Author Topic: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.  (Read 49106 times)

Humble Narcissist

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Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #200 on: December 19, 2022, 01:18:19 AM »
Couldn't even look her in the eyes afterwards.
:D It would have been much worse if the doctor was a dude.

Phantom Spunker

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Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #201 on: December 19, 2022, 11:29:10 AM »
I would 100% eat a human being if they consented to it. I see no moral reason why people should not be allowed to donate their bodies to the meat industry when they die.

Phantom Spunker

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Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #202 on: December 19, 2022, 11:31:43 AM »
https://www.webmd.com/sex/prostate-orgasm-what-it-is

Amazing. Thanks, Prime. That's so weird: when I woke up this morning I was really hoping a pensioner would link me something gay.

Phantom Spunker

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Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #203 on: December 22, 2022, 02:36:52 AM »
My appreciation for Miley Cyrus continues to grow. I feel like she and I would be great friends.

AbrahamG

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Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #204 on: December 22, 2022, 09:53:43 AM »
Amazing. Thanks, Prime. That's so weird: when I woke up this morning I was really hoping a pensioner would link me something gay.

If Prime was really a friend he'd have forwarded you Matt's jerk off video.

chaos

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Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #205 on: December 22, 2022, 04:16:30 PM »
I would 100% eat a human being if they consented to it. I'd also probably eat enemies in a time of war if it wasn't frowned upon. I see no moral reason why people should not be allowed to donate their bodies to the meat industry when they die.
Any situation that would require me to eat people, would not require their consent.
Liar!!!!Filt!!!!

Phantom Spunker

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Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #206 on: December 22, 2022, 10:56:24 PM »
Any situation that would require me to eat people, would not require their consent.

Welcome, old bean. I'd love to murder and eat an annoying Chinese man in a survival situation - but I was first thinking about it after I once walked over a landmine that didn't go off. If it did, I'd have liked to have had my leg preserved and then prepared by a chef for everyone to sample.

If Prime was really a friend he'd have forwarded you Matt's jerk off video.

It makes me laugh how Prime pretended that he wasn't happy about being sent it, lol. There's no way he wasn't over the moon. I can picture him feigning disgust and being like 'uugh, sick, I simply can't look!' while staring at it like a hypnotized chicken.

If a woman sent me a video of her frigging herself silly, the strongest emotion I might feel is mild amusement if she was a pig. 

Phantom Spunker

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Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #207 on: December 23, 2022, 11:32:58 PM »
Christmas Eve dicks all over Christmas Day. So much better. Feeling very nostalgic listening to one of the old GOAT singers while eating Ferrero Rocher and drinking coffee for breakfast.


Phantom Spunker

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Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #208 on: December 30, 2022, 02:00:07 AM »
Inspired by the magnanimous Colonel Hans Landa, I decided to attempt apple strudel for breakfast. Came out awesome. I could honestly shag myself sometimes.

Phantom Spunker

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Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #209 on: January 02, 2023, 01:40:57 PM »
God, this woman is a work of art:


Phantom Spunker

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Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #210 on: January 03, 2023, 12:09:13 PM »
Holy fuck. I'm officially a basement-dwelling, mouth-breathing cyberbully, according to YouTube, lol:

Commenting paused to protect the community
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'Protect the community'  ::). I've never consistently posted anything on the same channel, and certainly never 'cyberbullied' anyone (aside from slagging off that little fanny 'Daily Dose of Internet' guy a few times. I literally just occasionally post joking comments and shit puns, lol. This is an outrage. I'm contacting Harley.

Humble Narcissist

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Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #211 on: January 04, 2023, 01:32:01 AM »
God, this woman is a work of art:


Very beautiful woman.

Phantom Spunker

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Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #212 on: January 07, 2023, 01:26:04 AM »
After all of his recent religious ramblings, and in fearing for his health, I've decided to immortalize Shizzo in poem. I hope this creative streak continues so that I can pay tribute to Goodrum or Prime next, as well as continue Getbig's Uranus Space Mission.

Shizzo's Sonnet

He sits in night-time’s contemplative black,
Abandoned and unable to abstain,
His bloated body like a half-filled sack,
His mind a mess of vapid thoughts and shame;
When considering his own fate so cruel,
He is confronted with the question ‘why?’
Why must all men endure God’s callous rule,
To live, but for a moment, and then die;
In days before he turned to Holy Writ,
In atonement for his life of error,
But knowing now it’s all a load of shit,
It brings not peace, but sobering terror;
Before Shaun leaves us for life hereafter,
I preserve him now for Getbig’s laughter.

Phantom Spunker

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Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #213 on: January 08, 2023, 01:44:36 AM »
Oh Lord, I'm out of coffee. I can't move, I can't think, I have a dull headache threatening me. I feel like I've been spiked (again). I must find the energy to go and buy more before I perish.

Humble Narcissist

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Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #214 on: January 09, 2023, 12:42:08 AM »
Oh Lord, I'm out of coffee. I can't move, I can't think, I have a dull headache threatening me. I feel like I've been spiked (again). I must find the energy to go and buy more before I perish.
Always stock up on necessities like coffee and toilet paper.

Phantom Spunker

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Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #215 on: January 09, 2023, 09:16:40 AM »
Always stock up on necessities like coffee and toilet paper.

Words of wisdom. I always do when I'm away, but this one is getting blamed on my girlfriend. She shall be punished.

Phantom Spunker

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Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #216 on: January 10, 2023, 02:22:46 AM »
Did a great, fast-paced run through the woods last night. I love night-time running to help clarify thoughts and focus the mind. Thankfully it has a path so there was minimal chance of decking it and breaking my ankle.

Phantom Spunker

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Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #217 on: January 13, 2023, 02:56:35 AM »
Some great tunes I've been constantly blasting on Spotify as I create culinary masterpieces in my kitchen:











Phantom Spunker

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Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #218 on: January 14, 2023, 09:47:47 AM »


Je-sus Christ. I may have found perfection:





Phantom Spunker

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Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #219 on: January 14, 2023, 02:03:09 PM »
The frail and fragile bars containing my bestial desire to sexually conquer every hot woman on Earth are now reinforced with mind-forged steel. I accept that I must overcome these impulses through reason rather than wait to eventually be humbled by the hand of Father Time, haggard and alone, spending my final years surrounded by pigeons that I’ve befriended.

This is, I hasten to add, not a calculated decision designed to maximize the happiness of my future self, but a recognition of love and a respect for the responsibility that it demands. It’s been a good run. It’s been a great run, but I am done. I must accept this. I’ve always suspected that I’m not long for this world, but monogamy now at least gives me a reason to embrace the idea of an early exit. Happy memories for them; no more torment for me.

Humble Narcissist

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Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #220 on: January 15, 2023, 12:13:08 AM »
She looks like she has a touch of the "tism."

Phantom Spunker

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Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #221 on: January 15, 2023, 12:28:35 AM »
She looks like she has a touch of the "tism."

I did think that myself from certain angles, but some say these 'tism' characters are hyper-sexual. Like turbo-charged, insatiable maniacs in the sack. Hotter than Dutch love, no?

Humble Narcissist

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Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #222 on: January 15, 2023, 12:29:55 AM »
I did think that myself from certain angles, but some say these 'tism' characters are hyper-sexual. Like turbo-charged, insatiable maniacs in the sack. Hotter than Dutch love, no?
Just make sure she doesn't bite your pecker off.

Phantom Spunker

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Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #223 on: January 15, 2023, 12:30:24 AM »
Just make sure she doesn't bite your pecker off.

bro...

Humble Narcissist

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