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WRESTLEMANIA 38 - Will it indeed be "STUPENDOUS!!"? Night 1 and Night 2 picks

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Hall of Fame intros, Official attendance for night one: 77,899. That's impressive, especially given the card on hand.

Unlike last year, you knew which matches would be on what day.

And it appears Rick Boogs' injury is legit: patella tendon rupture, which means he's out for nearly a year.

Smackdown Women's title match is on deck.

Lots of arm drags by Rousey and she's countering nearly everything that Flair is throwing at her. Arm bars into the ropes and lots of WHAM!!! A spear by Flair as Rousey was talking smack looking to put her away.

Ankle lock but Flair escapes. She plants her into the mat. Moonsault missed, handspring into second moonsault....OOPS!! I think Rousey was supposed to take that one. Rousey's not quite as clumsy as she was three years ago. But, she needs a bit more work.

Charlotte finally lock the Figure 8 but leaves her leg dangling and Rousey grabs it to reverse the holds. They both spill outside the ring. Flair goes for the moonsault but gets arm-dragged to the outside mat.

Back in the ring they go. Roused hits her "Piper's Pit" slam. Flair puts her leg on the ropes. The ref counts three but waives it off.

Rousey complains to the ref and gets dropped on her head with "Natural Selection" and almost gets pinned. Flair goes for the Figure 8 again; but Rousey kicks her off and Flair spears the ref by accident. Rousey slaps on the arm bar; Flair taps but ref doesn't see it.

When ROusey released the hold to get the ref to his feet, Flair kicked her in the mouth and got the quick pin and retain her title.

Now...the KO Show:

The KO show was long with Owens insulting Texas until Steve Austin shows up. He milks the crowd, leaves, and returns with his ATV. Then Owens, after berating Austin and Texas some more, claims that he lied to Austin and really wanted to challenge him to a No Holds Barred match.

Austin retorts, referring to Owens as a "sack of s--t" and accepts. And it's clear that Owens got his marching orders to be tender with the Rattlesnake. After one of the WEAKEST tosses to the barricade you'll ever see, Austin just smacks around Owens outside the ring until he gets tossed over the barricade. Apparently, Austin decided to shamelessly promote his own product by drinking his own brand of beer during this match.

Apparently Austin's only wrestling hold is a standard vertical suplex. After Austin took a bump and Owens tried to drive off on Austin's ATV. Austin caught him, drove the ATV up the ramp, and went to SUPLEX CITY on Owens on the upper stage (at least four of them by my count).

After tossing Owens down the ramp and back into the ring. Owens connected with a Stunner. Owens took a bit too long for the pin and Austin kicked out. Owens got a chair, went to decapitated the 2009 Hall of Famer. But, Austin ducked; the chair bounced off the top rope; and Owens bonked himself. Austin hit the Stunner and got the win.

Lots of music, more drinking of Austin's own beer, and (as a ticker for Corey Graves), Byron Saxton went into the ring to join Austin for some brewskis....only to (surprise, SURPRISE) get hit with a Stunner. More beer, until Owens stumbles back to his feet. So, WHAM!!! Down he goes again!!

Ironically, they put this "match" last to make sure the fans went home happy (which they ultimately did). But, it was the least inspiring of the bunch.

Did I miss something or did they scratch the New Day vs. Sheamus & Ridge Holland match?

Oh well....on to night two, WrestleMania Sunday!!


Here's a pleasant surprise.....TRIPLE H comes to the ring for a farewell. Chants of "Thank you, Hunter!" are thundering throughout the area. He screams, "Welcome to Wrestlemania" and he leaves the mic and his boots in the middle of the ring.

First up, Raw tag team titles!!!

Well, I hope the Street Profits and Alpha Academy have good chiropractors, as Orton just suplexed them into the announce table. Then we got stereo DDTs. But Alpha Academy threw them out of the ring. Otis tried a Vader bomb but just shoved to the floor. A super blockbuster from Ford and Dawkins to Gable but no three count. Dawkins does a flip to the outside on the Alpha Academy. Orton goes for an RKO but gets a spine buster from Dawkins.

Ford goes to the top for an RKO. But, Riddle hops to the apron then the top rope and RKO's Ford. Gable goes to the top and he gets RKO'ed by Orton and that's a wrap.

Street Profits congratulate Orton and Riddle and want to toast with the Solo cups. They invite Gable Steveson to toast only to have the party interrupted by Chad Gable. And Chad Gable gets belly-to-belly suplexed for his trouble.

OH BOY!!! Omos and Lashley!!!

This is getting ugly early. they had a miscue in the corner. But, Lashley is pounding Omos with some forearms. He tried the Hurt Lock but got shoved to the floor for his effort. But, as Omos stepped over the top rope, Lashley hopped to the apron and hit a clothesline.

Why does he keep trying to suplex Omos? Now he gets bearhugged and...didn't he just recover from a concussion? Lashley's head just smacked the back of the post after being squashed. Another vertical suplex attempt.....a third one and he gets it.

