Author Topic: WWE HELL IN A CELL 2022: NO Reigns, NO PROBLEM??  (Read 564 times)

MCWAY

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WWE HELL IN A CELL 2022: NO Reigns, NO PROBLEM??
« on: June 05, 2022, 05:17:33 PM »
Am I missing something here? There is no world title match on this PPV. Neither of Reigns' belts are at stake.

It can't still be his shoulder, because he looked fine at Backlash. He wasn't at the Hell in a Cell PPV last year. But, at least they bumped his title defense against Mysterio to prime time on Smackdown two days earlier. This year, we get no Tribal Chief.

Raw Women's Championship (Triple Threat Match) - Bianca Belair (c) vs. Asuka vs. Becky Lynch: This was supposed to be Naomi, per all the rumors, but that went kaput. I don't see the EST giving up the G-O-L-D just yet.

United States Championship - Austin Theory (c) vs. Mustafa Ali: Unless there's an impromptu bout, this will be the only other title match on the card. YAWN!!! Theory retains

"Ekeziel" vs. Kevin Owens - This is a goofy grudge match, where Owens is trying to prove that "Ezekiel" is really a shaven and guitar-less Elias. This has potential but I believe I'll go with Zeke.

"American Nightmare" Cody Rhodes vs. Seth "Freakin' " Rollins - Rhodes has some sort of injury, torn pec I think. This match may not occur (AND IT'S THE ONLY HELL IN A CELL MATCH ON THE CARD, I think). If it does, Rollins gets off the schnide.

Baron "Happy" Corbin vs. Madcap Moss - This seems to be the only legitimate grudge match other than the Rhodes vs. Rollins. After dropping that ATG trophy on a chair around Moss' neck, Moss is minus the suspenders and the generic entrance music. The former Lone Wolf goes to sleep tonight. Madcap is getting the serious push, so far, since his ATG Battle Royal win. He goes over here.

Omos and Montel Vontavious Porter (MVP) vs. "The Almighty" Bobby Lashley (Handicap Match) - They'll probably have Cedric Alexander hiding under the ring for this one. This looks to be hurting Lashley more than it helps Omos. If WWE has any sense, they give Lashley the win and end this feud for good. Giving MVP to Omos is putting a bandaid on a laceration. Where does Omos go from here? He certainly ain't challenging Reigns for either of his titles.


MCWAY

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Re: WWE HELL IN A CELL: NO Reigns, NO PROBLEM??
« Reply #1 on: June 05, 2022, 05:44:27 PM »
Lots of collisions and lots of forearms in this match. Apparently Belair loves doing kip-ups after delivering the damage to her foes. Now, it's vertical duplexes with a SUPER-PLEX for good measure. But, Asuka interrupts and tries an electric chair moves.

Maybe I'm not grasping Asuka's strategy or something, but how does a forearm to the booty hurt someone, especially with a backside as round as that of Belair?

Two code-breakers knees to the mush....that works. Now, there's a DOUBLE-ANKLE LOCK??? Asuka has both Lynch and Belair squealing!!! They break the hold, toss out Asuka and whack each other while each hopping on one leg. Dis-Arm-Her attempt counter with a KOD attempt....A missile dropkick from the Empress of Tomorrow.....Now comes a pin attempt. MANHANDLE SLAM from Lynch, but no cigar with Asuka making the save.

Asuka-lock is on Lynch, with multiple counters. But, Asuka hangs onto the hold. Belair goes off the top rope, but Asuka rolls out of the way with Lynch still wrapped up (possible botch). Asuka releases and goes for her flying booty attack but gets caught. EST tries a glam slam and hits it. But, Lynch throws Belair out the ring. Then she hits the Man-Handle slam on the Empress. Belair, however, sneaks back into the ring, throws Lynch off the cover, makes the pin herself, and wins the bout.

BTW, is Jimmy Smith going to get fined for referring to the title as a "belt" during commentary?

MCWAY

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Re: WWE HELL IN A CELL: NO Reigns, NO PROBLEM??
« Reply #2 on: June 05, 2022, 05:58:08 PM »
MVP and Omos vs Lashley.....and it's NOT a Hell in the Cell match. Oh dear!!

Apparently, Omos is going to giant school 101. First, he hits Diesel's snake eyes-big boot combo; then he goes Braun Strowman's choo-choo train routine through Lashley and the barricade, after MVP nearly kicked Ashley's head off and over the top rope.

Cedric Alexander, who earlier tried to get back in the good graces of MVP to reform the "Hurt Business", tried to actually hit Omos from the top rope. But he got caught and clotheslined over the top rope for his effort. Lashley hit the spear and dropped the big guy; but he appeared to be absolutely spend. MVP went for another drive-by kick, only to miss and get caught the Hurt Lock.....NITE-NITE MVP!!!

Lashley celebrates, motioning his hands around his waists. Then, as he high-fives the crowd, the Almighty yanks a replica belt from a fan and hoists it in the air. So, it appears that, sooner than later, Lashley and Reigns are going to go head up. But I noticed he only held up a WWE title belt. Does this mean Reigns only defends one title at a time, depending on the brand of his challenger?

