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Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.

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Phantom Spunker:
My usual trolling strafing-run on YouTube engendered a brief but painful existential crisis a few days ago. I was listening to the late, disabled pianist Michel Petrucciani and was about to leave a 'he always struggled to put food on the table' joke, but my appreciation for what he was able to create during his short (no pun intended) time here made me feel guilty.

I'm glad my back is fucked. I'd like to rip it out and snap it like a German Shephard. I am frustrated by the realisation that I'm not giving enough of myself to the things I care about. There is nothing worse than being weak and apathetic. By the time I'm dumped in the ground, I intend on being a completely worn-out, broken down husk. I want every ounce of energy I expend to be in some way related to the people and things that matter to me, and if anything from that effort endures and remains there for others, then there's been a point to it all.

I'm scared I'm involuntarily being led down the same path as Tolstoy, though. I need to balance everything out with frequent visits to the 'Biggest Gallery of Natural College Chicks' to maintain my sanity and avoid becoming too gay.

Grape Ape:
Strap your ruck to the back of your legs, find a table, and do poor man's reverse hypers.

Phantom Spunker:

--- Quote from: Grape Ape on December 02, 2022, 01:44:49 PM ---Strap your ruck to the back of your legs, find a table, and do poor man's reverse hypers.

--- End quote ---

I'll hopefully have an MRI done next year, but I suspect I'll need disc replacement eventually. I think I've just worn them away. It went again the day after doing hypers and the lying leg curl machine (nh). Not done reverse hypers for a while, though. Will start them at the gym tomorrow.

Humble Narcissist:

--- Quote from: Phantom Spunker on December 02, 2022, 03:12:46 PM ---I'll hopefully have an MRI done next year, but I suspect I'll need disc replacement eventually. I think I've just worn them away. It went again the day after doing hypers and the lying leg curl machine (nh). Not done reverse hypers for a while, though. Will start them at the gym tomorrow.

--- End quote ---
I would quit lifting. Try calisthenics or qigong instead.

Phantom Spunker:

--- Quote from: Humble Narcissist on December 03, 2022, 09:17:06 AM ---I would quit lifting. Try calisthenics or qigong instead.

--- End quote ---

Lifting wasn't what caused it. I don't deadlift any more and I've given up on squats now, too. I can still run, box, smash upper body, etc. It's stupid things like getting out of a car or carrying stuff that tends to make the discs herniate - or whatever is happening.

I trained chest today and did a very light leg workout, complete with reverse hypers. Everything feels good just now. I think incorporating calisthenics would probably help a lot, though.

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