Im in love with an ugly duckling, and i hate it!!!!

[littlechris]

hey girls, and guys.
Ok, i just want to share something that i am going through and would like any feedback, assesment, opinions, solutions, etc. Ok, basically, i re-joined my old gym a few months ago. So, soon after joining, i am at the gym working out, and i see this skinny, scrawny girl on the treadmill running. I recognize her from a few years back as she was also a member at that gym, but way back when i never gave her any thought. Ok, so i see her and instantly, i was attracted to her. Now, she is not the typical "beautiful" girl. again, she is skinny, walks funny, has NO breasts (im not a breast guy anyways)has a very plain face and practically no nose, and wears her hair pulled back in a ponytail, but she is in the gym 5 days a week and busts her ass on the treadmill and the freeweights. she is dedicated to training.
Now, she obviously knows nothing about trainig and diet as she is thin and has absolutely NO muscle tone. shes what you call "skinny fat"= thin with no tone or shape. As far as her face, she has no nose, and she always has a "dumb" look on her face. sort of like those people who always look like they have a smirk on their face, or are smiling, when they really arent (I know im not portraying her very well thus far, but im being honest).
Now, there is something about this girl, the first time i saw her, i thought to myself "i want to marry this girl" and i dont even know her!!!!!!! Also, i have never tried to meet a woman at the gym as i am so tunnel vision in the gym. But after about a month, i decidided to get the nerve to introduce myself to her. I was nervous as hell!! I introduced myself and suprisingly she was very nice and polite. well, since then, i have not really initiated any more conversation with her, but i did catch her checking me out, etc. Now, for the life of me, this skinny, scrawny girl, just makes my heart beat 100 miles an hour and makes me so nervous!! i dont know what it is, she is such an ugly duckling!! But to me she is beautiful!! part of it is because she looves working out, and is soo disciplined. but i cant figure out why im attracted to her, or why she makes me feel this way,lol.
I hate the way i feel about her, and i go out of my way to go to the gym at her same time, and drive the extra miles to see her there. Has anyone here felt the same way about someone of the opposite sex? I try to convince myself not to like her, but i cant, its as if im on automatic pilot. ive even not showed up at that gym for a few weeks, but something keeps pulling me back. Is this fate? should i go with my feelings? ive never felt this way before. sometimes i think im going crazy!!! thanks fore listening any advice would be appreciated.

-LC

[Quickerblade]

paragraphs please

[ToxicAvenger]

a very wise man once wrote...and heed this

sonnet 116


Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved [/b]

[Butterbean]

littlechris, are you sure that you feel like you want to marry her and not just be intimate w/her?  Have you ever felt like you wanted to marry someone before or is this feeling a first?

How do you think you'd feel about her if she quit working out?



Your story kind of reminds me of the Seinfeld episode where the man and the woman are looking at the painting of Kramer.  The man is repulsed by the painting, yet can't look away.  He is "sickened" by it, yet he says he loves it.

[Andy Griffin]

Have actually spoken to/been out with this young lady yet?

If you like her then what do you care whether or not she meets some "standard"

[The ChemistV2]

I can relate somewhat. I was friends with a girl I worked with for a long time. I was never particularly attracted to her. She wasn't bad looking, was thin and I guess most people would find her ok. When I broke up with my girlfriend, this girl started inviting me over a lot...cooking me nice meals. We started becoming involved and I would always warn her her that I had no interest in getting serious or living together and she was ok with that. To make a long story short, we've been together for a few years..I let her move in a while back and I still care about her. The real problem is..I have no physical attraction to her and we basically never have sex. I realize I never really was attracted to her, but things just happened. She drives out of town every week for a couple of days to see her mother. I sometimes go to a nearby bar to eat dinner and I have a lot of gorgeous girls talk to me, some give me their numbers. And it's incredibly frustrating because I feel stuck in this situation. I feel like breaking up..but I care about her a lot and know it will devastate her. It's driving me nuts..I've lost my freedom, am not having sex, have beautiful girls that want to date me and I can't seem to bring myself to get out of the situation. Believe me, I've never been wimpy about anything in my life..but this situation is making me feel somewhat wimpish. I guess my point is make sure you want to go down this road and ask yourself, that once your infatuation wears off, will you be still attracted to her? It doesn't matter if anyone else thinks she's hot as long as you are attracted to her.

