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[DIVISION]

Have to disagree she is big time on the rebound.  Please they dont deal with this in a couple months. Takes a while sometimes years for people to move on.  People keep bouncing around for a while.  If you feel for someone you sure do not want to be the transition guy.

Ok, I can agree with someone on this who has 14 years on me in life experience.

I can deal with that.

But...........why'd you have to bring Diana Ross in to my mix?   

She hasn't fully dealt with all the emotions involved, and it might take years.........true.

I'm just not ready to write her off completely.

She shared alot with me and I gave her some good advice and being her friend doesn't sound like the worst thing in the world.

Agree/Disagree?

Div, that is quite a story!

I don't condemn you for getting involved with a married women, but at the same time, regardless of the situation, I do not condone it...I can't off hand think of one single situation where I would.

Anyway, I could probably ramble on and on about this whole thing, but IMO, what L2H has said pretty much sums it up, and I agree with him on this completely.

Baby arnold,

I want your thoughts on this, bro.

Rambling or not........

Anything you can add?



DIV

[Princess L]

I want to believe her, but friends I've talked to think she's just a pro who got what she wanted and moved on.

DIV

Unfortunately, I think your friends are right 

[Luv2Hurt]

"Ive tried so hard, hard to be patient
Hoping youd stop this infatuation
But each time you are together
Im so afraid Ill be losing you forever"

Sorry could not help it.

[DIVISION]

"Ive tried so hard, hard to be patient
Hoping youd stop this infatuation
But each time you are together
Im so afraid Ill be losing you forever"

Sorry could not help it.

Hurt2Luv......

You think I'm making a mistake by remaining friends with her?



DIV

[abc123]

If you have an STD, don't automatically assume that you gave it to her.  I wouldn't take her at her word that you were the only one other than her husband.  She could have given it to you.

[Rimbaud]

Unfortunately, I think your friends are right 

I have to agree with Princess here.

[Rimbaud]

I don't wanna break your sorority celebration but spilling your little broken heart on a juice board is pretty pathetic.

Do you have anything useful to add...?

[trab]

Sorry to break up the "grunting police" thread....

Just needed a sounding board and perhaps a few of you could give me your thoughts, good or bad.

Some of you know I'm a personal trainer, have been for about eighteen months now.

I've been very liberal with my clients and we discuss many things, often issues of a personal matter during training.

Though it's discouraged, I've dated a few women I've trained (on the DL) and up until this point it hasn't been issue.....

.....until Suzanne.

She was an RN, outpatient nurse.

Slightly built, model-like figure, gorgeous hazel eyes, dark hair and creamy pale skin.  A mixture of Greek and Danish ancestry, she looked unique. 

She was reserved, quiet, open, honest.....all good qualities.

She chose me as a trainer and we began to have a discourse while I trained her.

I didn't find her attractive at first because her hair was dyed blond, which changed her whole look.

She did this at the behest of her husband, whom I would hear about for months to come.

She told me the intimate details of their boring sex life, his premature ejaculation issues pretty much killed her ability to orgasm combined with the fact that he was very vanilla (sexually) and not very good at it either.

He is one of these religious zealots who doesn't masturbate (religious reasons) and can only get off through intercourse (whether she wants it or not).

She had stopped believing in their religion a long time ago and this was one of many reasons she had left him for extended periods in the past.

She'd left him, considered divorce/separation, though never cheated on him.

Until me.....

It started harmlessly, when she gave me her number and asked me to call her if I had any earlier openings than her customary 7:00 am slot.

I called her, gave her the info and that was that.

Our conversations continued at the gym and things were just copacetic.

Then.........she called me on a Friday night and asked to meet me outside of the gym.

I asked "why", she said she wanted to meet me in another setting.

Again, I asked "why".....

Then she started whining (how women whine when they become impatient) and I agreed to meet her.

.........this was the point of no return for me, for us.

