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WRESTLEMANIA 38 - Will it indeed be "STUPENDOUS!!"? Night 1 and Night 2 picks

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Or, as WWE is now calling it, "WrestleMania Saturday" and "WrestleMania Sunday".

Unlike last year, they're letting you know which matches are going to be on which day.


Drew McIntyre vs. Baron "Happy" Corbin - Poor Drew. Two years ago, he wins the world title from Brock Lesnar in front of NOBODY. He's being labeled the "Thunderdome Champion". Last year, I thought he'd beat Lashley for his WrestleMania moment. That didn't happen. Now, it looks as if he's curtain-jerking again but not for the WWE championship like last year. I guess I'll go with the Scottish Warrior.

Raw Women's Championship: Becky Lynch (c) vs. Bianca Belair - This has built since SummerSlam. Watching Belair start from scratch, eventually winning the Elimination Chamber to make up for not winning the Rumble again, has been swell. The fans have really turned on Lynch, "Big Time". But, I don't see both babyface challengers winning the women's titles. So, the fans may be crushed on this one. But, Lynch retains.

Smackdown Women's Championship: Charlotte Flair (c) vs. "Rowdy" Rhonda Rousey - Rousey wasn't brought back just to job to Flair. And since I think she wins it, it's why I picked Belair to lose to Lynch again. Women's division is almost morphing back to the Divas mode, especially with the hoochie-mama ring gear being worn. That might explain why the women aren't main-eventing PPVs or premium live events anymore (Roman Reigns isn't helping their cause, either).

Smackdown Tag Team Championship: The Usos (c) vs. Shinsuke Nakamura and Rick Boogs - Funaki 2.0 and his personal guitarist get their crack at the Bloodline. That El Kabong shot that Boogs took from Jimmy Uso really made this heat up. Nakamura hasn't had much luck at 'Mania. Maybe those two get the belts at another event. But, for now, I'll go with the Usos.

Rey and Dominik Mysterio vs. Miz and Logan Paul -Since there are two celebrities (of sorts) at 'Mania and one is a heel, the Mysterios are poised to win it. Plus, last year Miz and Morrison lost to Bad Bunny and Damian Priest.

Seth "Freakin'" Rollins vs Opponent of Mr. McMahon's Choosing - Let the rumor mills swirl. Most of the buzz is that it will be Cody Rhodes. If it's somebody new, Rollins is doing the job.

Edit - After the Hall of Fame, you don't think it might be......."Never Say Never"!!

New Day (King Xavier Woods and Kofi Kingston) vs. Sheamus and Ridge Holland - This was supposed to be a six-man tag. But thanks to Holland's nearly killing Big E with a botched overhead belly-to-belly suplex outside the ring, E is out and "Butch" will be relegated to cornerman for Holland and the Celtic Warrior. I'll give The Power of Positivity the win in this one.

Kevin Owens' "KO Show" with special guest: Stone Cold Steve Austin - This isn't even a match but word is that this will close WrestleMania Saturday, to send the fans home happy from night 1, in case the rest of the matches are duds overall. Austin will beat up Owens and he can look good without officially wrestling or risking injury. As long as Owens doesn't try any overhead belly-to-belly suplexes, the somewhat brittle Rattlesnake should be fine.

I won't bother making a pick for the ATG Battle Royal, since it's not even part of WrestleMania proper (not even the pre-show). It's on "WrestleMania Smackdown" tonight. But, how the mighty have fallen! Former WWE champion, Jinder Mahal, is part of the participation trophy match.....well it's isn't even that anymore, since it's not part of the PPV.

This Wrestlemania is in STUPENDOUSLY LOPSIDED. All the mediocre/suck matches (on paper, at least) were front-loaded on night 1 and the big-time matches stacked to night 2.


WWE Unification Championship Match: Roman Reigns (Universal Champion) vs. Brock Lesnar (World Champion) - This is the THIRD time Lesnar and Reigns have been pitted in the main event against each other, with Reigns getting booed silly despite being the babyface. Now he's the heel and people love him. He's beaten the Beast every where but the Showcase of the Immortals. I'm tired of Lesnar, personally. Between McMahon letting him end the Streak and emasculate Cena 4 months later, Mr. Part-Timer has been billed as darn-near immortal (except for that squash against Oldberg at Survivor Series 2016).

