Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.

[Taffin]

Lately, I've been finding a lot of joy in revisiting the work of Robert Crumb. I've read his stuff since I was a young child and it never fails to amuse me. I love the way in which he simply laughs off the absurdity of our society and illustrates his mocking contempt for it. The honesty in his art is enlivening and admirable.

I was vaguely aware of his work, and that he was an ass-man like myself, but haven't read much of his stuff

It really boils my piss when I'm perving on a hot woman on YouTube or an article with her photo and it turns out she's married and/or has kids. Get out of my sight.

Hahaha - the same thing happens to me with InstaGram sometimes - I'm scrolling down an interesting feed, when there's a suddenly out of place 'this is my man and I couldn't do it without him' which has clearly been stuck in to reassure him she's not selling nudes.  Funnily enough, the men are normally of a type - tren build, some gym-wear tights with tight ankles, baseball cap, stylish beard, obligatory tattoos, occasionally seen smoking a cigar of some sort...

[Phantom Spunker]

I was vaguely aware of his work, and that he was an ass-man like myself, but haven't read much of his stuff




Hahaha - the same thing happens to me with InstaGram sometimes - I'm scrolling down an interesting feed, when there's a suddenly out of place 'this is my man and I couldn't do it without him' which has clearly been stuck in to reassure him she's not selling nudes.  Funnily enough, the men are normally of a type - tren build, some gym-wear tights with tight ankles, baseball cap, stylish beard, obligatory tattoos, occasionally seen smoking a cigar of some sort...

Yeah, lol, he's a total deviant and he always draws himself as one too. My father had these comics of his carelessly lying around, and I'd just disappear for hours to read them and think 'what the fuck is going on' haha. You'd definitely find them funny. One of his post-LSD haze characters 'Angelfood McSpade' still pisses people off to this day. I don't think he ever intended the sketches to be hurtful - they're just satirizing everything and recognizing the attitudes and thoughts of people who'd rather pretend that they don't exist.

[Phantom Spunker]

Hahaha - the same thing happens to me with InstaGram sometimes - I'm scrolling down an interesting feed, when there's a suddenly out of place 'this is my man and I couldn't do it without him' which has clearly been stuck in to reassure him she's not selling nudes.  Funnily enough, the men are normally of a type - tren build, some gym-wear tights with tight ankles, baseball cap, stylish beard, obligatory tattoos, occasionally seen smoking a cigar of some sort...

I was watching a really hot YouTuber go through her 'typical day' as a professional. As soon as I saw the second toothbrush in her holder I was like:
.

Something about the internet transforms me into a self-entitled objectifier of the people who put themselves out there, haha. She's not allowed to have a partner!

[Phantom Spunker]

Loving the anti-hijab protests in Iran. Wish I was there to awkwardly throw out a few gentle words of encouragement.  'And also burn the bra, ladies! C'mon, who's with me? Burn the bra! Burn the bra!'

[AbrahamG]

Loving the anti-hijab protests in Iran. Wish I was there to awkwardly throw out a few gentle words of encouragement.  'And also burn the bra, ladies! C'mon, who's with me? Burn the bra! Burn the bra!'

If Americans were allowed to travel to the Islamic Republic, I'd be right there with you. 

[Phantom Spunker]

If Americans were allowed to travel to the Islamic Republic, I'd be right there with you.

I have no doubt that the two of us could engender a revolution to eclipse 1979. A sexual revolution. With tits everywhere.

[Taffin]

If Americans were allowed to travel to the Islamic Republic, I'd be right there with you.

I have no doubt that the two of us could engender a revolution to eclipse 1979. A sexual revolution. With tits everywhere.

Hey!! (Taffin running behind the car which has set off for some Iranian fun...)....

 

Apropos of this general direction of conversation, I've always thought that one of the best jobs in the world has to be an Iranian Ob-Gyn Doctor....

[Phantom Spunker]

Hey!! (Taffin running behind the car which has set off for some Iranian fun...)....

 

Apropos of this general direction of conversation, I've always thought that one of the best jobs in the world has to be an Iranian Ob-Gyn Doctor....

Taffin, you'll obviously be sent in to scout ahead prior to our arrival. We'll have you posing as a left-leaning journalist who's keen to document the feminist uprising while surreptitiously compiling a list of the biggest slags.

[AbrahamG]

Taffin, you'll obviously be sent in to scout ahead prior to our arrival. We'll have you posing as a left-leaning journalist who's keen to document the feminist uprising while surreptitiously compiling a list of the biggest slags.

You fellas should do a podcast.  Not bullshitting.

[Phantom Spunker]

You fellas should do a podcast.  Not bullshitting.

My girlfriend keeps suggesting it. Thing is, I know just how badly I'll fuck my life over and destroy any chance of doing anything credible again if I openly joked the way I do on here or with my best friends, haha. I'm surrounded by moral grandstanders and idiots. I still have aspirations of teaching one day, so I currently have to suppress my urge to start a Getbig podcast and dress up as Hitler for Halloween.

[Taffin]

Taffin, you'll obviously be sent in to scout ahead prior to our arrival. We'll have you posing as a left-leaning journalist who's keen to document the feminist uprising while surreptitiously compiling a list of the biggest slags.

Hairy-titted slags... with dark chewy n1pples...  breeders....   mmmm... 

You fellas should do a podcast.  Not bullshitting.

 

Those CumTown guys were on $50k a month from Patreon until it fell apart

My girlfriend keeps suggesting it. Thing is, I know just how badly I'll fuck my life over and destroy any chance of doing anything credible again if I openly joked the way I do on here or with my best friends, haha. I'm surrounded by moral grandstanders and idiots. I still have aspirations of teaching one day, so I currently have to suppress my urge to start a Getbig podcast and dress up as Hitler for Halloween.