I knew she was married, albeit unhappily, and that this was way over the line, yet I just didn't catch myself or think about it.

I really did wonder what she wanted from me.

I was open to being friends, but wasn't comfortable with sex.

A dark night, about 8pm.....the park, the parking lot.

I got in her BMW and we talked for awhile.

Pheromones are a dangerous thing and it was obvious that there was mutual attraction.

She'd let her hair go back to it's natural dark brown color as I'd suggested a month before and that night I found out just how thick that hair can get.  Greek women, that thick hair they have, she had a bush that was off the chain (for those of you who know I like it thick). 

The bottomline that night was that I gave her an orgasm (manually), the first one she'd had in quite awhile from a man.  Her husband just wasn't able, which she detailed afterward ad nauseum.  Because of his premature ejaculation issues, he had to masturbate her with a dildo just to get her off, he couldn't eat pussy and he never wanted anal.

After I tasted her for the first time, I realized that this was dangerous for both of us.

She wanted to come over to my apartment that night, and I held back, told her to be patient as I wasn't sure I wanted to go deeper with her.

Over the proceeding few weeks she pressed and asked and bemoaned the fact that I wouldn't let her in my apartment.

We met at the park, mostly, had lunch during my break and laid together under the shade.

This happened numerous times and you don't realize how close you become to someone just by being around them.

Between us it was as much romantic as purely sexual. 

I liked her, she liked me.

I think it was apparent (looking back now) that she'd decided beforehand she wanted sex with me.

I was the patient one and I really found it ironic that a woman was pressing me for "something".

I don't remember when, exactly, but after about two weeks of this, I relented and above my warning that the apartment was a mess, she came over.

It was a night during the week and I was watching ESPN, drinking Merlot, which she had a glass of.

I was "OK", but the alcohol makes her tipsy....small girl.

She started climbing on me like a cat, kissing me, getting in to me and as much self-restraint as I have.......it was too tempting and too delicious.

I took off her clothes, led her to the bedroom........

There was no time for foreplay.....all I remember of the sex was opening the Trojan wrapper, that familiar warm feeling, the comfort when I was inside her, then the reverberation of her ass tight up against me while I pounded her doggy.  Her skin was so pale, she glowed in the dark.  The sex was hard, rough and her moaning was all I needed as motivation to keep going.

That was the first time......

There were many more times thereafter.

Afternoon, night.......morning once.

Things were moving fast.

She asked me if I'd eventually give her a key.  (A key?  )

She left a bag with all her haircare/femmenine products in my apartment.

She left a pair of clothes to change in to as well.

She left alot of that thick Greek hair as well.   

Then came the questions....

Would you get a vasectomy?

Do you want kids or not?

Things you ask someone you're dating when you're SINGLE, not MARRIED.

I suppose she was looking forward to me as a prospect after, but I really can't be sure what she was thinking.

We had sex so many times, even that aspect of our relationship was progressing.  I knew the ins and outs of her body by heart. 

I was the first to introduce her to anal.

Little did I know that I was becoming attached.......not to the sex, but to her as a woman.

Yes, I know many of you will wonder how I could ever want a relationship with a woman who was cheating on her husband with ME.  How could I ever trust her in a relationship?

I don't know.  I just knew I was getting in too deep. 

Things slowed down around Thanksgiving as she had family over from out of state and couldn't get away.

I really started to question myself, ask if any of this was worth it not to mention the fact that I was starting to care for this woman.

Late November she decided to give her husband another chance, and was trying to juggle both me and him sexually.

When she told me about this, I refused to share her sexually, ending that aspect of the relationship.

Not at first, though, we still had sex several more times....each time with her saying "this is the last time..."

I didn't believe her and by that time I was not in the mood for the back and forth bullshit.

I'm not sure what her thinking was.

I told her that if she was indeed going to "renew her commitment to her husband", I wanted sex with her one final time, that Thursday.

