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[Luv2Hurt]

I hope you're right bro, cause this is the most agonizing pain I have ever been in.

 I know some would say that's being weak and that you should never let a woman ask you to give stuff up...those people have never truly been in love. If they think they have then their only kidding themselves because actual love will turn your world upside down in good and bad ways

Look at this as a test for you two.  If you can make it through this it is a sign things may be able to last. Things will come up but better to find out now if your love can endure.  Just rest assured your a good man and just keep being who you are.  If its from the past thats what it is the PAST now is now let her know that.  Stay Strong man it will work out the way it is supposed to one way or another, "theres nowhere you can be that isn't where your meant to be."


Love hurts, love scars,
Love wounds, and marks,
Any heart, not tough,
Or strong, enough
To take a lot of pain,
Take a lot of pain
Love is like a cloud
Holds a lot of rain
Love hurts, ooh ooh love hurts

I'm young, I know,
But even so
I know a thing, or two
I learned, from you
I really learned a lot,
Really learned a lot
Love is like a flame
It burns you when its hot
Love hurts, ooh ooh love hurts

Some fools think of happiness
Blissfulness, togetherness
Some fools fool themselves I guess
They're not foolin me

I know it isnt true,
I know it isnt true
Love is just a lie,
Made to make you blue
Love hurts, ooh,ooh love hurts
Ooh,ooh love hurts

[guitar solo]

I know it isnt true,
I know it isnt true
Love is just a lie,
Made to make you blue
Love hurts, ooh ooh love hurts
Ooh ooh love hurts
Ooh ooh...

[Arnold jr]

Thanks guys.

She came over this afternoon and we talked for several hours. She is still hurt, everything is still up in the air but at least she's not gone. She is coming back over here tomorrow morning and I would guess tomorrow will make or break us one way or the other...course I am pulling for make. I have said almost everything I can say, still a little more to say and I will say it tomorrow. After that it is all in her hands.

...and no, for those wondering, I have yet to raise my voice to her...actually I never have raised my voice and yelled with her. And no, as I said I did not cheat on her and no, I did not strike her in anyway. Thought I'd throw that out there since I am sure some are wondering.

You know it's weird, with relationship type things I have always had a pretty easy time with it all. But the last 2 years has been a roller coaster. Maybe it's because I have gotten older and gotten more serious about what I want...probably.

[Rimbaud]

Aaarrrggghhh! It's been almost a week & I still can't find my fucking iPod. 

[4thAD]

Thanks guys.

She came over this afternoon and we talked for several hours. She is still hurt, everything is still up in the air but at least she's not gone. She is coming back over here tomorrow morning and I would guess tomorrow will make or break us one way or the other...course I am pulling for make. I have said almost everything I can say, still a little more to say and I will say it tomorrow. After that it is all in her hands.

...and no, for those wondering, I have yet to raise my voice to her...actually I never have raised my voice and yelled with her. And no, as I said I did not cheat on her and no, I did not strike her in anyway. Thought I'd throw that out there since I am sure some are wondering.

You know it's weird, with relationship type things I have always had a pretty easy time with it all. But the last 2 years has been a roller coaster. Maybe it's because I have gotten older and gotten more serious about what I want...probably.

If you guys truly love each other you will make it work no matter what. I have seen couples even make it through infidelity. Sometimes these things bring people together and make relationships stronger. I have been through the wringer with my relationship, let me tell you. I'm always here for you bro and if you ever need to talk, PM me AJ and I'll give you my #! You are one of the ones on this board I know I can trust with it (there's a few of you). I have a gut feeling you guys will be fine, and usually my gut is right!

[Overload]

The fact that she is still around and talking about it is a VERY good sign AJ.

Just maintain your composure and try to stay positive!

Good luck man!

[Rimbaud]

The fact that she is still around and talking about it is a VERY good sign AJ.

Just maintain your composure and try to stay positive!

Good luck man!

I agree with you 100%.