Yeah, it's a nuclear option for sure - and if it even took off, the first few months (years) would be just you and me being super crude in a room with 11 listeners!   We need to wait until we're independently wealthy enough I fear...

[Phantom Spunker]

I 'brutal if trued' my first civilian yesterday. It was via text message in response to them telling me that an item they'd advertised on Gumtree was already sold. I only wish I could have witnessed their confused expression as they tried to make sense of it.

[Phantom Spunker]

Been re-watching a lot of Floyd Mayweather Jr.'s fights recently. I miss the days of staying up to watch them live. Man, he was awesome. The most complete fighter of all time, in my opinion.

[Phantom Spunker]

Few things are more destructive to human dignity than stinking of shit. And as I came to the realization that the source of the stench permeating through the building and creating expressions of disgust on the faces of everyone around me was in fact myself, my will to live diminished further. I had trod dogshit through the carpet and sullied the soles of my finest boots. Tonight I intend to assuage my anxiety with a bottle of Disaronno, while revisiting the 'truly serious' philosophical problem of suicide with a renewed uncertainty.

[Phantom Spunker]

I am in hospital with a brutal mystery virus that feels like it's killing me. It might be meningitis, but I know it's AIDS. AIDS, AIDS, AIDS. How could it not be AIDS? And yet, if the hot African nurse patrolling the corridors were to burst in and tell me she's going to take my temperature with her fanny, I would not hesitate to comply. I am entirely deserving of my tragic fate.

[Phantom Spunker]

The mystery has been solved - right before I was about to be exposed to a lumbar puncture and HIV test. Fucking COVID has put me in hospital. I feel like that bald fag in 300 when he gets shot in the face with an arrow and realises he's not a God. This is gay as fuck. The last two times I had it I was asymptomatic. Now I'm hospitalised, tachycardic, on morphine, lost the ability to walk from my lower discs swelling so bad, and my temperature is through the roof. Stick a fork in me: I'm done!

[Humble Narcissist]

The mystery has been solved - right before I was about to be exposed to a lumbar puncture and HIV test. Fucking COVID has put me in hospital. I feel like that bald fag in 300 when he gets shot in the face with an arrow and realises he's not a God. This is gay as fuck. The last two times I had it I was asymptomatic. Now I'm hospitalised, tachycardic, on morphine, lost the ability to walk from my lower discs swelling so bad, and my temperature is through the roof. Stick a fork in me: I'm done!

Get well soon. You aren't done yet.

[Phantom Spunker]

Get well soon. You aren't done yet.

Thanks, man. I think it's going to be very short-lived. Hit me like a train but it's now just in the flu phase.

[Taffin]

The mystery has been solved - right before I was about to be exposed to a lumbar puncture and HIV test. Fucking COVID has put me in hospital. I feel like that bald fag in 300 when he gets shot in the face with an arrow and realises he's not a God. This is gay as fuck. The last two times I had it I was asymptomatic. Now I'm hospitalised, tachycardic, on morphine, lost the ability to walk from my lower discs swelling so bad, and my temperature is through the roof. Stick a fork in me: I'm done!

Really sorry to hear that - may I recommend a soapy bed bath from the sexy African nurse to take your mind off things...

Get well soon

[Humble Narcissist]

Thanks, man. I think it's going to be very short-lived. Hit me like a train but it's now just in the flu phase.

Take some Theraflu or Alka-Seltzer Plus Cold and Flu medicine and sleep most of the day and you'll feel much better.

[Phantom Spunker]

Really sorry to hear that - may I recommend a soapy bed bath from the sexy African nurse to take your mind off things...

Get well soon

Haha, thanks, Taffin. The closest I got to that was a fat young nurse asking if I wanted to shower at 02:00 a.m., then telling me that she's on all night and I can 'call on her for anything ... anything at all.' This was before they knew it was COVID. Now, my temperature was sky-high and I was doped up on morphine, so my judgement may have been off, but I honestly think she was trying to get banged. These chubsters have no self-control.

Take some Theraflu or Alka-Seltzer Plus Cold and Flu medicine and sleep most of the day and you'll feel much better.

Yeah, I've been bedbound the last few days. Been smashing co-codamol and multivitamin drinks. It's really strange how the virus hit me this time - I've just got a lot of muscle weakness and ache now. Never got any sinus issues, loss of smell, etc.

When it hit, I started getting slight swelling in my lower back and dizziness. Then I felt hypothermic and was shivering uncontrollably. That quickly changed to being boiling hot, then my back seized up and I couldn't walk, and I developed a migraine so bad I couldn't open my eyes. Every old injury in my body started to ache again and my temperature wouldn't come down. I stayed like that for 24 hrs - the pain was ridiculous.

Initial tests for COVID were negative, so they assumed a brain infection and treated me for that initially. I'm getting slagged off by my girlfriend now because I've been boasting for ages about how I'm immune to COVID and mocking others for getting hit with it, lol. I think I'll be pretty much back to normal tomorrow.

[Phantom Spunker]

I've been doing some training with a Belgian Malinois this week to help someone out. Such a smart, strong breed. This one is very funny. When she gets over-excited she runs up to children's swings in the park and tries to rip them apart. The owner was literally swinging her around trying to get her to let go, lol.

[Phantom Spunker]

I must make a disgusting confession: I am completely, utterly, obsessively addicted to the smell of one of my friend's armpits. I tell her this openly, so I'm not a total weirdo, but I will literally sniff them sometimes. Her sweat is like crack cocaine to me. I am in heaven when she has B.O.

[Phantom Spunker]

It doesn't get better than this:

[Phantom Spunker]

Get a load of this random whore who messaged me by accident, lol. 'Drowning in a sea of cocks'  . Absolutely foul.