She came over on Wednesday afternoon right before I had to leave for work.

No idea why, as there was no time for sex or anything really....

She wanted to spent time with me or see me, but I didn't understand why (though I think I do now).

I was disappointed in her cutting me off, going back to the husband after we'd done so much.

I was gradually weaning myself off of her.

On that fateful day, Thursday, I remember she called me about the time I had to go to work.

Don't remember the conversation, until the end when I asked her whether she was coming over or not.

"I'm not going to ask you again, Suzanne......"

She said......"OK", with a loud sigh and that was the last I spoke with her.

 ........until about a week ago.

She called me to ask about whether I'd ever been STD tested, because she'd developed a sore on her upper leg (about a month and a half after the last we'd had any sexual contact), to which I said no.

I'm not promiscuous and outside of this, I really only have sex in relationships so hearing about this was a shock to me.

She was going in for bloodwork on Monday and I arranged to meet her at the lab so we could have some time to talk.

Turns out that about three weeks after she stopped having sex with me to "renew her marriage vows", her and husband had "the final argument" leading to her moving out and getting an apartment, filing for separation.

When I heard that, I was disappointed, upset and wondering why she hadn't contacted me earlier.

Evidently, sometime during the time she was away from me her old boyfriend from high school (married unhappily) had contacted her, found her and they had begun seeing each other.

No sex yet, but they'd made out and she told me she wasn't looking for anything serious.

I made it clear to her that during our meeting that I wanted a chance at a relationship with her now that she was separated.

Of course, she said no, due to her coming out of the marriage which I do understand.

What I don't understand is her ability to go from me to another guy in a matter of a couple months.

It seems almost like she figured I'd written her off, moved on and replaced me with the very next guy who came long.

So, bottomline.......I got an STD test on Tuesday for her benefit because I seriously doubt I have anything.

She said that she wouldn't consider me for a longterm relationship because we have too many differences and she needs to think of her kids first, which I understand.

I asked her if we could remain friends, despite everything and she is considering it, pending the results of the STD test.

I don't even know if a friendship would work between us, probably too much sexual chemistry.

What I want to know is HOW I got so attached to a woman with so much baggage, issues when it's never happened before.

If I could explain the qualitlies she possesses in words, I would.....

Those of you who are married/involved with a woman you adore, the kind you dream of, would understand those qualities I'm talking about.

Classic beauty, quiet serene sense of grace.  A good mother.  A nice woman.  Not to mention the sexual chemistry.

My better judgement has been disabled throughout this whole thing and if it was on, it would tell me to forget about her and appreciate the time we had.

I just can't help feeling that I'm missing out on something "good" simply by being with her.

Despite all my better judgement, I'm still considering a relationship with her down the road if it becomes available.

As I look back on the times we had......the many nights.......the way we worked well together when we were just "together" (sexually or not), I long for that kind of closeness with a woman.

In this world, you don't get many opportunities to meet someone who works for you in the most important of ways and I feel (despite the obstacles) she is one who works.

I'm not someone who "needs" a relationship, never have, but I also realize that there are only so many chances.

That's basically where I am now.

I never would have believed I'd be in this position.........EVER.

I met the ideal woman for me, someone else's soon to be ex-wife, mother of three kids, a woman who cheated on her husband with me.........yet I can't get over her.

Regardless of whether you like me or not, please read my words and give me some insight if you can.

I need a voice, I need some thoughts.

Even if you want to condemn me for fucking a married man's wife, at least give me something.

This is all new to me.......and I'm not liking it.

SPEAK.



DIV

This is the LDS woman right?

Normally I'd go w/ AJ on the married woman thing.... Normally Im very respective of others religions...
NOT IN THIS CASE!!!!!!  I lived 2 yrs in SLC and that religion is Whacked - Period!!!

Her marriage was a fraud and doomed to fail whether you were involved or not... Sorry to any PC bleeding hearts, I'm into cold reality...

