Money Launder $1M. GO!

[robcguns]

Burden of proof lies with you, the cops seize assets of criminals all the time, if they cant justify were they got the money to buy it they dont get it back

If cops pulled you over in the car with a lot of cash they would expect you to be able to tell them how you came about it, telling them to fuck off wouldnt cut it.

I knew a guy years ago he had 3 cars seized, Range Rover, Sierra Cosworth, cant remember the other


Cops said how did you afford them, he said "keep them, I will get some more" 

Ive been audited four times now, my lawyer smoked them. They could t prove a god damn thing.

I like that last line,”keep them I will get some more” haha.

[robcguns]

Flip a house and use cash to pay for the renovations. Pay the contractors in cash. Restore an old car, pay for all of it in cash. Sell the car when done.

Yeah it’s all pretty easy shit.

[joswift]

Ive been aufmdited four times now, my lawyer smoked them. They could t prove a god damn thing.

because you could account for the money,

if you work and get paid in cash then its fine, My wages go straight in the bank, I would struggle justifying a large cash sum I had if it hadnt come from a legit source

[Sandrock]

Ive been audited four times now, my lawyer smoked them. They could t prove a god damn thing.

I like that last line,”keep them I will get some more” haha.

Hankins, Esq?

[robcguns]

Hankins, Esq?

Hahaha I will say when it comes to the irs,dor and cops I have no respect. I show them none whatsoever and I say whatever I like to them and it seems to work. When you truly don’t give a fuck nothing matters.

[robcguns]

because you could account for the money,

if you work and get paid in cash then its fine, My wages go straight in the bank, I would struggle justifying a large cash sum I had if it hadnt come from a legit source

I’d say half my money is gambling and buying and selling things cash wise. I usually claim around 150k on tax returns give or take, yet they said you have over 100k in withdrawals at the casino. My answer was yeah I do. I say find it,show it,prove it. They usually move on to some bigger fish. I’m no big fish, you give them enough things to fact check and they don’t even bother. They move on. I’m not saying one day they won’t bury me but I’m pretty good at this shit.

[LurkerNoMore]

If the bartenders get paid in cash but live in a fancy house, how can they prove how they bought the house? And they would have to deposit the cash into accounts. Where did all this cash come from? They might get away with it and never receive an IRS audit. But they could get caught as well. It's not a sure bet.

No they don't live in fancy houses.  Usually a roommate situation or with their parents.  They realize they can't work a job where they are on their feet all day (or night) long and deal with drunks.  So they are hording away for a nest egg later.  My friend says that about 40% of the bartenders he hires are going through nursing programs and such.  Once they graduate, they leave. 

[GymnJuice]

Start a charity that accepts anonymous cash donations, then pay yourself a hefty salary as the head of the organization.

I think a lot of these so-called "charities" funnel more money into their own pockets than toward the actual cause. I've seen them throw extravagant fundraisers in fancy event halls which are owned by the same people who donate large sums and then charge for the venue. It's one big circle jerk. I think there's shady stuff going on behind the scenes under the guise of "charity" while they collect paychecks and dodge taxes.

[falco]

Flip a house and use cash to pay for the renovations. Pay the contractors in cash. Restore an old car, pay for all of it in cash. Sell the car when done.

Renovations and cars are moneypits. Maybe not the best investment.

[Raymondo]

Renovations and cars are moneypits. Maybe not the best investment.

Agreed on cars, but how is a renovation a money pit? It can considerably increase the value of the asset.

[Wiggs]

How do you go back to FIAT? Via local methods? Now you decide to buy a house or car. ISR agent wants to know where the money came from to buy the car or house. If you say the local Monero guy it won't go over well.

Once you obtain btc or monero you tumble it. A little at a time.  Now you have untraceable crypto that you've been holding since forever that you finally want to cash out.

[Wiggs]

Here are some ideas:

https://www.tookitaki.com/blog/5-methods-that-modern-money-launderers-use-to-beat-detection

Traditional Money Laundering Techniques

Common money laundering techniques include the following:

Structuring or Smurfing
Smurfing involves breaking down large amounts of money into smaller, less suspicious amounts. These small sums are then deposited separately to avoid drawing attention.

Shell Companies
Shell Companies are fake companies set up purely to handle money. On paper, they might seem like they're offering a service or product, but in reality, they roexist just to move money around without drawing suspicion.

Offshore Accounts
Criminals stash their illegal earnings in foreign banks. This way, the money is away from prying eyes and under different regulations, making it hard to trace.

Real-Estate Laundering
Buying property with illicit money is another method. Once bought, the property can be sold, turning the 'dirty' money into 'clean' profit from the sale.

Casino Laundering
Gamblers use illicit funds to buy casino chips, play for a bit, and then convert the chips back to money, making it seem like genuine gambling winnings.

