Dude you need to simplify your life and figure out the things that truly give you happiness in life, I learned this early in life, I come from a very wealthy family, my dad owns a very successful business that has been in my family since 1940, growing up and working with my dad in my teens molded my entire outlook on life, my dad is not a happy person, has millions, yet is stressed out to the maximum since I can remember. I knew I wanted no part of that life, in college I had to take a religion course as a prerec, I ended up taking a Buddhism course, this was another thing that completely changed my life, in Buddhism they preach being "non judgemental" amongst other things, I started apply this to my life, stopped competing with others, judging others, and just did shit that I enjoyed and you know what it worked. I stopped giving a fuck what anyone thought and just did shit I enjoyed, at first I was criticized, by family and friends, especially after college seeing that my tuition was just over $100,000 and I decided not to even enter the field of marketing (which I got my degree in) and just continue to bartend, which I got into my senior year of college. This job may be looked at as a joke, yet to me it was amazing, I get paid to have fun talk and meet people and bang chicks lol. I get to train everyday, sleep in, cook all my meals, nap and turns out I was making more money they all my friends I went to school with and only working 4 days a week tops. With the money I made from bartending I've been able to invest in property and in the stock market, and my other passion in life is traveling, especially to tropical destinations, so what did I do next get a job bartending on a cruiseship, that allows me to go to the beach everyday, meet passengers and crew from all over the world, eat for free, train, compete, and again bang unlimited girls. It may not be the most prestigious occupation to other people, but to me I'm enjoying life to the fullest.
i know your story man, and its impressive for sure. you were perceptive growing up and could translate it into what you wanted to do. me, like many others, do the college, career thing and before you know it you have a house, mortage, and wife (and soon kids). its almost like you wake and realize where you are at 26 your like "whoa where did the last 8 years ago, what am i doing, am i happy with this? well tough shit your in it now".
either way, not exactly the point of my thread but i think you are right about the buddhism stuff. i might actually look into that. moral of my post, i feel like im becoming a resentful, hateful, asshole and im not sure why. Just dumb day to day life stuff gets me down, or annoyed, etc. like a person takes a selfie and doesnt care im in the pic, or someone doesnt hold the door for me, or some idiot is disrespectful to a cashier or server, or i have a big pimple on my face, will like set me off and make me upset. trivial stuff that most happy people would ignore...
one thing ive noticed about me is i have a great family and parents and brothers, etc. but i only worry about myself snd think about how things affect me. this is very unhealthy i think, and ive been selfish for so long
. i have a kid on the way, so while i was anti kid for a while, i think this might actually be very good for me in terms of where i focus my attention and efforts