Reigns gets both belts because....UPSET SPECIAL.....interference from Bobby Lashley, who should still be bitter over losing to Lesnar without even competing in the Elimination Chamber. Keep the Almighty a face to knock off Omos then turn him heel by screwing Lesnar. Then you got Lesnar and Lashley in a feud to light up 2022, provided they can give us the same quality as Lashley and McIntyre last year.

Edge vs. AJ Styles - This match is being billed as the second coming of Savage vs. Steamboat or Hart vs. Austin (or even Hart vs. Hart). But, given the evil makeover for the former Rated-R superstar, I don't see how he ends up losing this one.

"The Almighty" Bobby Lashley vs. Omos. This was a last-minute bout and a surprise one. Rumor had it that Lashley would be out for months, not returning until well after 'Mania. Someone has to hang the first loss on Styles' former personal colossus. Since, he and Lashley were still featured on the ads for WM38, I figured they'd be involved just not against each other. That holds true for Lashley (more on that later).

Sami Zayn vs. Johnny Knoxville ("Anything Goes" - NO Disqualification) - Dead giveaway! Anytime a non-wrestler faces a wrestler in a No-DQ match, the non-wrestler gets the nod See. Big Show vs. Mayweather at WM24.

Raw Tag Team Championship (Triple Threat): RK-Bro vs. Alpha Academy vs. Street Profits - I could argue that this belongs on WM Saturday. After all, we just saw a triple threat with two of these three teams on Raw less than a month ago. We should get some high-flying spots with Montez Ford, and an RKO on someone in mid-air. In the end. Orion and Riddle keep the belts.

Women's Tag Team Championship (Fatal 4-way): Carmella and Queen Zelina (c) vs. Natalya Neidhart and Shayna Bayzler vs. Naomi and Sasha Banks vs. Rhea Ripley and Liv Morgan - I'll pretend to care and say this will likely be the end of the champs' reign, because of Carmella's vanity. Plus, Banks probably wants consolation for losing the Smackdown title to Belair last year. Not to mention Naomi has been virtually irrelevant until now. I'll go with Naomi and Sasha. BTW, if Naomi wins one of those belts, can she be part of "The Bloodline", as she is Jimmy Uso's wife?

Austin Theory vs. Pat McAfee - McAfee is a hybrid celebrity and wrestler. So, I'm tempted to give him the win. I dig McAfee. But, the Mr. McMahon factor plays too heavy and since McAfee goes back to commentary anyway, I'll reluctantly go with Theory.

Here we go!! Night one of WM 38!! Smackdown tag titles do the curtain-jerk. But, first....the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders!!

Boogs does the guitar thing and Pat McAfee acts a bigger fool than he normally does, when Nakamura's music hits. And apparently the Usos decided to wrestle in their jammies.

Well, there goes Boogs' knee, trying to hoist both Usos up for a super Samoan drop. Nakamura goes on a flurry. But, when he goes to end it, he gets kicked in the mouth and splashed. Naka survives that. But after a "1D", that's all she wrote and the Usos retain.

I'm not sure if Boogs' knee injury is legit. I hope not; that's the last thing WWE needs. Next up, it's Corbin and McIntyre.

WOW!! Now that's how you do it. McIntyre is the blueprint on how big men should fight. A flying somersault over the top on Corbin. But, Corbin put on a good show. He hits "End of Days" and everyone thought it was over. McIntyre later hits his Claymore and pins Mr. Happy. And to top it off, McIntyre just chopped the ropes in half and almost nipping Moss in the process.

So, after beating Lesnar for the title in front of nobody two years ago and passing out to Lashley's hurt-lock last year in front of a few (by WM standards), the Scottish Warrior gets his mini-WrestleMania moment.

And, now, the Mysterios go after Miz and Paul. We get stereo Mysterios, leaping out of the stage and a ton of pyro for Logan Paul.

Lots of aerial moves from Dominik but this Paul is sneaky. And he just pulled off a Davey-Boy-style powerslam. Now comes a flying blockbuster. Boy, these celebrities are doing their homework. First, Bad Bunny from last year now Logan Paul.

