Author Topic: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.  (Read 12763 times)

Phantom Spunker

  • Competitors
  • Getbig III
  • *****
  • Posts: 961
Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #200 on: May 20, 2022, 10:46:01 AM »
I'd love to batter Mr. Miyagi. Actually, any old Asian man will do, to be honest. Just as long as he's a deluded martial artist who think he can calmly palm away a haymaker and subdue me with his chi.

Phantom Spunker

  • Competitors
  • Getbig III
  • *****
  • Posts: 961
Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #201 on: May 20, 2022, 11:09:18 AM »
Exciting times ahead. Life took a nosedive recently with the death of a parent, and I really now need to be back in the UK, but I may have just found the perfect flat to buy. I shall celebrate this weekend with my best friends, whiskey, and a ton of junk food.

Phantom Spunker

  • Competitors
  • Getbig III
  • *****
  • Posts: 961
Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #202 on: May 22, 2022, 09:52:24 AM »
I wish I became a tailor; it's such an awesome skill to have. It must be such a relaxing and gratifying job.


Phantom Spunker

  • Competitors
  • Getbig III
  • *****
  • Posts: 961
Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #203 on: May 22, 2022, 10:07:41 AM »
I'd get profound joy from breaking Gary Barlow's fat fingers. How the fuck is he one of the UK's 'greatest songwriters'? All his songs are dog shit. He's always popping up somewhere, dicking about on a piano and shouting 'C'mon kids!' before launching into some nonsense that sounds like a school singalong.

Phantom Spunker

  • Competitors
  • Getbig III
  • *****
  • Posts: 961
Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #204 on: May 22, 2022, 10:33:51 AM »
Listening to Billy Joel's 'Vienna'.

Phantom Spunker

  • Competitors
  • Getbig III
  • *****
  • Posts: 961
Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #205 on: May 24, 2022, 11:37:35 AM »
Currently in panic-mode and deleting all my YouTube comments.

Phantom Spunker

  • Competitors
  • Getbig III
  • *****
  • Posts: 961
Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #206 on: May 24, 2022, 11:40:41 AM »
Fuck, I've definitely watched women wax their bikini lines on more than one occasion, too. Search history is gonna have to get nuked.

Taffin

  • Getbig V
  • *****
  • Posts: 12481
  • Manlet's gonna manlet!
Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #207 on: May 24, 2022, 01:07:35 PM »
Currently in panic-mode and deleting all my YouTube comments.

LOL why..?
T

Phantom Spunker

  • Competitors
  • Getbig III
  • *****
  • Posts: 961
Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #208 on: May 24, 2022, 01:47:22 PM »
LOL why..?

It's my main email account linked to it, lol. And I'm sure it will definitely get viewed by my potential employers (paranoia, probably, as it's not supposed to be, but I've heard stories). I am royally fucked if they ever discover this place and read about me threatening to kick old ladies c*nts in and fantasizing about sleeping with ghetto trash, haha.

Phantom Spunker

  • Competitors
  • Getbig III
  • *****
  • Posts: 961
Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #209 on: May 25, 2022, 03:29:49 PM »
I generally refuse to watch anything with Tom Cruise in it, but I went to see the new Top Gun tonight with my two friends, and I must say, it was really good, haha. Utterly ridiculous in parts, but it had a nostalgic feel to it and they kept the cheesy 80s vibe. Felt great to be back in a cinema and doing normal things.

Phantom Spunker

  • Competitors
  • Getbig III
  • *****
  • Posts: 961
Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #210 on: June 02, 2022, 08:23:48 AM »
Got an urgent referral for mole removal as it looks like skin cancer, lol. Wish someone told me that sunbathing in the raging heat for months on end was bad for me. On the plus side, I bought two new suits and just got them back from the tailor. Lord have mercy, they're sharp. I should add a pic for reference. Pure wool, peak lapels, working buttons, side adjustors on the trousers... I'm in love.