Gambling
Using illicit money to gamble online or offline and then claiming the proceeds as genuine gambling winnings.

Bank Laundering
Sometimes even banks are involved, either willingly or unknowingly. Large transactions are disguised as genuine business deals, hiding the illicit origins.

Trade-Based Laundering
This involves over or under-invoicing for goods and services. By manipulating prices, money launderers can move money across borders without suspicion.

Cash Smuggling
As simple as it sounds, this is just physically moving cash to a different location, often across borders.

Front Companies
These are genuine businesses that also deal with illegal funds. They blend legal and illegal money to make everything seem legitimate.

Round Tripping
Money is sent out of a country and then quickly sent back, disguised as foreign investment, thus appearing clean.

Digital Money Laundering Methods

As technology advances, so do the methods criminals use. The digital age has given rise to a set of new money laundering techniques, many revolving around the internet and cryptocurrencies. Some of the modern money laundering techniques include:

Cryptocurrency Mixing or Tumbling
Criminals use services that mix potentially identifiable cryptocurrency funds with others, making it difficult to track them.

Layering through Cryptocurrencies
Just like smurfing but in the digital world. Small crypto transactions are made to mask the actual amount being transferred.

Read More: Money Laundering via Cryptocurrencies: All You Need to Know

Peer-to-Peer (P2P) Exchanges
These are platforms where one can buy or sell cryptocurrencies directly with other individuals, often without needing to provide personal information.

Privacy Coins
Some cryptocurrencies, like Monero or ZCash, are designed to be private and untraceable. They're perfect for those wanting to hide their transactions.

Shell Companies with Cryptocurrency Accounts
Combining the old with the new: shell companies now sometimes deal solely in cryptocurrencies, making detection even harder.

Online Gambling
Just like traditional gambling but online. Criminals use illegal funds to play online games or bet, then withdraw their 'winnings,' making the money appear legitimate.

Initial Coin Offerings (ICOs) and Token Sales
Criminals invest illicit money into new cryptocurrency startups. Once the tokens or coins increase in value, they sell them, turning the illicit funds into genuine investment returns.

Microtransactions
Tiny digital transactions, especially in online games or apps, can be used to move money without raising suspicions. By making thousands of these small transactions, significant amounts can be laundered.

Digital Payment Platforms
Platforms like PayPal or other online payment systems can be used to move money. By disguising transfers as genuine payments for goods or services, illicit funds can be hidden.

Dark Web Marketplaces
The hidden parts of the internet, known as the Dark Web, have marketplaces where illegal items, from drugs to weapons, are sold. Money can be laundered through these platforms, often using cryptocurrencies.

Digital Art and NFTs
Recent trends include buying digital art or NFTs (non-fungible tokens) with illicit funds. Once their value increases, they can be sold, making the money appear as legal earnings from investments.

Online Marketplaces
Sites like eBay or Amazon can be used to sell items at inflated prices to move money. By buying these overpriced items, criminals can transfer money without raising suspicion.

Digital Identity Theft
This involves stealing someone's online identity to conduct financial transactions, thus diverting the attention from the actual perpetrator.

Blockchain Anonymizers
Services that help in making blockchain transactions anonymous, further complicating the tracing process.

This is a great post.

[Wiggs]

Sell yourself stuff Ebay greatly marking up the price. Set up po boxes in various cities.  Let's say 10. Use those as the return addresses. Sell "rare" power tools...Pokémon cards whatever. Sell it to yourself. Money will be put on temp debit cards to pay for the imaginary goods. They money is washed through ebay. You will have to pay taxes though for the amount flowing through Ebay.


My local BTC and Monero idea followed by tumbling is the best. You never have it on you.  All you need is your digital keys.

[longtimereader]

When the IRS audits someone for suspected tax evasion / money laundering, not only do they look at what you bought (high purchases like vacations, tv/audio, cars, jewelry, etc..) but they also look at what you have NOT bought.  If you are paying for your gas, food, dining out, etc.. with cash.. then your bank statements will not show any purchases for those items.   So then you wind up getting questions like "does your car run on water?", "how come you so fat for someone that hasn't bought groceries or food in three months", etc...   Remember a paper trail can help you just as much as it hurts you.

Buy a box of ramen noodles and a bigmac once per week on your debit card.

[Brenda Steunbeer]

Only 1 million dollars?

Well, you should have gone to TD Bank

https://www.cnbc.com/2024/10/10/td-bank-3-billion-fine-doj-settle-money-laundering-drug-cartel.html

[LurkerNoMore]

Only 1 million dollars?