[DIVISION]

Guys I just need to get this out. I will try not to bring the board down with my own mess but need to get this out in some way.

Luv, Rim and Rip are I think the only ones on here that know I got engaged a couple wks ago. She is the best and most wonderful woman I have ever had in my life and she means the world to me and I would do anything in this world for her.

Point being, yesterday, I fucked up our relationship in a major way. No, I did not cheat on her, I would never cheat on her. What I did is in my opinion much worse. I am not going to go into detail with what happened, even though I am sharing some hard personal information, I'm leaving that part out because it's to personal.

I don't know if we'll be able to work through this or not. She is mad, but she is more hurt and crushed then anything else and it has absolutely devastated me as well. I can honestly say I have never felt as horrible as I do right now. Yes, believe it or not, I have cried my eyes out all night, I have cried all morning and will more then likely continue to cry for a good while. Yes even bad asses like Arnold jr. can end up crying. It may be rare but it does happen.

We are supposed to meet up at some point today and talk, so any of you guys that throw up prayers please throw one up for me. I do not want to lose this woman. Needless to say I have taken the day off from work, there is no way I could step foot in the gym today since I would only end up crying and breaking down in public. That wouldn’t be to pretty. So for now, I guess I will be sitting here in agonizing anticipation of what’s to come later today when she and I meet.

Thanks for listening guys.

Thanks guys.

She came over this afternoon and we talked for several hours. She is still hurt, everything is still up in the air but at least she's not gone. She is coming back over here tomorrow morning and I would guess tomorrow will make or break us one way or the other...course I am pulling for make. I have said almost everything I can say, still a little more to say and I will say it tomorrow. After that it is all in her hands.

...and no, for those wondering, I have yet to raise my voice to her...actually I never have raised my voice and yelled with her. And no, as I said I did not cheat on her and no, I did not strike her in anyway. Thought I'd throw that out there since I am sure some are wondering.

You know it's weird, with relationship type things I have always had a pretty easy time with it all. But the last 2 years has been a roller coaster. Maybe it's because I have gotten older and gotten more serious about what I want...probably.

Look, baby Arnold........

We're all brothers here in some fashion.

Just tell us what the fuck you did already.

Stop being so evasive and give us the truth.

Our opinions may go a long way in saving your relationship. 



DIV

[strength]

Guys I just need to get this out. I will try not to bring the board down with my own mess but need to get this out in some way.

Luv, Rim and Rip are I think the only ones on here that know I got engaged a couple wks ago. She is the best and most wonderful woman I have ever had in my life and she means the world to me and I would do anything in this world for her.

Point being, yesterday, I fucked up our relationship in a major way. No, I did not cheat on her, I would never cheat on her. What I did is in my opinion much worse. I am not going to go into detail with what happened, even though I am sharing some hard personal information, I'm leaving that part out because it's to personal.

I don't know if we'll be able to work through this or not. She is mad, but she is more hurt and crushed then anything else and it has absolutely devastated me as well. I can honestly say I have never felt as horrible as I do right now. Yes, believe it or not, I have cried my eyes out all night, I have cried all morning and will more then likely continue to cry for a good while. Yes even bad asses like Arnold jr. can end up crying. It may be rare but it does happen.

We are supposed to meet up at some point today and talk, so any of you guys that throw up prayers please throw one up for me. I do not want to lose this woman. Needless to say I have taken the day off from work, there is no way I could step foot in the gym today since I would only end up crying and breaking down in public. That wouldn’t be to pretty. So for now, I guess I will be sitting here in agonizing anticipation of what’s to come later today when she and I meet.

Thanks for listening guys.

I know i am a little late but best of luck bro,

God Bless,  I am praying for you !

[Arnold jr]

Look, baby Arnold........

We're all brothers here in some fashion.

Just tell us what the fuck you did already.

Stop being so evasive and give us the truth.

Our opinions may go a long way in saving your relationship. 



DIV

I appreciate the offer for advice, and I'm not trying to be a smart ass, but I did not post this because I was looking for advise. I shared what I shared simply because I was upset, but when it comes to certain details in my life, some things are just to personal to share...especially on the internet.