Phantom Spunker

  • Competitors
  • Getbig III
  • *****
  • Posts: 961
Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #211 on: June 04, 2022, 12:57:38 AM »
Today has been a morning of unbridled savagery. I didn't realise I'd have to strip to my boxers for a skin check. I ran for a quick piss beforehand, and obviously didn't shake too well. when I stripped off, my heart stopped as I glanced down at yet another massive patch of piss spread out across my light blue boxers. I'm fucking turning into Liam Neeson or some shit. It was a female doctor, too.

And to top it off, I'm a fat cunt. I barely even have a hint of abs right now. I've ate 24 packs of scampi fries over the past two days. This has been the wake-up call I needed. It's time to stop fucking about and get back into fitness properly - diet included.

Phantom Spunker

  • Competitors
  • Getbig III
  • *****
  • Posts: 961
Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #212 on: June 04, 2022, 04:34:45 AM »
Oh, my! I fear I've become rather enamoured of the brutally-whorish, genetically-predisposed-heart-attack-victim-waiting-to-happen Miley Cyrus. She's got a great stage presence (no homo) and has a pretty awesome voice for covering a range of styles. She absolutely smashes this:



And she's actually looking pretty hot here. I could imagine a dangerously gay man like Primemuscle quickly becoming over-excited watching this live and having to be tazed by the police after galloping around on an imaginary horse and windmilling his penis at everyone.


Taffin

  • Getbig V
  • *****
  • Posts: 12481
  • Manlet's gonna manlet!
Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #213 on: June 04, 2022, 06:31:34 AM »
Today has been a morning of unbridled savagery. I didn't realise I'd have to strip to my boxers for a skin check. I'd ran for a quick piss beforehand, and obviously didn't shake too well. when I stripped off, my heart stopped as I glanced down at yet another massive patch of piss spread out across my light blue boxers. I'm fucking turning into Liam Neeson or some shit. It was a female doctor, too.

And to top it off, I'm a fat cunt. I barely even have a hint of abs right now. I've ate 24 packs of scampi fries over the past two days. This has been the wake-up call I needed. It's time to stop fucking about and get back into fitness properly - diet included.

Not your fault.

You, I, and Liam Neeson for that matter, all clearly suffer from the Celtic Curse (need a wheelbarrow to carry our c0cks round).  Trying to ensure our pipes are empty is not as easy as for your regular dudes...p1ss tracks are an occupational hazard...

Oh, and don't worry, I guarantee she was wet too... ;)
T

Phantom Spunker

  • Competitors
  • Getbig III
  • *****
  • Posts: 961
Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #214 on: June 04, 2022, 11:00:54 AM »
Not your fault.

You, I, and Liam Neeson for that matter, all clearly suffer from the Celtic Curse (need a wheelbarrow to carry our c0cks round).  Trying to ensure our pipes are empty is not as easy as for your regular dudes...p1ss tracks are an occupational hazard...

Oh, and don't worry, I guarantee she was wet too... ;)

What we need is a 'horse-cock' board, Taffin. Something elite. Approved members only. Those wanting to join have to send photographs to you, me and OneMoreRep.

Phantom Spunker

  • Competitors
  • Getbig III
  • *****
  • Posts: 961
Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #215 on: June 06, 2022, 02:50:41 AM »
Listening to Gerry Rafferty's 'Right Down the Line' and thinking hard about how much I'd like a piņa colada (no homo). I feel like drinking alcohol in the morning might be a great way for me to start my day.

Humble Narcissist

  • Getbig V
  • *****
  • Posts: 19543
Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #216 on: June 06, 2022, 12:13:12 PM »
Listening to Gerry Rafferty's 'Right Down the Line' and thinking hard about how much I'd like a piņa colada (no homo). I feel like drinking alcohol in the morning might be a great way for me to start my day.
Alcoholics around the world agree.

Taffin

  • Getbig V
  • *****
  • Posts: 12481
  • Manlet's gonna manlet!
Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #217 on: June 07, 2022, 07:06:32 AM »
Listening to Gerry Rafferty's 'Right Down the Line' and thinking hard about how much I'd like a piņa colada (no homo). I feel like drinking alcohol in the morning might be a great way for me to start my day.

