Again you clearly train and are in shape yourself so the real question is why the self hate and loathing do you not value your own goals and journey?
Training is a part of my life. I did it, in the beginning, to help with sports and now I do it to enhance the quality of my life. Working out and exercising has never been the be-all and end-all of my life. I never considered trying to get big muscles as a "righteous quest." I could never be that shallow, vapid, and soulless.
You have been handed a privileged life of leisure and luxury and you've chosen as the main purpose in your life to stuff yourself with food, weighed yourself twice a day, lift weights, and stare at yourself in the mirror flexing your muscles. At 43 years old you still have the priorities of a teenager. But that's what happens when you are taken care of. You don't have to grow up. Everything you want and need is handed to you on a silver platter. And to think you actually are raising a child.
You never answered my question. After you get the big muscles you so desire. And with enough training, GH, hormones, and eating -- all easily within your grasp -- then what?