[Geo]

hey girls, and guys.
Ok, i just want to share something that i am going through and would like any feedback, assesment, opinions, solutions, etc. Ok, basically, i re-joined my old gym a few months ago. So, soon after joining, i am at the gym working out, and i see this skinny, scrawny girl on the treadmill running. I recognize her from a few years back as she was also a member at that gym, but way back when i never gave her any thought. Ok, so i see her and instantly, i was attracted to her. Now, she is not the typical "beautiful" girl. again, she is skinny, walks funny, has NO breasts (im not a breast guy anyways)has a very plain face and practically no nose, and wears her hair pulled back in a ponytail, but she is in the gym 5 days a week and busts her ass on the treadmill and the freeweights. she is dedicated to training.
Now, she obviously knows nothing about trainig and diet as she is thin and has absolutely NO muscle tone. shes what you call "skinny fat"= thin with no tone or shape. As far as her face, she has no nose, and she always has a "dumb" look on her face. sort of like those people who always look like they have a smirk on their face, or are smiling, when they really arent (I know im not portraying her very well thus far, but im being honest).
Now, there is something about this girl, the first time i saw her, i thought to myself "i want to marry this girl" and i dont even know her!!!!!!! Also, i have never tried to meet a woman at the gym as i am so tunnel vision in the gym. But after about a month, i decidided to get the nerve to introduce myself to her. I was nervous as hell!! I introduced myself and suprisingly she was very nice and polite. well, since then, i have not really initiated any more conversation with her, but i did catch her checking me out, etc. Now, for the life of me, this skinny, scrawny girl, just makes my heart beat 100 miles an hour and makes me so nervous!! i dont know what it is, she is such an ugly duckling!! But to me she is beautiful!! part of it is because she looves working out, and is soo disciplined. but i cant figure out why im attracted to her, or why she makes me feel this way,lol.
I hate the way i feel about her, and i go out of my way to go to the gym at her same time, and drive the extra miles to see her there. Has anyone here felt the same way about someone of the opposite sex? I try to convince myself not to like her, but i cant, its as if im on automatic pilot. ive even not showed up at that gym for a few weeks, but something keeps pulling me back. Is this fate? should i go with my feelings? ive never felt this way before. sometimes i think im going crazy!!! thanks fore listening any advice would be appreciated.

-LC

I can relate somewhat. I was friends with a girl I worked with for a long time. I was never particularly attracted to her. She wasn't bad looking, was thin and I guess most people would find her ok. When I broke up with my girlfriend, this girl started inviting me over a lot...cooking me nice meals. We started becoming involved and I would always warn her her that I had no interest in getting serious or living together and she was ok with that. To make a long story short, we've been together for a few years..I let her move in a while back and I still care about her. The real problem is..I have no physical attraction to her and we basically never have sex. I realize I never really was attracted to her, but things just happened. She drives out of town every week for a couple of days to see her mother. I sometimes go to a nearby bar to eat dinner and I have a lot of gorgeous girls talk to me, some give me their numbers. And it's incredibly frustrating because I feel stuck in this situation. I feel like breaking up..but I care about her a lot and know it will devastate her. It's driving me nuts..I've lost my freedom, am not having sex, have beautiful girls that want to date me and I can't seem to bring myself to get out of the situation. Believe me, I've never been wimpy about anything in my life..but this situation is making me feel somewhat wimpish. I guess my point is make sure you want to go down this road and ask yourself, that once your infatuation wears off, will you be still attracted to her? It doesn't matter if anyone else thinks she's hot as long as you are attracted to her.

you're both looking for that "strong motherly" figure in your lives...





























or not !

[littlechris]

WOW! thanks for the responses.