Well, you should have gone to TD Bank

https://www.cnbc.com/2024/10/10/td-bank-3-billion-fine-doj-settle-money-laundering-drug-cartel.html

Hahahahhaa

[MajorDomo]

When I lived in Rochester NY a not very close friend of mine, Albert Ranieri, was involved in one of the biggest Brinks truck robberies in history. You can find all about it online.

https://spectrumlocalnews.com/nys/rochester/news/2024/04/16/albert-ranieri--armored-truck-heist-driver-and-convicted-murderer--released-from-prison

I knew Albert because we were both racing cyclists.

What is interesting is how Albert tried to hide or get rid of the money that was his share. He was being tailed by the FBI for a while and he got so scared he actually started burning it in a fire pit behind his house, lol. The rest he tried laundering with a local lawyer, also a sleaze like Albert. Unfortunately for Albert he ended up doing a hit for the lawyer and ended up in prison- only to be released this April.

[irishdave]

You buy from a private sale. Cash is exchanged all the time as are the sale prices altered from the actual. Down here I sold a 100k car and wrote down 8k for the registration slip, no issues at all.

I sold a car for cash and had the guy come to my bank with me and deposit it into my account so it could be verified as legit. Zero issues. If the seller accepts cash it becomes their problem not yours, you bought the car for for 10k remember?

Sellers need to be wary of this stuff, not the buyer. The buyer is squeaky clean. Perhaps the seller will use the cash to pay for another car? Holiday? Renovations etc. don’t overthink it.

Listen you little wannabe

I am involved in the car trade and if someone comes in with more than 8k cash it’s likely they’ll call the cops

Oh yeah private sale from. Random dude who definitely won’t talk hah
Little bitch

Edit: just breaking balls but dealers will call cops on you they’re told to here anyway…

[obsidian]

never had a receipt from a barbers in my life

But did they have a receipt? The barber might not give you one, that doesn't mean he does not have one. I go to a franchise and sometimes pay for a haircut in cash. Other times with a credit card. I never take a receipt from them but they have one on their system. Coffee places will sometimes ask me if I want the receipt. I say no. But they have it in their system since I used a card.

[irishdave]

But did they have a receipt? The barber might not give you one, that doesn't mean he does not have one. I go to a franchise and sometimes pay for a haircut in cash. Other times with a credit card. I never take a receipt from them but they have one on their system. Coffee places will sometimes ask me if I want the receipt. I say no. But they have it in their system since I used a card.

Usually they (barbers) don’t even have card machines in Ireland…not enforced. Hmmmm

[obsidian]

Usually they (barbers) don’t even have card machines in Ireland…not enforced. Hmmmm

They will have some form of book keeping to appear legit. They can launder some money but need to appear legit to the taxing authorities.

[obsidian]

Sell yourself stuff Ebay greatly marking up the price. Set up po boxes in various cities.  Let's say 10. Use those as the return addresses. Sell "rare" power tools...Pokémon cards whatever. Sell it to yourself. Money will be put on temp debit cards to pay for the imaginary goods. They money is washed through ebay. You will have to pay taxes though for the amount flowing through Ebay.


My local BTC and Monero idea followed by tumbling is the best. You never have it on you.  All you need is your digital keys.

What if you're someone who does not have a lot of stuff to "sell" and find a suitcase with $1 million? What if you want to keep the "rare" power tools?

Your local Monero idea is interesting. But you may encounter shady characters intent on robbing instead of selling Monero. And how do you eventually convert the Monero to cash. And doing so means you just jumped from cash to Monero to cash and achieved nothing.

The goal is to transform / launder the $1 million into $1 million taxable income. Perhaps over 10-20 years. So $50,000-100,000 taxable yearly income.

Once this is done you can do anything you want with that money. Buy a house, car, etc. You have the tax filings to show how you earned and paid for it.

[longtimereader]

The goal is to transform / launder the $1 million into $1 million taxable income. Perhaps over 10-20 years. So $50,000-100,000 taxable yearly income.

I own a business, could easily buy 100k per year in raw supplies/materials in cash to increase the business taxable income if that's the goal

[irishdave]

They will have some form of book keeping to appear legit. They can launder some money but need to appear legit to the taxing authorities.

Yes the female clients are put on the books

[oldtimer1]

Just like the mob you don't flash your money.  No fancy cars or houses.  Live small. Spend the money slowly.  It would be nice if you could invest the whole one million to live off the capital gains. You can't do that with illegal money unless you're a politician.  Then off shore non disclosure bank accounts are the way to go. Find a straw person to contribute the money under different names as campaign contributions. Campaign contributions and Foundations have very weak accounting rules that can be exploited. A foundation you can pay yourself as the head of the foundation any amount you want.  You can use the money for travel, hotels, diners and building under the guise of running the foundation. Campaign contributions can be used for so many things that no federal law enforcement questions. Including no show well paid staff, travel, food, hotels and buildings.