How to stay married

[ThisisOverload]

She is on borrowed time.

She knows it too.

I've explained how i am to her and she understands.

Lately i've been becoming more distant, not going out of my way to see her or do anything with her.

I think she knows what's up.

She tried pulling the "live together" card and got mad at me when i refused. I told her since day one that will never happen. Plus, she wants me to move to Albuquerque, one of the worst places to live in the USA. I'm in the mountains near Santa Fe, living the fucking dream. Screw that.

I'm about to fire up the Tinder profile again.

There are millions of women out there, never settle.

I'll never have kids, so i do not care.

[ThisisOverload]

You cook your own meals, wash your dirty clothes, comfort yourself when sick, clean the house and there's no one with whom to have friendly discourse. Life can be boring when you are alone.

That's why you have 3-4 girlfriends dude.

Being single does not mean alone.

I used to spend the weekend with a different chick on a 3 week rotation.

Never been bored.

But, to be fair i am an introvert, so being alone for 4-5 days at a time means nothing to me. I embrace solitude.

Having a broad in my house 24/7 for more than 3 days would drive me insane.

[Primemuscle]

That's why you have 3-4 girlfriends dude.

Being single does not mean alone.

I used to spend the weekend with a different chick on a 3 week rotation.

Never been bored.

But, to be fair i am an introvert, so being alone for 4-5 days at a time means nothing to me. I embrace solitude.

Having a broad in my house 24/7 for more than 3 days would drive me insane.

Guess it is also what one gets used to. I was an only child until my sister was adopted as an infant shortly before my 15th birthday. I was really good at keeping myself entertained. Also, for various reasons, from birth to about age 8, I moved often and lived with a variety of relatives. I was good at making new friends, but had no experience with long term friendships.

I would not be comfortable having several girlfriends or boyfriends just to keep me busy and insure I had companionship. Seems like it would be a lot of work keeping up with several 'romantic' relationships at one time. Me not being a particularly romantic person to begin with.

I catch some shit from some of the folks on Getbig because I share my house with my daughter and son-in-law. It's a big house, it would be really lonely living here without someone else around besides my dog to talk to. My grandson, his fiancé and my great-granddaughter are only here temporarily until they can save up enough to get their own place. However, aside from them being kind of noisy, I like having them around too. Every time my great-granddaughter how is about 18 months old sees me, she grins, waves and says grandpa repeatedly....likely because I am so funny looking. LOL.

Of course there are moments when I wonder what living alone might be like. Since adulthood, I've literally never lived alone. In addition to our own kids my wife and I opened our house to our family many times throughout our marriage. It was kind of like payback for all those years family looked after me.   

[ThisisOverload]

Guess it is also what one gets used to. I was an only child until my sister was adopted as an infant shortly before my 15th birthday. I was really good at keeping myself entertained. Also, for various reasons, from birth to about age 8, I moved often and lived with a variety of relatives. I was good at making new friends, but had no experience with long term friendships.

I would not be comfortable having several girlfriends or boyfriends just to keep me busy and insure I had companionship. Seems like it would be a lot of work keeping up with several 'romantic' relationships at one time. Me not being a particularly romantic person to begin with.

I catch some shit from some of the folks on Getbig because I share my house with my daughter and son-in-law. It's a big house, it would be really lonely living here without someone else around besides my dog to talk to. My grandson, his fiancé and my great-granddaughter are only here temporarily until they can save up enough to get their own place. However, aside from them being kind of noisy, I like having them around too. Every time my great-granddaughter how is about 18 months old sees me, she grins, waves and says grandpa repeatedly....likely because I am so funny looking. LOL.

Of course there are moments when I wonder what living alone might be like. Since adulthood, I've literally never lived alone. In addition to our own kids my wife and I opened our house to our family many times throughout our marriage. It was kind of like payback for all those years family looked after me.   

I understand.

I grew up on a farm in the country. Never had more than a few minutes alone until i was 18 and moved out.

For me the romantic part of having a GF is easy, i enjoy it and they do too. I like to have options and don't get serious with women unless i feel it's necessary. Most women these days will have a very intense physical relationship very very easily. So i take advantage of that. Most women do not do it for me mentally, most are too selfish and caught up in social nonsense. I live in the mountains and hardly ever leave.

When my grandfather died many years ago, my grandmother was alone at home. My parents tried to get her to move it with someone, but she said she wanted to be alone. It was the first time in 70 years she had ever been alone and loved it. Lived alone until she died 15 years later.

I think it depends on personality. My brother would go nuts if he was alone for more than 2-3 days. Personally i could go months with no social interaction and be perfectly fine.

[El Diablo Blanco]

I just find having a full time woman is balancing shitty times with good times but as time goes on it starts to unbalance itself towards more shitty times.

