Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.

[Taffin]

I currently have the worst chicken legs of all time. I'm not really sure what to do about this. Perhaps huge amounts of bodyweight squats, but it might be easier just to commit suicide.

I guarantee you that they're not as bad as you think they are - dysmorphia is a helluva thing

While we're on the subject of legs, funnily enough, that thread where peeps are giving bhanky shit about his 405 squat has made me pick up the pace a little - did front squats this week for the first time in ages - wicked DOMS too LOL - true story

[Phantom Spunker]

My stupid fucking trousers must be made of some sort of magical material that can absorb a microscopic trace of urine through my boxers and turn it into a prodigious lake of undeniable piss down my leg. I spent about five minutes rubbing myself with tissue paper so vigorously that I'm surprised I didn't get a fire going.

[Taffin]

My stupid fucking trousers must be made of some sort of magical material that can absorb a microscopic trace of urine through my boxers and turn it into a prodigious lake of undeniable piss down my leg. I spent about five minutes rubbing myself with tissue paper so vigorously that I'm surprised I didn't get a fire going.

Salt & vinegar piss, presumably?

 

[Phantom Spunker]

Anyone know about computer games? My young nephews are getting a PS5 and I want to get them a game for Christmas. They like shooting people, which is fine, but I don't want them running around raping prostitutes and stuff like that.

[Humble Narcissist]

Anyone know about computer games? My young nephews are getting a PS5 and I want to get them a game for Christmas. They like shooting people, which is fine, but I don't want them running around raping prostitutes and stuff like that.

Is the Kenosha 2020 shootout available yet on PS5?

[Phantom Spunker]

Is the Kenosha 2020 shootout available yet on PS5?

That one went over my head and I Googled it to check.

[Taffin]

I went to a compound and had a go on one of those 'air bikes' today, and it's got me reconsidering things. I've always hated cycling, and I never felt that I could really push myself to exhaustion in the same way that I could with sprinting. However, my legs and knees are fairly battered these days, and I was definitely breathing hard today (no homo?). I might adopt it as my main form of cardio now.

Yeah, my old AirDyne is the only bit of equipment I've got at home that I use regularly until I finish putting my home gym together - loved her from the first time I sat on her LOL

The way I can swap arms and legs in and out and get some pulling up top is what I like about it... that and the comfortable farmers saddle I put on there!

How's the Pringles addiction going..?

[Humble Narcissist]

That one went over my head and I Googled it to check.

[Humble Narcissist]

Now they're eating seeds out the palms of their hands like gerbils! Seeds! People are so annoying. I wish I could live on an island with nothing but a few sluts and loads of animals.

The sluts would be annoying.

[Humble Narcissist]

I'm no longer going to read Getbig just before I go to sleep. Had a dream last night that I beat Primemuscle to death after he climbed into my bed and tried to spoon me.

[Humble Narcissist]

She looks like a human alien hybrid.

[Humble Narcissist]

I know, it's amazing. The only thing that could make her hotter would be having a stump or a little pig's trotter for a hand.

2 vaginas.

[Phantom Spunker]

2 vaginas.

[Humble Narcissist]

And 3 tits like the chick on Total Recall.

[Humble Narcissist]

She was a goddess. Three tits, two vaginas, one arm, alien-like bone structure ... we've created my dream woman.

[Taffin]

And 3 tits like the chick on Total Recall.

Parsh

Throw in the sexy midget from the same bar and it moves from parsh to pop shot...

[Taffin]

Oof, I wouldn't have minded smashing that ginger nun in Sister Act 2. And prime Lauryn Hill was a stone cold fox. That is all.

OK so I had to Google that one - she definitely asked the surgeon for well defined cheek bones at her last facelift!

[Humble Narcissist]

Oof, I wouldn't have minded smashing that ginger nun in Sister Act 2. And prime Lauryn Hill was a stone cold fox. That is all.

I am not attracted to nuns.

[Phantom Spunker]

Fruit and veg can get to fuck. I hate the stuff. Don't know how anyone can be bothered to eat five portions a day. I doubt I eat that much in a month. Actually, I did have a big packet of dates in syrup this week - that prob counts.

[Taffin]

Fruit and veg can get to fuck. I hate the stuff. Don't know how anyone can be bothered to eat five portions a day. I doubt I eat that much in a month. Actually, I did have a big packet of dates in syrup this week - that prob counts.

Yeah, if Jeebers 'uninvented' fruit I wouldn't miss it (except vanilla - is that a fruit?)

But vegetables?  Love them, and I'm a lazy sh1t, so a tray of roasted mixed veg, or a steamer full of greens and pak choi, asparagus, etc.  Takes 2 minutes to prep.  Mmmm - yes please...

[Phantom Spunker]

Yeah, if Jeebers 'uninvented' fruit I wouldn't miss it (except vanilla - is that a fruit?)

But vegetables?  Love them, and I'm a lazy sh1t, so a tray of roasted mixed veg, or a steamer full of greens and pak choi, asparagus, etc.  Takes 2 minutes to prep.  Mmmm - yes please...

That's true - roasted veg is awesome. And I quite like doing deep-fried cauliflower wings. I guess I eat more veg than I'm aware of. I love cooking when I'm home, but it's hardly ever 'healthy.'

[Humble Narcissist]

I need to stop trolling with my proper YouTube account. I'm always scared I'm going to get outed by some fool I know in real life and brutally shamed/fired.

Always use anonymous accounts.

[Taffin]

I need to stop trolling with my proper YouTube account. I'm always scared I'm going to get outed by some fool I know in real life and brutally shamed/fired.

Hahaha - been there, done that, bought the T-shirt   This place 'toughens the nipples' and I sometimes forget to dial it down in the pussified outside world

Always use anonymous accounts.

Yes, I think it might have been you that advised me to do that somewhere else on the board a couple of weeks ago?  So I set up a Proton mail account, which seems pretty secure, and when I get round to it I'm going to use that to create a new YouTube persona

[Primemuscle]

That's true - roasted veg is awesome. And I quite like doing deep-fried cauliflower wings. I guess I eat more veg than I'm aware of. I love cooking when I'm home, but it's hardly ever 'healthy.'

Go raw. One of the best ways to eat fruits and vegetables is to eat them raw.

[Taffin]

Go raw. One of the best ways to eat fruits and vegetables is to eat them raw.

Prime - a lot of things are better raw... a lot .  But not veg my friend, are you serious..?  Raw corn on the cob, broccoli, asparagus, aubergine...?  Do you eat them that way?

Even my lunatic vegan farmer friends cook most things, and they are close to living the caveman lifestyle (chopping their own wood, growing everything, eating flowers, etc)