Now a spear botch of sorts. He hit Omos in the back to drop him. Now Lashley spears him in the gut and 1-2-3!!!!

Lashley hands Omos his first loss in singles competition. Now, let's see if he has a hand in the title match per my upset special.

Train wreck coming!! Knoxville and Zayn, anything goes!!

Zayn nails Knoxville with a "Helluva kick" right off the bat. But, he rolls outside the ring to avoid being pinned. He's wearing goggles the whole match and only gets a break when he blasts Zayn in the eyes with an extinguisher.

This is ridiculous. We have mousetraps, midgets (one of whom BODYSLAMS Zayn), near-naked midgets, and Knoxville with a remote control that sets off the pyro that sets Zayn's rump on fire when he's on the top rope. And Knoxville bowls a purple ball into Zayn's balls.

Add to that a mechanical boot that kicks Zayn in the nuts. And a retractable giant hand that smacks Zayn in the face, when he runs outside the ring.

Women's tag titles are up next.

After tons of assistance from the "Jackass" crew, Knoxville does a taser to Zayn's spine and puts in and springs a GIANT MOUSETRAP to get the pin and the win.

Women's tag titles are on the line.

Well this went a lot better than the Smackdown women's title. But the two stereo electric chair slams were a bit much. Banks and Naomi clearly had the best chemistry, and after an awesome tandem face buster, we have new champs in the "Legit Glow".

Now, it gets good....Edge and AJ Styles! AJ is out first, with a cut on his face. That means they're going to really milk Edge's new music.

And now Edge's entrance is a hybrid of Triple H's "King of Kings" intro from WM22 and the Brood with the flames. And now, he's doing his best "Honey, I shrunk the Undertaker" bit with the black cloak and flames shooting high after he raises his hands. No way Edge is losing tonight.

Phenomenal forearm miss, spear miss, and a Styles-Clash and......AAAAHHH!!! No three count for Styles. Now Damien Priest is standing outside the ring. He stalls Styles who gets speared, trying that forearm and that's the ball game. Edge wins!!!

And now Priest is in the ring with Edge and they're laughing. Apparently, they're now a team.

Lots of exchanges and Edge's head whacking the steps early in the match. A little early to try the 450 splash, and it's knees to the gut. And Edge, gimpy knee and all, is stretching Styles in the middle of the ring to tenderize that ribs. Nice shoulder breaker by Edge but he did so on his bad knee.

Styles ran at Edge, slid, got shoved by Edge chest-first into the second turnbuckle. Now Styles returns the favor by suplexing Edge into the buckles.

The fans are cheering but a dropping knee armbar by Edge silences them. AJ breaks a stretch move, tries the Pele kick; Edge moves and hooks the crossface. Styles gets the foot on the ropes. From outside-to-inside bulldog on the Rated R Superstar.

But, with sore ribs, he takes way too long to get up the turnbuckles. Superplex attempts gets countered into a human torture rack, ending in a powerbomb and a near fall. Another Styles attempt gets countered into an "Impaler" DDT by Edge, with another near pinfall.

Punch exchange, kick exchange, calf crusher, Crossface, escape, missed Pele-kick, and an Edge-O-Matic. A bouncey powerbomb, using the top rope, drills Styles but no pin yet. Edge went for a superplex but got countered and he ends up on the wrong end of the same move outside the ropes.

New Day vs. Holland and Sheamus are on tap. That didn't take long. New Day got jumped. Kofi pulled out a "Trouble in Paradise". But Sheamus made the save. Kofi tried a dive and got kicked in the mouth.

"Butch" kept threatening to interfere but that distraction let Sheamus hit another Brogue kick, this time to Woods. Holland nailed his finisher and got the pin.

McAfee and Theory are coming up and Mr. McMahon is coming to the ring. Here comes McAffe and he gets the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders as part of his entrance.

A couple of punches, a back elbow, and a FrankenSteiner??? WOW!!! McAfee is getting it and he almost got the win!! But, a back breaker and a suplex and Theory is back on top, showing up for McMahon.

Theory goes for another suplex but it gets reversed and McAfee had made it even. Now, Theory gets knocked outside the ring and McAfee puts on the headset and commentates as he pounds Theory into the desk. And now, taking all day, he goes to the ropes. He went for a swan-ton and missed. Theory hit a back suplex and gets a near fall. Now Theory goes to the top, and HE takes all day, and gets caught. Now, it's SUPER-PLEX TIME!! NOPE. Theory counters but McAfee does a back flip and hit the move anyway.

McAfee went for a finish but got a low drop kick and slapped by Theory. Theory went for his finisher but McAfee escapes, rolls up Theory, PULLS THE TIGHTS and gets the 1-2-3.

But now, Mr. McMahon is challenging McAfee; Theory jumps him and McMahon gets the cheap win. WAIT!!! Here comes the Rattlesnake!! He beats up Theory, has a beer with McMahon, gives him the weakest stunner in history, and shares beer with McAfee.


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