Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.

[Phantom Spunker]

Too much coffee?

I wouldn't have thought so. I've been drinking it since I was a child and only average around 4 cups per day. The doctor has given me Oxybutynin to try, but the common side effects (e.g. reduced ability to sweat) wouldn't be good for me just now, so I'm not taking it. I've had frequent headaches for years, so me pissing all the time is probably linked to cognitive decline or a brain tumor, knowing my luck.

[Phantom Spunker]

I'd like to collaborate with Vince B and utilize his mechanical knowledge to help me invent a hydraulic reacher-grabber tool fitted with a flywheel inside the jaws. We would then attach this to the front of my car and use it to clasp on to the rear wheel of any loser cyclist I encounter on the roads. I would then be able to accelerate them up to unimaginable speeds before I release it and send them hurling towards their untimely demise.

[Humble Narcissist]

I'd like to collaborate with Vince B and utilize his mechanical knowledge to help me invent a hydraulic reacher-grabber tool fitted with a flywheel inside the jaws. We would then attach this to the front of my car and use it to clasp on to the rear wheel of any loser cyclist I encounter on the roads. I would then be able to accelerate them up to unimaginable speeds before I release it and send them hurling towards their untimely demise.

I'm surprised more cyclists aren't killed. I would never feel safe riding a bike in traffic.

[Phantom Spunker]

I'm surprised more cyclists aren't killed. I would never feel safe riding a bike in traffic.

It's dangerous as hell and most of them are fucking idiots dressed up like glow-in-the-dark condoms. I'd like to make cycling illegal on public roads. Where I'm from, riding a bicycle as an adult was always the ultimate sign of being a loser. Only junkies do it because they have no other options, lol. Those of them on B-roads only have themselves to blame when they get knocked off. It would be almost impossible to miss them at certain points on a bendy road.

[Phantom Spunker]

I'm absolutely sick of flying. I've never liked it and I really almost lost my temper with a fat Russian cunt and his stupid screaming kid today. No one could rest because of his booming, retard voice, and then his mongoloid child started screaming its head off for the next hour. Kids under the age of five shouldn't even be allowed on planes. Just fuck off.

[Humble Narcissist]

It's dangerous as hell and most of them are fucking idiots dressed up like glow-in-the-dark condoms. I'd like to make cycling illegal on public roads. Where I'm from, riding a bicycle as an adult was always the ultimate sign of being a loser. Only junkies do it because they have no other options, lol. Those of them on B-roads only have themselves to blame when they get knocked off. It would be almost impossible to miss them at certain points on a bendy road.

I agree.

[Humble Narcissist]

I'm absolutely sick of flying. I've never liked it and I really almost lost my temper with a fat Russian cunt and his stupid screaming kid today. No one could rest because of his booming, retard voice, and then his mongoloid child started screaming its head off for the next hour. Kids under the age of five shouldn't even be allowed on planes. Just fuck off.

I agree again. I have a problem with "exploding ears syndrome" (I don't know the medical term) on flights that can last for days afterwards so I always hated flying anyway. Now I just hate traveling period, even driving for more than a half hour or so. Just wasted time.

[Phantom Spunker]

I agree again. I have a problem with "exploding ears syndrome" (I don't know the medical term) on flights that can last for days afterwards so I always hated flying anyway. Now I just hate traveling period, even driving for more than a half hour or so. Just wasted time.

That's your Eustachian tubes. A friend I used to dive with developed it. I had to have my inner ear rebuilt and have the opposite problem now: they pop all the time. I just have to move my jaw slightly and my ears pop. It's annoying as hell.

[Humble Narcissist]

That's your Eustachian tubes. A friend I used to dive with developed it. I had to have my inner ear rebuilt and have the opposite problem now: they pop all the time. I just have to move my jaw slightly and my ears pop. It's annoying as hell.

I'll bet it is.

[Phantom Spunker]

Feels like my life is over now that I've finished The Sopranos. I don't know what to do with myself in the evenings. I wish the Lord would take me.

[Grape Ape]

Feels like my life is over now that I've finished The Sopranos. I don't know what to do with myself in the evenings. I wish the Lord would take me.

Breaking Bad
Battlestar Galactica reboot
The Shield
Mr. Robot

You can fill the void.