The STD thing is gettin ahead of itself, dont assume till ya know wahts what.


THE ONLY CONCERNS I SEE FOR YOU:
1. Your age differences and plans for the future.
Do you want children? You may change your mind even if you dont now.
Does she absolutely NOT want any more kids?
THis is THE Major thing in any marriage.

2. How old are her kids and how do you relate to them?
Can you deal with this?

3. Her question about vasectomy tells me she dont want more kids and she knows that basically makes you both a
non-item as far as 99.9% odds for a long term thing. Shes smart. She dont want to get hurt again, and wants a lifelong partner for the duration.

I forget how old you are, but there was a time I thought I never wanted kids and valued my freewheelin' life.
That changes for most guys. I value my daughter and wife beyond all.
Problem is many guys dont end up with a good relationship.

4. Allthough I dont really blame you for her wrecked marriage, it was a wreck, The Glock Factor must be considered.
Watch your back, and surroundings. Big Tough guy shit means ZERO if someone wants to shoot yur ass up.

5. I cant say enough bad things about that Whack-O Religion 
Unless she's Totally discarded it,  disgusted with it, filling you in about all its stupid details, and making a mockery of it - I'd never get involved w/a  LDS girl again - NEVER!
Even if she's discarded it, theres something that just never can be removed.

They also like to keep their  women barefoot pregnant and on ANti-depresants. Dont get involved w/ a girl that just finally rebelling against a repressive nutcase cult and is carrying baggage. The 'Zacked ones are ice slabs
sexually, and if shes in some temporary rebellious reaction is all I'm driving at.

 

[Luv2Hurt]

Hurt2Luv......

You think I'm making a mistake by remaining friends with her?



DIV

If you had no true feelings for her I would say yes be friends, but since it seems you did then I would say it is hard and probally will not work beyond a aquainance type relationship.  Ask yourself do wanna be there listening to her tell you about her new boyfreind, or overhearing her giggly conversation on the cell as they plan out the night?  Or every time you see her being faced with the constant reminder that you were not "the one" for her?

If you decide to be friends just make sure are not just trying to hang on to something that will never be, or you will be stuck.

Sorry but this song fits all to well 

 
Supremes - You Keep Me Hangin’ On Lyrics


Set me free, why don’t cha babe
Get out my life, why don’t cha babe
’cause you don’t really love me
You just keep me hangin’ on
You don’t really need me
But you keep me hangin’ on

Why do you keep a coming around
Playing with my heart?
Why don’t you get out of my life
And let me make a new start?
Let me get over you
The way you’ve gotten over me

Set me free, why don’t cha babe
Let me be, why don’t cha babe
’cause you don’t really love me
You just keep me hangin’ on
Now you don’t really want me
You just keep me hangin’ on

You say although we broke up
You still wanna be just friends
But how can we still be friends
When seeing you only breaks my heart again
And there ain’t nothing I can do about it

Woo, set me free, why don’t cha babe
Woo, get out my life, why don’t cha babe
Set me free, why don’t cha babe
Get out my life, why don’t cha babe

You claim you still care for me
But your heart and soul needs to be free
Now that you’ve got your freedom
You wanna still hold on to me
You don’t want me for yourself
So let me find somebody else hey!

Why don’t you be a man about it
And set me free
Now you don’t care a thing about me
You’re just using me
Go on, get out, get out of my life
And let me sleep at night
’cause you don’t really love me
You just keep me hangin’ on...
  You Keep Me Hangin’ On
 
 
Holland-Dozier-Holland

[trab]

If he wants this woman and thinks its a long term chance of success he needs to lay that out to her.
Seems she's not thinking that is good odds.


Needs to agressively play for her it thats how he feels.
She's verry interested in him and emotionaly involved but thinks hes not a good fit for the future.