[SOMEPARTS]

You cook your own meals, wash your dirty clothes, comfort yourself when sick, clean the house and there's no one with whom to have friendly discourse. Life can be boring when you are alone.

For those that are not co-dependent there are maids and nurses.

[Primemuscle]

I just find having a full time woman is balancing shitty times with good times but as time goes on it starts to unbalance itself towards more shitty times.

Your experience with long term relationships is unfortunate. Maybe you are just unlucky so far with finding the right woman for you. There are a lot good women around. I know several...but they are all married. My wife was one of the best. She was never selfish or self-centered. I know I got lucky when I met her and she was willing to put up with me. I have never been an easy person to live with and yet she mostly overlooked my bad temper, self-centered personality and a host of other flaws.

What seems interesting to me is that our and our kid's long term marriages are the opposite of what statistics suggest. I grew up in an extremely 'broken home' surrounded by grossly dysfunctional parents. My wife's mom died from a stroke when she was at a most vulnerable age. Exactly the time when mothers and daughters really start to connect. After that, she also experienced dysfunction. It is safe to say we also came from vastly different backgrounds, economically, educationally, and religiously. I was a confused bisexual and she was as straight as an arrow. Maybe like they say, opposites attract.

   

[Primemuscle]

For those that are not co-dependent there are maids and nurses.

Don't you mean for those who are at least reasonably well off and not co-dependent there are housekeepers and nurses?

After an extended illness when my grandmother died, my grandfather married her nurse. He took her to see the Vatican and other vacation destinations and she 'took him to the cleaners'....according to my mom, aunts and uncle.   

[oldtimer1]

I've been married forever. A man and woman go together and compliment each other's existence. My wife was a 118lbs blonde Italian knock out when younger. Married 36 years to her and was with her longer. Now through illness and bad health she isn't a knock out anymore. With her health problems she is a mess but she is my best friend to use a corny phrase to call your wife. She has been with me through so much in life. Yes, the best of times and the worst. She drives me crazy with her non stop talking but that's who she is. She puts up with my faults and there are many. Right now she is recovering from spinal cord surgery and she can walk about 4 blocks now.  I hope she can recover to what ever extent her health allows. She is on so many perscription drugs. Yes in sickness and in health. This sounds egotistical but I'm trying to make a point about our relationship. She always tells me how women make positive comments about my looks to her. I swear if a wolverine bit off my face it wouldn't matter to her. She would love me the same.

  I work in an office with 4 knock out women. You have to see the men drool over them. The two blonds are around 37 and have one disaster after another with men in their relationships.  No, it's not the men. They are the disaster. They dress to kill and look amazing but having known them for 4 years I couldn't imagine living with them. I bet their boyfriends came to the same conclusion.  The two other girls I have hope that they will find good men because they are good people. I guess the point of this paragraph is you have to find the right woman if you're a guy. If you go by looks alone you are in for a world of hurt emotionally and finacially.

[El Diablo Blanco]

I've been married forever. A man and woman go together and compliment each other's existence. My wife was a 118lbs blonde Italian knock out when younger. Married 36 years to her and was with her longer. Now through illness and bad health she isn't a knock out anymore. With her health problems she is a mess but she is my best friend to use a corny phrase to call your wife. She has been with me through so much in life. Yes, the best of times and the worst. She drives me crazy with her non stop talking but that's who she is. She puts up with my faults and there are many. Right now she is recovering from spinal cord surgery and she can walk about 4 blocks now.  I hope she can recover to what ever extent her health allows. She is on so many perscription drugs. Yes in sickness and in health. This sounds egotistical but I'm trying to make a point about our relationship. She always tells me how women make positive comments about my looks to her. I swear if a wolverine bit off my face it wouldn't matter to her. She would love me the same.

  I work in an office with 4 knock out women. You have to see the men drool over them. The two blonds are around 37 and have one disaster after another with men in their relationships.  No, it's not the men. They are the disaster. They dress to kill and look amazing but having known them for 4 years I couldn't imagine living with them. I bet their boyfriends came to the same conclusion.  The two other girls I have hope that they will find good men because they are good people. I guess the point of this paragraph is you have to find the right woman if you're a guy. If you go by looks alone you are in for a world of hurt emotionally and finacially.

Take good care of your wife. You lucked out. Love like that is rare these days. Tell her now how much you love her.

[SOMEPARTS]

Don't you mean for those who are at least reasonably well off and not co-dependent there are housekeepers and nurses?

After an extended illness when my grandmother died, my grandfather married her nurse. He took her to see the Vatican and other vacation destinations and she 'took him to the cleaners'....according to my mom, aunts and uncle.

If you don't get married you will be "reasonably well off" in most cases. 