MCWAY

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Re: WWE HELL IN A CELL: NO Reigns, NO PROBLEM??
« Reply #3 on: June 05, 2022, 06:29:55 PM »
Judgment Day vs. Styles, Balor, and Morgan.

I guess Ember Moon was right. The ladies are rocking the "fishnet booty butt cheek shorts" in the ring, as of late. And it ain't just in NXT.

Lynch, Asuka, Aliyah, Alexa Bliss, Shotzi, Xia Li and now Rhea Ripley (she had her regular long tights on Raw Monday night). If you count Rousey and Morgan without the fishnets, there's a lot of cheeks going on here.

AJ going wild, lots of fireman carries into slams, drivers, and shoulder/back breakers. Phenomenal forearm connects to Edge but Priest makes the save. Now the ladies get tagged into the fray. Lots of offense by Morgan. But Ripley counters into a vicious duplex. Now, the men are back, as Balor is legal. And all three get leaps over the top.

But, taking too long on the Coup De' Grace and Ripley's interference costs Balor. He gets speared and pinned.

MCWAY

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Re: WWE HELL IN A CELL: NO Reigns, NO PROBLEM??
« Reply #4 on: June 05, 2022, 08:36:10 PM »
Moss and Corbin do battle.

I guess since you can't hit a guy in the head with a chair, you can hit a guy in a chair with a head. Outside of some chair shots, this is a basic match, with Moss looking quite impressive. Then comes a sweet chop block on the floor, 15 yards in the NFL, but perfectly legal in WWE...especially in a match with virtually no rules.

Corbin brings in the steps and goes for a power bomb. Moss reverses and hits a fall-away slam into the steps. Then Moss goes for the step and Pillman-izes Corbin with the chair around the neck of his former employer. Then comes the 1-2-3. And Corbin gets carted out of the ring on a stretcher.

MCWAY

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Re: WWE HELL IN A CELL: NO Reigns, NO PROBLEM??
« Reply #5 on: June 05, 2022, 09:10:40 PM »
I missed the Owens and Ezekiel match. Whether he's Elias or Ezekiel, whoever KO's opponent is apparently has a torn pec and a really good razor. If you ever wanted to know how a pale shrunken Ultimate Warrior would appear, look no further than Zeke.

Owens is extremely agile and he hit (and even missed) some sweet off-the-top rope moves. But after two superkicks and a Stunner, KO got the W.


I'll finish the main event a little later. But, once again, Rollins has a "OH NO YOU DIDN'T" moment. This time, he heads to the ring and under his trench coat, he breaks out....THE YELLOW POLKA DOTS!!! That's Mr. "Freakin" for you.

Good GRIEF!!! Rhodes is black and blue from his right arm and pec, making a hush fall over the crowd. He canít move his arm at all but he is still doing the match.

Since he can't use his right arm much, he goes for the legs via a Figure 4, after partially nailing a "Cody Cutter". Rollins grabs the ropes, but there's no rope break. So, he scratches under the ring apron, grabbing the tool box. The crowd starts to peak, thinking Rollins is going to crack Rhodes in the head with a wrench. But, NO, it's the old tried/TIRED and true kendo stick.

The, the Visionary proceeds to stab his opponent in the ever-blueing/blackening flesh on his pec. Now comes some ring steps into the arm, and it just looks gruesome.

Now, James E. Cornette commented about this silliness awhile ago. That is, people stashing toys under the ring before the match. In this case, Rollins breaks out a black weight belt with polka dots and the word "Visionary" in red. He proceeds to lash the Nightmare with the strap and we get more welts on an already bruised.

Rhodes makes the comeback; he goes under the ring and, from his conveniently placed black bag, retrieves a bull rope with a cowbell. He challenges Rollins to fasten one end to his wrist, with the other already strapped to Rhodes' good arm.

After a lot of jerking and flipping of Rollins with the rope, the former Stardust has his opponent seeing stars, courtesy of a cowbell right between the eyes. Unfortunately, it's not sufficient to merit a three-count (again, I thought bonking people in the head with metal objects was a no-no in the post-Benoit WWE).

Rollins recovers and says enough with the bull rope after yanking Rhodes in the post repeatedly. It's table time. But Rhodes turns the tide. A power bomb attempt fails with bad arm. But, Rollins has no such issue. Yet, despite smashing Rhodes through the table, Rollins can't get the three count.
 
STOP!! HAMMER TIME!! It's Rollins, using the old tool of his mentor. The Nightmare kicks the Visionary in the gut. Rollins reverses for a pedigree attempt; Rhodes reverses that and hit the pedigree himself. But, yet there's no three count. But, just when it looks to be over, CURB-STOMP!! But, the Revolutionary is denied the pinfall

Now, we play "Cross-Rhodes" go-round!! First, Rhodes goes for it; then Rollins counters and HITS IT....BUT WAIT, Rhodes shakes it off and hits it!! But, no Pinball for the Nightmare!! They both scramble for the hammer. Rhodes gets it, swings, and missed. Rollins obtains the hammer; he swings and misses. Finally, in a HULK UP that would make Hogan proud, the grandson of a plumber applies the move three consecutive time. Then, to add the cherry on top, he conks Rollins in the bean with the sledgehammer. After all of that, Mr. Rhodes (torn pec, blackened arm, and all) gets the precious three count for the win and thunderous applause.