Dont share a relationship IMO,,, The "Friends" thing never worked for me, and the only guy I know that does it
constantly has relationship problems. A serious relataionship is just that. If thats waht ya want, find it or move on. Its just baggage to have a pointless "Friends" thing hampering a relationship that is waht you
really want.

Flush it if its going nowhere.
Integrating yourself w/ her kids is crucial if they are still with her.
No hope if ya cant get on with her tribe.

[Luv2Hurt]

If he wants this woman and thinks its a long term chance of success he needs to lay that out to her.
Seems she's not thinking that is good odds.


Needs to agressively play for her it thats how he feels.
She's verry interested in him and emotionaly involved but thinks hes not a good fit for the future.

Dont share a relationship IMO,,, The "Friends" thing never worked for me, and the only guy I know that does it
constantly has relationship problems. A serious relataionship is just that. If thats waht ya want, find it or move on. Its just baggage to have a pointless "Friends" thing hampering a relationship that is waht you
really want.

Flush it if its going nowhere.
Integrating yourself w/ her kids is crucial if they are still with her.
No hope if ya cant get on with her tribe.

Personally I feel this woman is WAY too unstable for a relationship.  She is not even divorced yet, tons of crap to surface yet, people need years to get through this.  You don't wanna be there while she is bouncing around.  She has no clue what she even wants now.  Nothing but trouble, there are other pale women out there that are not this much of a mess. 

Love has you blind to this.  Tell your heart to STFU and listen to your head.

[abc123]

Dude, run as fast as you can.  Don't get involved with a woman that cheated on her husband with you.  Period.

[DIVISION]

If you had no true feelings for her I would say yes be friends, but since it seems you did then I would say it is hard and probally will not work beyond a aquainance type relationship.  Ask yourself do wanna be there listening to her tell you about her new boyfreind, or overhearing her giggly conversation on the cell as they plan out the night?  Or every time you see her being faced with the constant reminder that you were not "the one" for her?

If you decide to be friends just make sure are not just trying to hang on to something that will never be, or you will be stuck.

Hurt2Luv,

She's not looking at anything serious right now with anyone and the guy she's talked to is married and has his own issues to deal with.  She said she doesn't want a relationship with me right now, doesn't mean things can't change in the future. 

I'm open-minded about this situation and I'll see how it plays out.

The STD test will determine what happens now.

If he wants this woman and thinks its a long term chance of success he needs to lay that out to her.
Seems she's not thinking that is good odds.


Needs to agressively play for her it thats how he feels.
She's verry interested in him and emotionaly involved but thinks hes not a good fit for the future.

Dont share a relationship IMO,,, The "Friends" thing never worked for me, and the only guy I know that does it
constantly has relationship problems. A serious relataionship is just that. If thats waht ya want, find it or move on. Its just baggage to have a pointless "Friends" thing hampering a relationship that is waht you
really want.

Flush it if its going nowhere.
Integrating yourself w/ her kids is crucial if they are still with her.
No hope if ya cant get on with her tribe.

Trab,

You read it perfectly.

She told me some reasons why we weren't good a good match for a LTR right now.

Those reasons are temporary, nothing that can't be changed in time.

Her kids were also an issue as she's not sure if I'm good with kids or if I can work around them.

She also doesn't want anymore kids, which was another concern of hers in looking at me for anything longterm.

I think I'm going to see about the friendship thing, and leave open the possibility for a relationship in the future.

It's either that or nothing.

Personally I feel this woman is WAY too unstable for a relationship.  She is not even divorced yet, tons of crap to surface yet, people need years to get through this.  You don't wanna be there while she is bouncing around.  She has no clue what she even wants now.  Nothing but trouble, there are other pale women out there that are not this much of a mess. 

Love has you blind to this.  Tell your heart to STFU and listen to your head.

She is unstable, Hurt2Luv.......

She's coming out of a warped ten year marriage to a guy who tried to control her and get her to fill a role, a defined role and be a stay-at-home mom.

She eventually got a nursing degree, gained some independance and they grew apart because she outgrew the role.