Stella: thats a great analogy/example. this girl is pretty dull to look at but i find her soo attractive!! i hate it!! lol  and no, i havent gone out with her, ive only talked to her once when i introduced myself. i wish i could go out with her, but "they all have boyfriends", so why try, thats my thinking.  as far as standards, the hell with standards, this girl is BEAUTIFUL in my eyes, i dont care what anyone else thinks.  And, i must honestly say that she is REALLY nice, cuz when i introduced myself, she was sooo friendly, that felt good. 


proteinfarts: i like the poem, but i dont understand it, can you break it down??

chemist: bro, you must let her go, because you are deceiving her, and are wasting years of your life. you are not living a SINCERE life. be with someone you love, dont sell yourself short. ive seen tooo many people do that. id rather be alone than be with someone i am NOT crazy about.

-Lc

[Migs]

um, would you be considered an ugly duckling?  Maybe it's a perfect match...


Looks are completely subjective.  I thought my ex was a total hottie and told her so.  She didn't think it and said no one ever said that to her.  I'm not the best looking guy around by any stretch of the imagination, but she found me attractive in some way, lol.  I have personality!

[w8m8]

lc :
if I was you I'd be talking to her more .. the only thing I am having trouble with is part of your thread title  .. " i hate it "
it's really ok that you know she's not going to be considered attractive to people but you find her desirable anyhow .. but why do you hate it ?

if you really do get all excited and are going out of your way to see her .. then you should be finding out more about her and talking to her .. ask her out and let it go where it's gonna go .. I betcha if she's been checking you out she's intrigued to say the least .. and you may end up with a good friend if not a lover

TCV2 :
Wow .. just Wow .. you are a good hearted and well intentioned man .. but if I were you I'd be taking this woman out for a nice dinner and talking this out with her .. I'd bet money she can't be thrilled to be living this way much more than you are .. you can still be great friends .. and friends are open and talk things out .. if it's too scary for fear of how she may get hurt .. then you're really doing no great service to yourself or her .. Gee I really hope you can both move onto a much more fulfilling and happy life and remain close .. I think you're both prolly feeling similar and someone may just need to make the first move


good luck to all of you 

[Butterbean]

TCV2 :
Wow .. just Wow .. you are a good hearted and well intentioned man .. but if I were you I'd be taking this woman out for a nice dinner and talking this out with her .. I'd bet money she can't be thrilled to be living this way much more than you are .. you can still be great friends .. and friends are open and talk things out .. if it's too scary for fear of how she may get hurt .. then you're really doing no great service to yourself or her .. Gee I really hope you can both move onto a much more fulfilling and happy life and remain close .. I think you're both prolly feeling similar and someone may just need to make the first move


good luck to all of you 

x2!

[smoothasf]

buy yourself an e collar put it round your neck and everytime you catch yourself starring press the shock button. obsession is a bad thing in dogs as well as people

option 2

put your hands down your pants and check if you have two slightly oval things in a hairy sack if they are there just man the fuck up and go and ask her out.
Whats the worst that can happen, she says no and you go back to starring at her again...its a win wn situation.

Ask her out you pussy

[QuakerOats]

buy yourself an e collar put it round your neck and everytime you catch yourself starring press the shock button. obsession is a bad thing in dogs as well as people

option 2

put your hands down your pants and check if you have two slightly oval things in a hairy sack if they are there just man the fuck up and go and ask her out.
Whats the worst that can happen, she says no and you go back to starring at her again...its a win wn situation.

Ask her out you pussy

[littlechris]

ok, ok.  fair enough.  so basically, ive already introduced myself to her, so we know each others names.  so know i am to ask her out on a date?  she doesnt even know me, or if im even safe!!
   If i was a woman in this day and age, i wouldnt just go out with any stranger in the gym who asked me out.  My approach, is to chat it up with her here and there, dont rush the process, find a common interest (working out), become friends and maybe workout together, cardio etc, and then ask her out.  If i just ask her out, shell probably just say "no", then its harder to do damage control and come back from that one. what do you all think?  do most women go out on dates with strangers??  What do the ladies here think???

