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i miss....

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sometimes i miss the English ways dearly.....

ok i get all estrogenish as the ashes get close and i'm the ONLY one of my group excited about it  :(  all my friends are American football playing white doods..

i miss tea time...i miss crumpets..i miss afternoon naps...i miss being able to talk about Enid Blyton...i miss the original narnia...i miss the famous five...i miss faulty towers...i miss never seeing the magic faraway tree.....i miss someone screaming howazzzat on a crisp september morning...i miss getting a beating from my mates ....i miss wearing my blazer in the winter...i miss my all boys high school where you'd get beaten up on a daily basis but we were all brothers...i miss being flattered at the sight of a girl just smiling at ya.. ....i miss jodphurs...i miss the smell of horse early in the morning.....i miss horsey friend..i miss the smell of salt when i used to ride on the beach.....i miss sitting in dusty classrooms where you could see chalk dust in a beam of sunlight, where the fan would chill you to the bone and you'd get the feeling of having done something wrong even when you had not...i miss how i'd go sit in the park and smoke cigrattes and drink cheap wine when it snowed and just listen to the loud silence...i miss Mr hepworth with his steel grey eyes and halting speech , "pray what do you think i should do ya" he'd always ask me...i miss that... :(

I miss the days of no responsibilities, no bills, and not having having to worry about no one other than myself.  I miss late night drives in my old firebird, racing like a madman and stopping at red lights to kiss my girl.  I miss Kemp, my dog that I had to get rid of due to divorce and not being able to find a place to live that would allow pets.  I miss my mom and dad being together as they too are divorced and the only memories I have of them being happy together were prior to my teens.  I miss laying on the driveway of my house staring up at the sky counting stars.  I miss walking home on winter nights and suddenly getting hit by snowballs and hearing my dad laughing, hiding behind a tree.  I miss the feeling of scoring touchdowns, perfectly timed hits on opponents and the elation of winning the game for my team.  I miss  Iris, a friend of my mom's, the first woman I was ever turned on by...To this day I can still remember her scent and her face and I was only 3 or 4 years old at the time, playing on the couch next to her and for some reason just not being able to keep away.  I miss my grandfather that I never knew, as I've only seen him in photos holding me as a baby and he passed before I have any memories of him.  I miss going to lunch in high school, jumping into a friend's car and smoking our brains loose only to come back to class later and veg and draw and write science fiction stories.  I miss not having an enemy that I now have to always watch out for.  I miss being young and impressionable and eager to learn, as the older I get, the more desensitized I become and at times am reminded of what I miss in myself by my son.   

Helas...Oscar Wilde..

To drift with every passion till my soul
Is a stringed lute on which all winds can play,
Is it for this that I have given away
Mine ancient wisdom, and austere control?
Methinks my life is a twice-written scroll
Scrawled over on some boyish holiday
With idle songs for pipe and virelay,
Which do but mar the secret of the whole.
Surely there was a time I might have trod
The sunlit heights, and from life's dissonance
Struck one clear chord to reach the ears of God:
Is that time dead? lo! with a little rod
I did but touch the honey of romance --
And must I lose a soul's inheritance?

Oldschool Flip:
I miss eating high carbs! :'(

U'r ruining the moment.  :P


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