I know she's not able to have a serious relationship right now.

She's exploring, dating which I understand.

She has to finalize the divorce, deal with custody issues with her kids......still alot left to go through.

I've been realistic about things and I understand she may not be the woman who works for me.

I'd have to wait until the divorce is final and she's actually free of everything to ever have that kind of shot.

I know that my emotional involvement has overriden my common sense in this.

It's very unlike me.

If you knew the woman like I did, you'd understand.

Dude, run as fast as you can.  Don't get involved with a woman that cheated on her husband with you.  Period.

I know, I know, man.

She cheated on him with ME, no less.

She said I'm the only other guy she's had sex with, yet I'm wondering.

There's no real way of knowing if she's telling the truth or not.


DIV

[Rimbaud]

Dude, run as fast as you can.  Don't get involved with a woman that cheated on her husband with you.  Period.

Amen. I'm not saying people can't change but I've seen it happen a few times with friends. One of my best friends spent a whole summer trying to "steal" this girl away from her boyfriend & by "steal" I mean taking her out, listening/talking to her, & of course sex. When she finally dumped her boyfriend he jumped headlong at her. I tried for a couple weeks to convince him to leave it alone (but he didn't listen). My logic was she cheated once & let someone take her from the man she loved it would/could happen again. He didn't listen to me & because I was his friend I stood by him but a year later she did the same thing to him.

[DIVISION]

Amen. I'm not saying people can't change but I've seen it happen a few times with friends. One of my best friends spent a whole summer trying to "steal" this girl away from her boyfriend & by "steal" I mean taking her out, listening/talking to her, & of course sex. When she finally dumped her boyfriend he jumped headlong at her. I tried for a couple weeks to convince him to leave it alone (but he didn't listen). My logic was she cheated once & let someone take her from the man she loved it would/could happen again. He didn't listen to me & because I was his friend I stood by him but a year later she did the same thing to him.

Yes, but I didn't go in with the intention of having sex with her or a relationship for that matter.

It just developed that way and her marriage was already doomed.

Logic says I'm stupid for considering anything but sex with this woman based on the events thus far.

You have to realize, I'm a Psychology major and not a very emotional person in general, so the fact that I'm somewhat sprung on this chick is amazing to me.

She must have gotten under my skin without me even knowing it.

The funny part is that she was wondering if I would stray, that was a question in her mind when sizing me up for a relationship.

Ironic, eh?


DIV

[Rimbaud]

Yes, but I didn't go in with the intention of having sex with her or a relationship for that matter.

It just developed that way and her marriage was already doomed.

Logic says I'm stupid for considering anything but sex with this woman based on the events thus far.

You have to realize, I'm a Psychology major and not a very emotional person in general, so the fact that I'm somewhat sprung on this chick is amazing to me.

She must have gotten under my skin without me even knowing it.

The funny part is that she was wondering if I would stray, that was a question in her mind when sizing me up for a relationship.

Ironic, eh?


DIV

That's usually how it happens.

[trab]

Dude, run as fast as you can.  Don't get involved with a woman that cheated on her husband with you.  Period.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
THis above post would be my same response 99.999999% of the time, but I swear, you guys that aint been exposed to the life that LDS force on their women would change your tune.

I had one of these girls...    Her ex was married to at least 3 other women at same time she came to find out.
This culture is nuts IMO.

Div- Ive had  the same kind of out of sync relation. (Not the LDS woman)
Her - 33 yrs old and finished rasising her kids;  Me - 26 yrs old. It was a fun wild time taht we both knew would be painfull (and it was) when time was up....
SHe was stunning and a wild animal, and thet kept me around even though I knew it was destined to not work.

Ya learn a lot in these things and it was a great time for a 26 yr old kid....

Enjoy life and learn.

[busyB]

Man, take if for what it was, a REBOUND! Or just a way for her to get her feel....