I know i am a little late but best of luck bro,

God Bless,  I am praying for you !

I appreciate it bro.

It's been nearly a wk and things are looking better. Where we'll go from here I'm not sure, time will tell.

You know I've broken up with girls for less then what I did here...I once broke up with a girl because I thought she had ugly feet and they grossed me out, lol! She must really love me to still be hanging around, and I know she does, so that's good.

[Rimbaud]

I was getting a little worried. You hadn't posted in awhile. Glad the see things are looking on the bright side.

[DIVISION]

I appreciate the offer for advice, and I'm not trying to be a smart ass, but I did not post this because I was looking for advise. I shared what I shared simply because I was upset, but when it comes to certain details in my life, some things are just to personal to share...especially on the internet.
I appreciate it bro.

Look, you said you didn't cheat on her but you did something much worse.......

.........so what did you do exactly?

I can't really think of anything worse than cheating in terms of a relationship.

Are you sure you're not being too emotional about all of this?   



DIV

[benz]

Thanks guys.

She came over this afternoon and we talked for several hours. She is still hurt, everything is still up in the air but at least she's not gone. She is coming back over here tomorrow morning and I would guess tomorrow will make or break us one way or the other...course I am pulling for make. I have said almost everything I can say, still a little more to say and I will say it tomorrow. After that it is all in her hands.

...and no, for those wondering, I have yet to raise my voice to her...actually I never have raised my voice and yelled with her. And no, as I said I did not cheat on her and no, I did not strike her in anyway. Thought I'd throw that out there since I am sure some are wondering.

You know it's weird, with relationship type things I have always had a pretty easy time with it all. But the last 2 years has been a roller coaster. Maybe it's because I have gotten older and gotten more serious about what I want...probably.

You know i have no problems with you, but until now, i always thought you were homosexual lol. And yes im serious about that

Btw, being MORE serious about what you want is just great, that means you want a family, or perm access to sex

[Arnold jr]

Look, you said you didn't cheat on her but you did something much worse.......

.........so what did you do exactly?

I can't really think of anything worse than cheating in terms of a relationship.

Are you sure you're not being too emotional about all of this?   



DIV

Positive. Look somethings are just better left unsaid...I share a lot of my personal info on this board but in some instances I choose to keep certain aspects to myself...don't know what else to say about it.

You know i have no problems with you, but until now, i always thought you were homosexual lol. And yes im serious about that

Btw, being MORE serious about what you want is just great, that means you want a family, or perm access to sex

Really, lol? What made you think I was gay?

...and no I'm not gay, but weird to me why you would think that. What have I said that would lead you to that thought?

[benz]

Positive. Look somethings are just better left unsaid...I share a lot of my personal info on this board but in some instances I choose to keep certain aspects to myself...don't know what else to say about it.

Really, lol? What made you think I was gay?

...and no I'm not gay, but weird to me why you would think that. What have I said that would lead you to that thought?

I read a post about you and your boyfriend?!?!?!?!?! here, like, a year ago or even more back when i joined, ive been trying to find it AND while im writting this, i think its in a post you started about when you started juicing maybe? lol maybe i read wrong and been thinking you were gay!

[Arnold jr]

I read a post about you and your boyfriend?!?!?!?!?! here, like, a year ago or even more back when i joined, ive been trying to find it AND while im writting this, i think its in a post you started about when you started juicing maybe? lol maybe i read wrong and been thinking you were gay!

That literally made me laugh out loud!

You're going to have to show me that post. Either you read something completely wrong or I made a post and wrote it completely the wrong way, lol!

Now one of my old training partners used to come on this board and talk a bunch of shit about me...just in good fun. But that was well over a year ago, more like 2 years ago.

[benz]

That literally made me laugh out loud!

You're going to have to show me that post. Either you read something completely wrong or I made a post and wrote it completely the wrong way, lol!

