THIS
Rob, please imagine this scenario going down and tell me how you'd respond:
You're in a diner. You've just completed a 10-mile walk and you're feeling pretty hungry and tired. The waitress brings you over your burger and fries, when in walks Stephen King.
He glances over at your hulking arms, chiseled jawline, and 'Molon Labe' baseball cap. For some strange reason, he takes an instant dislike to you and swaggers over to give you his thoughts.
'Haha, Nice hat, ass-dick! Bet you think it's cool shooting little kids, huh?'
He then reaches over and takes a fry from your plate.
'See this fry, you retard? This fry is twice the size of your dick. That's why your wife is busy getting pumped silly by a real man like ME while you're at home jizzing over your AR-15!'
Stephen then picks up your burger bun, licks the ketchup off it while making full eye contact with you, slams it back down onto the patty and says 'Have a shit day, you pumped up piece of shit. Hope you don't get run over by a truck, lol.'