C'mon man, you should know these Arizona women are a bit concieted and only think of themselves. You got attached and sounds to me like she could care less. She got what she wanted.

I have been in your shoes, falling for someone who is emotionally unavailable. You are best to back off, give her space and then it will drive her nuts that you might have lost intrest. If she really wants you, then she will come back.

Plus, I seen about 3 red flags that you have mentioned, one being KIDS! Those little guys are not going anywhere for a while so you better make sure you are ok getting involved with someone that has cheated on their dad.

Stay back and wait for the smoke to clear man, that way you can have some time to sort your head as well.

[DIVISION]

That's usually how it happens.

I'm finding that out now.

Everything was too convenient and I should have realized it wasn't something I should be invested in.

It was just too tempting, though......for both of us.

Div- Ive had  the same kind of out of sync relation. (Not the LDS woman)
Her - 33 yrs old and finished rasising her kids;  Me - 26 yrs old. It was a fun wild time taht we both knew would be painfull (and it was) when time was up....
SHe was stunning and a wild animal, and thet kept me around even though I knew it was destined to not work.

Ya learn a lot in these things and it was a great time for a 26 yr old kid....

Enjoy life and learn.

Women are the best and the worst of things, Trab.

Now I understand why some guys are cautious when it comes to emotional involvement.

I never thought I was getting attached to her.

......yet I was.

Man, take if for what it was, a REBOUND! Or just a way for her to get her feel....

C'mon man, you should know these Arizona women are a bit concieted and only think of themselves. You got attached and sounds to me like she could care less. She got what she wanted.

I have been in your shoes, falling for someone who is emotionally unavailable. You are best to back off, give her space and then it will drive her nuts that you might have lost intrest. If she really wants you, then she will come back.

Plus, I seen about 3 red flags that you have mentioned, one being KIDS! Those little guys are not going anywhere for a while so you better make sure you are ok getting involved with someone that has cheated on their dad.

Stay back and wait for the smoke to clear man, that way you can have some time to sort your head as well.

She's got her own emotional issues to deal with.

In a way, our relationship was an escape for both of us.

I'm taking things easy, not really worried about it now.

It's the aftermath and trying to understand how I got so wrapped up in her that I'm dealing with.

She did consider me for a longterm relationship at one point because she's shared pictures of her children with me, family portraits of her family etc.

I still have the photos, actually.

You don't do that with someone you consider only for sexual laison.



DIV

[busyB]

She's got her own emotional issues to deal with.

In a way, our relationship was an escape for both of us.

I'm taking things easy, not really worried about it now.

It's the aftermath and trying to understand how I got so wrapped up in her that I'm dealing with.

She did consider me for a longterm relationship at one point because she's shared pictures of her children with me, family portraits of her family etc.

I still have the photos, actually.

You don't do that with someone you consider only for sexual laison.



DIV

Been there man, they shaer pictures yes, but these women have not had a close relationship with their man for so long, they get attached as well.

Dont beat your head on why you fell for her, when you are sharing those kind of moments and that level of emotions, it is hard not to deveolp serious feelings for someone. Learn from it and you will be stronger for the next relationship.

[abc123]

Actually, I grew up LDS, but luckily escaped in my late teens.  Trab is correct in what he says about "The Church," but I still say NO WAY should you even think about getting involved with a woman who cheated on her husband with you.  Go out and get some strange to get your mind off of her and forget about her.

[trab]

I hope I dont hurt any friends feelings here, but Ive allways been blunt & real.
Cant cover it up or hide or explaine it away to me.

Ive got a couple good LDS friends out there, but.... 

WTF! Its Soooooooooooo...... strange and selfabsorbed.

No way I want a LDS President after seeing how social services are run there....
Good God, woud anyone but a LDS member have a chance?

I'd be very concerned about emotional imvolvment w/ a girl with any ties to that religion.