Get your sweater ready ;D

T

Phantom Spunker

  • Competitors
  • Getbig III
  • *****
  • Posts: 961
Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #218 on: June 08, 2022, 06:41:02 AM »
Get your sweater ready ;D



Get a load of that guy, lol. Brutal sex-offender look. My girlfriend keeps unironically playing that song whenever she's making them. Total loser.

Phantom Spunker

  • Competitors
  • Getbig III
  • *****
  • Posts: 961
Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #219 on: June 11, 2022, 04:22:22 AM »
Dunno why this made me laugh so much, but it did. Martin just standing there getting absolutely roasted and accused of wearing fancy dress.  :D


AbrahamG

  • Getbig V
  • *****
  • Posts: 14947
  • In Oak We Trust
Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #220 on: June 11, 2022, 01:51:14 PM »
Exciting times ahead. Life took a nosedive recently with the death of a parent, and I really now need to be back in the UK, but I have secured interviews with two different departments to become a high-flying mandarin, and I may have just found the perfect flat to buy. I shall celebrate this weekend with my best friends, whiskey, and a ton of junk food.

I missed this post. Sorry to hear about your loss pal.

Phantom Spunker

  • Competitors
  • Getbig III
  • *****
  • Posts: 961
Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #221 on: June 11, 2022, 02:22:00 PM »
I missed this post. Sorry to hear about your loss pal.

Thanks, mate. I was expecting it to happen this year, and thankfully the voice in the back of my head told me to get back home just in time for it. I managed to spend a few days with them beforehand then sort everything out for the rest of the family with all the legal aspects. Also got back into running again as a stress reliever. It's always been the most effective way for me to organise my thoughts.

Phantom Spunker

  • Competitors
  • Getbig III
  • *****
  • Posts: 961
Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #222 on: June 25, 2022, 08:56:18 AM »
A trespassing tranny almost got mauled by a pack of dogs today at the beach, lol. It was a privilege to witness such a scene. I was at a tranquil little area for dog owners to lounge around and sunbathe. Quite a few hot slags around, some families, loads of dogs. It was a joyous occasion.

That was until a marauding transsexual came mincing over the sand dunes, shattered the relaxed ambiance, and sparked a fucking red alert that had all the dogs going absolutely mental and chasing him. I was pissing myself as all the dog owners scrambled to get them back on their leashes and prevent a bloodbath, lol. Some woman next to me was also in stitches at the sight of this gangly, 6'2" Tim Curry lookalike with bolt-on tits getting chased by about ten tiny terriers.

Strange how they all just sensed that something wasn't right with this person and instantly tried to kill them, haha.

Phantom Spunker

  • Competitors
  • Getbig III
  • *****
  • Posts: 961
Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #223 on: July 04, 2022, 04:15:23 AM »
I've asked Fat Ron (only joking, Ron) to delete this account just to be on the safe side for a little bit. He's never logged in, though. Still, if he manages to do so, I'll promptly return when the coast is clear. I've always wanted an 'is back' account.

Phantom Spunker

  • Competitors
  • Getbig III
  • *****
  • Posts: 961
After dinner the other night, I was joking with my girlfriend that I'd wash up all of her dishes if she could take two towel whips to her bare ass and unemotionally reply with 'thank you, sir, may I have another?' each time. She was up for the challenge, but I suddenly had a change of heart as I knew I'd likely cause actual damage.

To give a brief demonstration of what it would entail, I attempted to lightly flick my own bare foot with the kitchen towel first. Typically, I completely fucked it up and whipped the sole of my foot with enough force to generate a crack that sounded like a gunshot. I let out a mighty roar that shook the birds from the trees and set off car alarms in the next city, then collapsed into my chair, beaten and humiliated by my own hand.

The moral of this story is simply that I'm too strong. The only man who can defeat me is me.