Now one of my old training partners used to come on this board and talk a bunch of shit about me...just in good fun. But that was well over a year ago, more like 2 years ago.

now that you mention training partner, yes, it was something like you and your training partner but i cant stop thinking i read it in one of the sticked threads, never wanted to ask until now

[DIVISION]

Positive. Look somethings are just better left unsaid...I share a lot of my personal info on this board but in some instances I choose to keep certain aspects to myself...don't know what else to say about it.

When it comes to relationships, alot of it is black and white.

I can't think of what you did that could have been worse than cheating.

If your relationship isn't strong enough at this point that you know for sure that it will survive this ordeal, then it's probably not meant to be.

Honesty goes a long way with people and if you aren't honest with yourself and her and each other when it comes to wanting to be together, then you probably SHOULD NOT  be together.

Dr. Phil is an idiot and I just hope your situation isn't something basic and ridiculous like something I'd see on that show.

Please tell me you have some common sense and that you are emotionally mature enough to know when to salvage a relationship and when to walk away.

Bodybuilders have a bad reputation when it comes to relationships and often it's for a good reason...........most of them are not emotionally mature and able to have relationships.

I just hope you're not that guy.  


DIV

[Arnold jr]

When it comes to relationships, alot of it is black and white.

I can't think of what you did that could have been worse than cheating.

If your relationship isn't strong enough at this point that you know for sure that it will survive this ordeal, then it's probably not meant to be.

Honesty goes a long way with people and if you aren't honest with yourself and her and each other when it comes to wanting to be together, then you probably SHOULD NOT  be together.

Dr. Phil is an idiot and I just hope your situation isn't something basic and ridiculous like something I'd see on that show.

Please tell me you have some common sense and that you are emotionally mature enough to know when to salvage a relationship and when to walk away.

Bodybuilders have a bad reputation when it comes to relationships and often it's for a good reason...........most of them are not emotionally mature and able to have relationships.

I just hope you're not that guy.  


DIV

I agree with everything you said...especially about Dr. Phil.

My relationship with her is I believe very strong, we wouldn't be still working through things if it wasn't IMO. As far as honesty, I have never once lied to her about anything. Even when some would say I might should have lied, I have always been honest. It's kind of one of my pet peeves...I have never allowed myself to be dishonest about anything with anyone. I don't say that to sound self righteous, it's simply the way it is.

...and I know what you mean about most BB not being able to have solid relationships...I have been guilty of this myself on more then one occasion. However I do feel I've grown a lot in recent years. Yes, for a long time I was "that guy" the one so obsessed with BB that I couldn't see anything else.

BB is hardly my main focus anymore, not even remotely. I realize I wasted a lot of time in my 20's on BB; yes, I learned a lot and no I don't have regrets about what I've done when it comes to that, it's because of BB that I enjoy my line of work now. But I made BB my primary focus for a long time, and because of that other aspects of my life suffered. I realize that now. No one can tell someone this, it's something everyone has to come to on their own.

So what is my main focus now? I still train, but I don't' let it rule my life. My focus is about building a solid and quality life for myself and those around me who I love. That's enough to keep my plate full

[DIVISION]

I agree with everything you said...especially about Dr. Phil.

My relationship with her is I believe very strong, we wouldn't be still working through things if it wasn't IMO. As far as honesty, I have never once lied to her about anything. Even when some would say I might should have lied, I have always been honest. It's kind of one of my pet peeves...I have never allowed myself to be dishonest about anything with anyone. I don't say that to sound self righteous, it's simply the way it is.

...and I know what you mean about most BB not being able to have solid relationships...I have been guilty of this myself on more then one occasion. However I do feel I've grown a lot in recent years. Yes, for a long time I was "that guy" the one so obsessed with BB that I couldn't see anything else.

BB is hardly my main focus anymore, not even remotely. I realize I wasted a lot of time in my 20's on BB; yes, I learned a lot and no I don't have regrets about what I've done when it comes to that, it's because of BB that I enjoy my line of work now. But I made BB my primary focus for a long time, and because of that other aspects of my life suffered. I realize that now. No one can tell someone this, it's something everyone has to come to on their own.