[DIVISION]

Been there man, they shaer pictures yes, but these women have not had a close relationship with their man for so long, they get attached as well.

Dont beat your head on why you fell for her, when you are sharing those kind of moments and that level of emotions, it is hard not to deveolp serious feelings for someone. Learn from it and you will be stronger for the next relationship.

Learning.........bro, Learning.......

We'll see what the future holds.

I'll still talk to her on IM, still have her phone number.

I don't know if I can just be "friends" with her.

Might be too hard.


DIV

[busyB]

Learning.........bro, Learning.......

We'll see what the future holds.

I'll still talk to her on IM, still have her phone number.

I don't know if I can just be "friends" with her.

Might be too hard.


DIV

Always is bro....keep plugging away man, we have plenty of hot women in our town to keep your dick, I mean mind occupied....

[Overload]

Div,

i think everyone has pointed out the obvious and i agree with what Luv, Rim and trab are saying. she seems like an emotional rollercoaster and the fact that she also went towards her high school sweetheart shows she is in a backwards slide to reform her past. basically she wants to make up for lost time during her horrible wedding days. you might have been a rebound or she might have really liked you, either way she is pushing you away.

you are a calm and down to earth guy but this women is taking you for a ride, well from what i can tell at least. she might like you but she might also be scared of a new serious relationship, specially with kids involved. most women like to run wild after a divorce, I've seen this first hand. I've had women try to use me as their "talk to" guy when they were having divorce issues. every time they tried to get me to sleep with them but i never did because i respect that wedding right. I'm not saying what you did was wrong by any means, but I've never actually done it so i don't know how it feels. you didn't cheat, she did.

i will say that sometimes we find the "one" and it changes your every breath. I've dated and slept with tons of women and i never imagined settling for one. but about a year ago i met a girl that changed my entire outlook on life and it was the best thing that happen to me. she had just broken up from an 8 year engagement with a doctor and i met her when she was still down, just a few months after the breakup. he had treated her like shit(controlled her every movement) and cheated on her while he was away for training. after talking with her and her broken English for 3 days i couldn't imagine how anyone could hurt a girl like this, she is the most thoughtful person I've met in my entire life. her life has been filled with hardship and war, most women have no idea what she has been through from an early age.

we moved into a relationship rather quickly and we both have enjoyed so much with each other that we never thought was possible(due to our different cultures). i wouldn't say i was her "rebound" by any means, because we are still head over heals with each other a year later. this girl has been through more hardship than anyone could imagine, so i hold her very close to my heart and i feel i am here to protect her from any more harm. this is the first girl i can hold through the night and not think of sex the entire time, i truly care for her every breath.

now i'm dealing with "her" family, and they do not approve of me because i'm "white". i find this odd but it's the way vietnamese culture is in the old tradition. her family won't even speak to me, but i'm still trying hard to prove them wrong. it's taken a toll on her to fight her family over me, and that's unheard of in her culture. family mean everything to them but i'm stuck in the middle. time will tell...

what I'm saying is i guess you would know by now if she was the "one". judging by "her" actions i would tell you to move on but i know when a girl rings your bell it is very hard to walk away. i was attracted to a girl many years ago that didn't want me for anything more than a "good time". i fell for this girl and it was one of the hardest things i went through. it took me years to get over her. this is why you must let her go, for your own sake.

now i truly am happy with the girl I'm with now, and for the first time in my life I'm not thinking about other women, but I'm thinking about my future family(which for me is very strange). she is one of the main reasons why i don't use AAS anymore, because i know i would break her heart if i told her i used them. she doesn't understand AAS and i don't feel the need to bring her into that world out of respect for her. I've always been a selfish man until now, these days i think of her first. when you live and breathe a womens name all day, you know she is the one...i have changed my life completely to hold this girls hand and it's all been worth every second!...just ask trab

good luck my friend, i feel you are educated enough to make a good decision, but i hope you walk away unharmed, she seems i little scared to be with you.