-LC

[Butterbean]

My approach, is to chat it up with her here and there, dont rush the process, find a common interest (working out), become friends and maybe workout together, cardio etc, and then ask her out.  -LC

I think this sounds good. 

Plus there is the possibility that the more you get to know her, your infatuation may disappear!  Or it could increase.  Keep us posted

[littlechris]

hi stella,
  thanks for the reply.  I am no ladies man, but there is something to be said about the whole "courting" process. If i just throw myself out there and and try to "score", it eliminates the whole process of seduction, and the mysteriousness part of when two people initially meet. It also makes me look like the typical player. Its bad enough I look like a jock. I dont want to act like a dumb jock, anyways...
  I guess I am trying to get her wondering about me, and to try and figure me out, to WANT to know "who is this guy".  At this point we know nothing about each other, other than there is some interest there. Yesterday, we had eye contact again, a few times, and she actually got a machine right by me.  At the time, i really didnt know what to say, yes i was being shy, but at the same time, it might have worked in my favor in that perhaps it makes me more appealing in that i am being somewhat elusive, hard to get,  though showing interest via body language. Women are pros at the art of seduction and using body language, and damn it drives us men nuts!!  No?
   Again, i beleive there is an art to seducing a woman, and I feel like in this case it is working slowly.   Next time i see her, ill mention that "ive been meaning to say hello" but that she looked really focused in her workout, so i didnt want to bother her. Sort of to let her know i am interested in her still, i beleive there is a term for this, "baiting" or something like that. Again, yesterday, i got some confirmation that maybe she is perceptive to me.  And to be quiet honest, it is exciting, not really knowing, and trying to figure her out, and what my next move will be.  Just asking her out, and getting a "no" or "yes" would just kill all the anticipatioin and excitement.  You guys who commented above, have NO game!! j/k.

-Chris

[Butterbean]

hi stella,
  thanks for the reply.  I am no ladies man, but there is something to be said about the whole "courting" process. If i just throw myself out there and and try to "score", it eliminates the whole process of seduction, and the mysteriousness part of when two people initially meet. It also makes me look like the typical player. Its bad enough I look like a jock. I dont want to act like a dumb jock, anyways...
  I guess I am trying to get her wondering about me, and to try and figure me out, to WANT to know "who is this guy".  At this point we know nothing about each other, other than there is some interest there. Yesterday, we had eye contact again, a few times, and she actually got a machine right by me.  At the time, i really didnt know what to say, yes i was being shy, but at the same time, it might have worked in my favor in that perhaps it makes me more appealing in that i am being somewhat elusive, hard to get,  though showing interest via body language. Women are pros at the art of seduction and using body language, and damn it drives us men nuts!!  No?
   Again, i beleive there is an art to seducing a woman, and I feel like in this case it is working slowly.   Next time i see her, ill mention that "ive been meaning to say hello" but that she looked really focused in her workout, so i didnt want to bother her. Sort of to let her know i am interested in her still, i beleive there is a term for this, "baiting" or something like that. Again, yesterday, i got some confirmation that maybe she is perceptive to me.  And to be quiet honest, it is exciting, not really knowing, and trying to figure her out, and what my next move will be.  Just asking her out, and getting a "no" or "yes" would just kill all the anticipatioin and excitement.  You guys who commented above, have NO game!! j/k.

-Chris

You've really been thinking this over lol!

Sounds like you have a good plan.... just don't ask her if she needs a spot on the adductor machine!

[Migs]

seduction is as easy as a hundred dollar bill and a wink.  Anything more than that and she probably isn't worth your time.

[Butterbean]

seduction is as easy as a hundred dollar bill and a wink.  Anything more than that and she probably isn't worth your time.

Someone needs a hug!

[Migs]

at the least. lol.  how much is a hug now?

[Butterbean]

at the least. lol.  how much is a hug now?

Hugs are free!

[Migs]

if the hug is coming from him, i'll pass, free or not lol

[Butterbean]

if the hug is coming from him, i'll pass, free or not lol

But he's Huggy Bear!

[Migs]

but he's cracked out looking and has that unusally flappable lower lip thing.  Kinda freaky