[AbrahamG]

Feels like my life is over now that I've finished The Sopranos. I don't know what to do with myself in the evenings. I wish the Lord would take me.

Gotta check out Mr. Inbetween.  It's an Australian television show that aired over here in the states on FX.  It's really fucking good. 

[Phantom Spunker]

Thanks, gents. I annoy the hell out of myself by being so picky and always assuming everything is shit. The Shield and Mr. Inbetween look pretty decent, though. Worth a try.

[Phantom Spunker]

Watched the new John Wick last night. Taking it for what it is, it was pretty good. The best of the bunch due to the music and cinematography being cool. Donnie Yen was a poor choice as the token Chinaman, though. He looked and acted so much like Mr. Chow that it just made things funny. Also, there was no point at all in adding the new Black guy with the dog, unless it's specifically to have a John Woke spinoff franchise, which is what I suspect will happen now.

[Humble Narcissist]

Watched the new John Wick last night. Taking it for what it is, it was pretty good. The best of the bunch due to the music and cinematography being cool. Donnie Yen was a poor choice as the token Chinaman, though. He looked and acted so much like Mr. Chow that it just made things funny. Also, there was no point at all in adding the new Black guy with the dog, unless it's specifically to have a John Woke spinoff franchise, which is what I suspect will happen now.

Isn't Keanu a Chinaman?

[Phantom Spunker]

Isn't Keanu a Chinaman?

Fuck knows; he's weird enough to be. Probably just does the typical American thing and claims he's Chinese because his great, great granddad once shagged a Nanjing comfort woman.

[Humble Narcissist]

Fuck knows; he's weird enough to be. Probably just does the typical American thing and claims he's Chinese because his great, great granddad once shagged a Nanjing comfort woman.

His dad was part chink.

[Phantom Spunker]

That stupid little bastard Hasbulla just got me banned from YouTube again. I'd love to punt him off a cliff. YouTube can fuck off now; that's the 5th time they've done me for so-called cyberbullying just for having an opinion! I literally dindu nuffin.

[Humble Narcissist]

That stupid little bastard Hasbulla just got me banned from YouTube again. I'd love to punt him off a cliff. YouTube can fuck off now; that's the 5th time they've done me for so-called cyberbullying just for having an opinion! I literally dindu nuffin.

What was your opinion?

[Phantom Spunker]

What was your opinion?

I said I'd like to pick Hasbulla up and throw him into a fire after recent footage emerged of him punching his cat in the face. It's not like I'm lying, though.

[AbrahamG]

I said I'd like to pick Hasbulla up and throw him into a fire after recent footage emerged of him punching his cat in the face. It's not like I'm lying, though.

I'd like to give him Derby's Dose for punching his cat.

[Taffin]

I'd like to give him Derby's Dose for punching his cat.

OKaaaaaay.... I'll just go ahead and add that to the list of things I wish I'd never Googled... ... ...

[AbrahamG]

OKaaaaaay.... I'll just go ahead and add that to the list of things I wish I'd never Googled... ... ...

Fucked up shit, right?  Even for getbig. 

[Phantom Spunker]

Fucked up shit, right?  Even for getbig.

Made me LOL when I googled it. I'd actually rather take a hit of the ol' Derby's Dose than some of the other punishments they had to endure. I was laughing when reading YouTube comments and people were claiming it was the worst. I'd rather have a steamy mouthful of shit any day than get whipped half to death.

[Humble Narcissist]

Realised last night that I was driving myself mad for years trying to unpack vague ideas that had already been explored and articulated brilliantly by Kant. If I read more instead of trolled the internet, I'd have been much less stressed.

I hate the fucking internet, actually. It just seems to make me more pessimistic. Hate being on it. Hate procrastinating and writing shit on here and YouTube instead of trying to accomplish things. It's a terrible habit that I need to break. A twenty-year ban would be nice. I'd like to make just one contribution to the arts before I die - even if it's utterly shit - but I'll never actually get around to it at this rate. I wish someone would just lock me in a shed and only open the doors to bring food and let the occasional floozy in for a conjugal visit.

Knowing my luck, my only contribution will be this shit thread about Down's syndromes, AIDS, fat slags, and acrotomophilia.

What will contributing accomplish? We are all just passing time.