fuck friends will call him up when they are ovulating like clockwork
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« Reply #20 on: March 24, 2006, 11:20:45 AM »

I have been very "Lucky" knock on wood. Because the women that I have been with, even the one-night stands were able to achieve climax through intercourse. My theory expressed to them is this, I don't need the theatrics, and such, and if you want to be pleased you need to let me know what you like as well as dislikes.
 I have always wanted my performance to be good so that if there was never a repeat it wouldn't be because of my performance. I get-off intensely by knowing that I am pleasing the woman who I am with

 I have always tried to get women to communicate their wishes and desires. Mi-Espousa cums at the drop of a hat Smiley Smiley I guess it is the communication and attraction, plus love that we have for each other. We have used toys on rare occasions just to do somethingelse.

I had a co-worker who was your typical beach bunny, but she said that she could only climax through masterbation. She said that her issue was based on not being comfortable with her body.  Huh Huh
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sinbad
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« Reply #21 on: March 24, 2006, 11:41:45 AM »

so silly!

Yes communication is key. I will also say that some women just need a lot of stimulation (yours truly)  and it is not that I do not communicate but I feel pad for my partner just because it takes me a LOT longer.. so in those instances a vibe can be a life saver. I do not think a vibe will ever replace a partner..at least for me.. but it can add some fun. Again.. I would not want to use it everytime.. just some times


Yes Dina, it can be frustrating, as I have been on the other end of someone like you, and the important things is to realize that everyone is different and responds differently to stimulation. If you can understand and believe this and not let your ego get in the way, both people can be very satisfied. It is very easy for the guy to say, "hey none of my other girlfriends were like this, what is wrong with you", when in reality nothing is wrong with anyone, just respond differently. I would guess alot of guys believe the women they are with are getting off, when they probably are not. After the sex the guy says, " I fucked the shit out of her, she came like 5 times, I am the man" and the women says, " He really thinks he is a stud, but he doesn't know shit about how to handle the pussy" It is a generalization, but likely happens more then you think.
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« Reply #22 on: March 24, 2006, 12:29:24 PM »

I'm down with Wesley on this.

You've got issues that have nothing to do with sex, and alot to do with intimacy.  Many women who can't orgasm with their partner simply aren't relaxing because subconsciously they don't trust another person enough to lower their inhibitions and just let go.

Of course this hinders a relationship.  What man is going to stay with you realizing full well you can only orgasm through masturbation?  It's a matter of trust.

Per the original post, I'm pretty picky as far as what I'll allow in the bedroom and what I won't.  I don't like toys, they bring a "gimmick" type feeling to sex that I find distasteful.  If a woman wants to play with toys, there's no reason to have sex with me.  I'm all about skin on skin, nothing else.  Some things I don't compromise on with sex.....this is one of those. 

 


DIV

Uhm.. what?!
I have never been able to get off with any partner I've been with. and for the record, I know a number of women who can't orgasm, and a bunch who can. It depends on the person as far as I can tell.
As for the person i'm currently with, what you said may be true to a certain extent. However, we havent had 'full out' animalistic sex in months--we do it under the roof of his parents house. needless to say its bang, boom, done. boorrriiiinnng..
I wish I had the $$$ to get a hotel every damn weekend.
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« Reply #23 on: March 24, 2006, 02:14:31 PM »

I have nevver used a sex toy in any of my relationships.  I know my girlfriend would freak if I even mentioned the idea.  She is not very vocal about sex.  She also has a difficult time having an orgasm from intercourse.  We have a very nice solution.  She can orgasm very quickly by me using my fingers.  This drives her completely insane...in a good way.  I always make her climax before we even have sex.  I am a typical guy...as long as I cum I am happy.  But now I love it when my girlfriend is writhing around the bed JUST from me using my hand.  It is quite a sight to behold.  She will orgasm multiple times after her first.  The sex is awesome because her whole goal after her orgasm is to make me cum.  Maybe try this to make sure it is good for her.
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Parker
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« Reply #24 on: March 24, 2006, 02:24:39 PM »

What about those little little tongue vibrators (saw them on ebay), you know the one's the guy puts on his tongue to stimulate the clit. Anybody try those? Dina? Sexy?
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