Rey gets tagged into the match and is going ham on Miz. But, Paul keeps making the save. Here comes the 6-1-9. But, NO, it's a tornado DDT. The three amigos....or two before Rey gets shoved into the post. Logan Paul tags into the match.....NO HE DIDN'T. HE HIT the Three amigos on Rey and the Frog Splash.

But, Dominik makes the save. The Mysterios hit a double 6-1-9 on Paul and a double frog splash. However, Miz slams Dominik onto Rey, hits the Skull-Crushing Finale on Rey and get the pin. WHAT!!! After celebrating the win, MIZ DROPS PAUL with a Skull-Crushing Finale. And he walks away, celebrating with a fan at the edge of the barricade.

Raw Women's Championship!! Did they do this video package right or what? New Titantron and Lynch is coming out first....bad omen?

Texas Southern University marching band is coming out and playing Belair's theme song, shades of Cena's entrance from WM24.

Belair went for the handshake, Lynch slapped her, went for a "Man-handle Slam", but go reversed into an attempted KOD. Lynch actually hits the "Man-Handle Slam" and almost gets the pin.

Now we get a bunch of sequences of each one trying to pin the other. OH NO!! Belair has Lynch in her own submission hold. Now, after more pin attempts, it's outside the ring and into the steps for the challenger.

WOW!! A near-gorilla press drop of Lynch on the top turnbuckle and a 450 splash by the challenger, but no three count and the fans are in shock. Now, Lynch goes for some somersault move by Lynch that kicked Belair right in the nose.

And Lynch's fishnets are falling apart in the process of all this mess. Belair went for the KOD with Lynch hanging on the ropes for dear life. She gets KOD'ed but outside the ring. Back in the ring, and a Man-Handle Slam but NO!!!

Another attempt, Super slam off the ropes. But, a somersault and a KOD and WHAM!!! Belair WINS THE GOLD!!!

Here comes the intrigue. After a nerd choir sings him to the ring, it's Seth "Freakin" Rollins vs his mystery opponent.....Lights out!! Pyro, a red, white, and blue skull. And here comes "The American Nightmare" Cody Rhodes.

Well, the last time he was in Texas at WrestleMania 32 was in that IC ladder match. And just to dot the exclamation point, after he does an arm-drag on Rollins, Rhodes does a somersault and does the "Stardust" face thing.

I think that outside suplex was a botch, with both guys tumbling to the outside and landing awkwardly.

Rhodes went for a cross body block off the top ropes only to get drop-kicked in the ribs. The fans are into the match, welcoming Rhodes back. Rollins pulls a Lesnar, "Welcome back to the big leagues, b---h!!" and keeps pounding the ribs and back.

Bowing for Rollins, after a clothesline over the top, Rhodes dived into the Revolutionary who tumbles over the Raw announce table. And a diving flip into Rollins almost gets a three-count.

OUCH!!! Rhodes got power bombed into the barricade, after a missed Franken-Steiner. A flying knee, a super kick and a Falcon's arrow but no three count. He goes for the stomp, NOPE, Cross-Rhodes attempt by the American Nightmare, Nope, another stomp, Not quite, Cross-Rhodes attempt #2, Roll-up instead by Rollins, Kickout, WHAM!!! Cross-Rhodes connects!!!

But no three count and crowd is shocked!!

Rhodes goes for a moonsault but gets kicked off and lands on his crotch. Rollins tries a move but after getting elbows three times (why is Rhodes saying, "Boom" after each elbow), Rollins falls but leaps right back up, hits a flippy suplex, rolls into a Boston-crab-like move, then hits the Falcon's arrow against.....BUT NO THREE COUNT!!!

After two pedigree attempts, Rollins gets caught and power bombed. Rhodes runs to the opposite buckles, jumps backward, hits a stunner/RKO move, and STILL can't get the three count. Rollins finally hits the pedigree, when Rhodes goes for the kill, but NOPE!!!

Now comes the "BOO"/"YAY" punch exchange!! Rollins hits the forearm and goes for the stomp but gets caught. Two Cross-Rhodes, a flurry of punches and a bionic elbow, a THIRD Cross-Rhodes and FINALLY!!! the THREE COUNT!!!


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