So what is my main focus now? I still train, but I don't' let it rule my life. My focus is about building a solid and quality life for myself and those around me who I love. That's enough to keep my plate full

I don't see it as "losing" time, because I spent most of my twenties lifting and I learned alot along the way.

I know my body better than most people know theirs and that's why I'm a decent trainer with a fairly deep knowledge of AAS to boot.

I wasn't ready for a longterm relationship in my twenties, wasn't developed enough for it then.

I am now, but I'm also alot more picky in terms of the type of women I'd want for a relationship so in that sense it really is good to be single.

Honesty is the most important thing, with yourself and with others.

Unfortunately, when you are honest with women they often don't know how to take it because they are used to men who lie and play games.

I may remain single because I am too honest......but I'm always going to be one of those guys who expresses expectations at the beginning of a relationship and my deal-breakers aren't negotiable.

Many women want to try and change a man, and those women never get to step 1 with me.

I make the rules.........that's the first rule.


DIV

[Arnold jr]

I don't see it as "losing" time, because I spent most of my twenties lifting and I learned alot along the way.

I know my body better than most people know theirs and that's why I'm a decent trainer with a fairly deep knowledge of AAS to boot.

I wasn't ready for a longterm relationship in my twenties, wasn't developed enough for it then.

I am now, but I'm also alot more picky in terms of the type of women I'd want for a relationship so in that sense it really is good to be single.

Honesty is the most important thing, with yourself and with others.

Unfortunately, when you are honest with women they often don't know how to take it because they are used to men who lie and play games.

I may remain single because I am too honest......but I'm always going to be one of those guys who expresses expectations at the beginning of a relationship and my deal-breakers aren't negotiable.

Many women want to try and change a man, and those women never get to step 1 with me.

I make the rules.........that's the first rule.


DIV

My comment about "wasted time" my point was, in my case, BB was always first, the rest of life came second, and only if it didn't interfere with BB. Now the rest of my life comes first, BB is definitely second. I know you can lift and train and live a BB lifestyle and still have your other priorities in line, but if those other priorities don't come first then you're fucked IMO

Looking back, I could and should be so much further ahead in life if I hadn't prioritized BB as the ultimate end all to end all. No, my life isn't bad, and no, I'm not living in self pity or remorse, just saying how I see it and learning from my mistakes.

In my 20's I learned a lot about BB, about how the body responds to food and all that stuff. Because of that I have had some decent success as a trainer, because of that the competitors I get to work with seem to typically fair well. So I am not completely knocking how I lived and breathed for the better part of the last decade.

Speaking of personal training, I don't know how it is in your neck of the woods, but here in the Nashville area it has gotten pretty slow for most everyone. Thank God for my other job.

[DIVISION]

My comment about "wasted time" my point was, in my case, BB was always first, the rest of life came second, and only if it didn't interfere with BB. Now the rest of my life comes first, BB is definitely second. I know you can lift and train and live a BB lifestyle and still have your other priorities in line, but if those other priorities don't come first then you're fucked IMO

Looking back, I could and should be so much further ahead in life if I hadn't prioritized BB as the ultimate end all to end all. No, my life isn't bad, and no, I'm not living in self pity or remorse, just saying how I see it and learning from my mistakes.

In my 20's I learned a lot about BB, about how the body responds to food and all that stuff. Because of that I have had some decent success as a trainer, because of that the competitors I get to work with seem to typically fair well. So I am not completely knocking how I lived and breathed for the better part of the last decade.

Speaking of personal training, I don't know how it is in your neck of the woods, but here in the Nashville area it has gotten pretty slow for most everyone. Thank God for my other job.

Personal training in Phoenix is pretty good and it pays working for a private studio.

If you work for a corporate gym you are basically making nothing and being a trainer (slave) for them basically pays for the gym membership.

