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New Rules: Mel, get your Nazi mojo back, call Diane Sawyer sugar tits

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Hugo Chavez:
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHa...... Hilarious new rules from the last Bill Maher.  ;D Even Bill likes the old Anti-Semitic Mel over the apologizing Mel.

New Rule: Mel Gibson can’t do another major TV interview unless he’s rip-roaring drunk. Mel, enough of this guy who talks about “healing” and explains why he’s not a “monster,” and how he feels “powerless” over everything. Sounds like someone’s spent too much time in rehab listening to their Jew therapist. Now, get your Nazi mojo back, Mr. Braveheart and march back out there and call Diane Sawyer “sugar tits.”

New Rule: Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make you spiritual. It's right above the crack of your ass. And it translates to "beef with broccoli." The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not spiritual. You're just high.

New Rule: The people in America who are most in favor of the Iraq war must now go there and fight it. The Army missed its recruiting goal by 42% last month. More people joined the Michael Jackson Fan Club. "We've done picked all the low-lying Lynndie England fruit." And now we need warm bodies. We need warm bodies like Paula Abdul needs...warm bodies!

Now, last week, a Baptist minister in North Carolina told nine members of his congregation that unless they renounced their 2004 vote for John Kerry, they had to leave his church. Well, if we're that certain these days that George Bush is always that right about everything, then going to Iraq to fulfill the glorious leader's vision would seem the least one could do. And, hey, if it makes it any easier for you, just think of it as a reality show: "Fear Factor: Shitting Your Pants Edition." "Survivor: Sunni Triangle." Or maybe it's a video game, "Grand Theft Allah."

Now, I know you're thinking, but, Bill, I already do my part with the "Support Our Troops" magnet I have on my Chevy Tahoe. How much more can one man give? Well, here's an intriguing economic indicator. It's been over a year since they graduated, but neither of the Bush twins has been able to find work. Why don't they sign up? Do they hate America or just freedom in general?

And that goes for everybody who helped sell this war. You've got to go first. Brooks and Dunn, drop your cocks and grab your socks! Ann Coulter, darling, trust me, you will love the Army. You think you make up shit!

Curt Schilling, b-bye! You ended the curse on Boston. Good. Let's try your luck in Fallouja. Oh, and that Republican Baldwin brother, he's got to go so that Ted Nugent has someone to frag.

But mostly, we have to send Mr. And Mrs. Britney Spears. Because Britney once said, "We should trust our president in every decision that he makes, and we should just support that and be faithful in what happens." Okay, somebody has to die for that. Or at least go. Hey, maybe she'll like it. Hell, she's already knocked up. That'll save the MP unit about ten minutes.

And think of the spiritual lift it will provide to troops and civilians alike when actual combat smacks the smirk off of Kevin Federline's face and fills his low-hanging trousers with dootie.

In summation, you cannot advocate for something you wouldn't do yourself. For example, I'm for fuel efficiency, which is why I drive a hybrid car and always take an electric private plane. I'm for legalizing marijuana, and so I smoke a ton of it.


--- Quote from: Berserker on October 18, 2006, 02:00:42 PM ---. Sounds like someone’s spent too much time in rehab listening to their Jew therapist.

--- End quote ---

0f course, any therapist who stole mel's mojo must be a jew  ::)

Hugo Chavez:

--- Quote from: Al-Gebra on October 18, 2006, 07:24:50 PM ---0f course, any therapist who stole mel's mojo must be a jew  ::)

--- End quote ---
Take it to Bill Maher, he's the one who said it.  New Rules are JOKES... No need for eye rolls.  Bill Maher is also Jewish incase you had plans on calling him Anti-himself :P

speaks volumes that the only Maher joke you post has to do w jews.


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