Once you have training experience, you can do whatever you want provided you are good as a trainer and versatile.

Being a personal trainer is one of those jobs where you need to look the part as well as be able to get results.

It's a very superficial business and many women have told me that they've chosen me over other trainers simply because I look like a bodybuilder, versus most of the others who look more like "fitness trainers".

Having muscle helps get your foot in the door to actually show what you can do........that's here in Phoenix.

Not to knock the "fitness" types, but if you don't look like you can bench your bodyweight, how can you expect anyone else to have any faith you'll be able to get them to achieve their goals?

...............but my first love is Psychology.....lifting only came natural.   



DIV

[Arnold jr]

Personal training in Phoenix is pretty good and it pays working for a private studio.

If you work for a corporate gym you are basically making nothing and being a trainer (slave) for them basically pays for the gym membership.

Once you have training experience, you can do whatever you want provided you are good as a trainer and versatile.

Being a personal trainer is one of those jobs where you need to look the part as well as be able to get results.

It's a very superficial business and many women have told me that they've chosen me over other trainers simply because I look like a bodybuilder, versus most of the others who look more like "fitness trainers".

Having muscle helps get your foot in the door to actually show what you can do........that's here in Phoenix.

Not to knock the "fitness" types, but if you don't look like you can bench your bodyweight, how can you expect anyone else to have any faith you'll be able to get them to achieve their goals?

...............but my first love is Psychology.....lifting only came natural.   



DIV

I don't work in a private studio, it's a chain gym. But I do not work for the gym and wouldn't work for a gym. Work for myself, I pay a $400 a month rent to work there, and I am expected to put in 2 hours a wk at the front desk to answer questions...that's it.

Business is just slow simply because the economy is slow. For most people if they get tight, it's one of the first things they cut back on. And I don't blame them, it's not cheap. I still have clients, I would like more though...always want more. The goal is to get to where I only train competitors and have employees who work for me that train the rest. Eventually I may get out of actually training people and simply oversee a training business. Training company's are tough to manage and tough to keep solid employees, but of all the most successful trainers out there, it's these that have the most success...those who get their business running like a business. Lot of money to be made in that, but very easy to screw up...of course that can be said about anything.

[DIVISION]

I don't work in a private studio, it's a chain gym. But I do not work for the gym and wouldn't work for a gym. Work for myself, I pay a $400 a month rent to work there, and I am expected to put in 2 hours a wk at the front desk to answer questions...that's it.

Business is just slow simply because the economy is slow. For most people if they get tight, it's one of the first things they cut back on. And I don't blame them, it's not cheap. I still have clients, I would like more though...always want more. The goal is to get to where I only train competitors and have employees who work for me that train the rest. Eventually I may get out of actually training people and simply oversee a training business. Training company's are tough to manage and tough to keep solid employees, but of all the most successful trainers out there, it's these that have the most success...those who get their business running like a business. Lot of money to be made in that, but very easy to screw up...of course that can be said about anything.

The economy is killing personal training in general but the clientelle who can afford private studio training are business professional types who can afford it.

They make enough money that the training is just a dent in what they'd spend on something else disposable.....

I work with the owner of the studio and have a key and my own control over everything I do.......including what I charge.

I basically just pay him a straight cut of what I make, for the use of his name and studio.

I don't think I'd open a personal training business simply because of the headaches involved and dealing with trainers and their own personal issues.

I think of PT as a side thing, something for fun and some exposure........and connections/networking.



DIV

[Arnold jr]

I don't think I'd open a personal training business simply because of the headaches involved and dealing with trainers and their own personal issues.





DIV

That's pretty much the case with any business though. But it can be done and it can be done quite well.

[DIVISION]

That's pretty much the case with any business though. But it can be done and it can be done quite well.

.........true, I suppose what I'm saying is that the headache just isn't for me.

I'd rather just deal with a few people, come and go as I please and get paid.

I wouldn't mind working with high-level competitors, and mostly strength athletes but that's a niche market.



DIV