One life to live and we all meet the same fate. If you want to deprive yourself of life to leave some people money that you can't take with you, have at it. After the wife died they guy is free to live, even if it means those people waiting around for his money to shake loose are angry.

I don't know what the answers are but I can tell you sitting around for the last 30 years of your life in miserable cohabitation and lying to yourself is probably not it.

[IRON CROSS]

That's why you have 3-4 girlfriends dude.

Being single does not mean alone.

I used to spend the weekend with a different chick on a 3 week rotation.

Never been bored.

But, to be fair i am an introvert, so being alone for 4-5 days at a time means nothing to me. I embrace solitude.

Having a broad in my house 24/7 for more than 3 days would drive me insane.

Old Pedo Nenderthal is still in 1960's !.

[Humble Narcissist]

She knows it too.

I've explained how i am to her and she understands.

Lately i've been becoming more distant, not going out of my way to see her or do anything with her.

I think she knows what's up.

She tried pulling the "live together" card and got mad at me when i refused. I told her since day one that will never happen. Plus, she wants me to move to Albuquerque, one of the worst places to live in the USA. I'm in the mountains near Santa Fe, living the fucking dream. Screw that.

I'm about to fire up the Tinder profile again.

There are millions of women out there, never settle.

I'll never have kids, so i do not care.

I'd take Santa Fe if she was paying.

[El Diablo Blanco]

I'd take Santa Fe if she was paying.

I was just in Albuquerque.  I know exactly what he is saying.  it is white trash to the supreme.  Such a shitty city.

[Humble Narcissist]

I was just in Albuquerque.  I know exactly what he is saying.  it is white trash to the supreme.  Such a shitty city.

I agree but Santa Fe is a much different place.

[Primemuscle]

If you don't get married you will be "reasonably well off" in most cases. 

One life to live and we all meet the same fate. If you want to deprive yourself of life to leave some people money that you can't take with you, have at it. After the wife died they guy is free to live, even if it means those people waiting around for his money to shake loose are angry.

I don't know what the answers are but I can tell you sitting around for the last 30 years of your life in miserable cohabitation and lying to yourself is probably not it.

If a person sits around for 30 years of their life in miserable cohabitation, they probably should have their heads examined. My mom and stepdad were good examples of this. How they stayed together that long is a real mystery. All I can say is that opposites attract and they were definitely opposites.   

There are lots of great marriages which are true partnerships. I was lucky to be one of those people. When my wife was working, which was most of the time except a couple of years after our kids were born, her income was as good if not better than mine. All our big ticket expenses were decided by mutual agreement. In some ways she was more frugal than I was, particularly when it came to buying clothes and furniture. When we were young she was game for some really crazy stupid and costly ideas I had....like homesteading in Canada and briefly moving back to Southern California.     

According to an Ameritrade study, singles make less money than their married peers (on average, $8,000 dollars a year) and pay more on a wide array of costs—from housing, to health care, to cell phone plans.

[ThisisOverload]

I agree but Santa Fe is a much different place.

It's completely opposite, Santa Fe is beautiful and not very crowded. Amazing weather. Low crime and no blacks.

Albuquerque is a cesspool of white trash and Mexican trash. Lots of gang and drug violence. A hotspot for the Mexican cartels too. It's one of the worst Cities in the US to live for a bunch of reasons. I could never understand how anyone would live there. My GF has lived there for 3 years because she has a nice job and lives in Rio Rancho, which is a very nice area just outside of Albuquerque, but it's close enough to have lots of crime and violence. She's from Mexico, so it doesn't bother her much because that is normal everywhere.

Only problem with Santa Fe is that it's expensive and filled with Liberals.

But i live outside of the City in the mountains. Most people in my area are retired white folks who just want to be away from the City/people.

 

[SOMEPARTS]

   

According to an Ameritrade study, singles make less money than their married peers (on average, $8,000 dollars a year) and pay more on a wide array of costs—from housing, to health care, to cell phone plans.

Sure if you count in all the losers.

If you remain single into your 30s and 40s earning good money and don't spend like Bhank you will have everything paid off living like a king.

Once you get over that hump you can retire 15 years early. Meanwhile your married friends are asking their wives if they can spend $50.

[Les Grossman]

Sure if you count in all the losers.

If you remain single into your 30s and 40s earning good money and don't spend like Bhank you will have everything paid off living like a king.

Once you get over that hump you can retire 15 years early. Meanwhile your married friends are asking their wives if they can spend $50.

I retired at 40 and “work” solely for myself, only whenever I want. I was fortunate, worked hard, and had a lot of luck along the way.

Met my wife late in my career and have never had an unhappy moment with her.

Everyone else’s mileage may vary.

[Flexacon]

Sure if you count in all the losers.

If you remain single into your 30s and 40s earning good money and don't spend like Bhank you will have everything paid off living like a king.

Once you get over that hump you can retire 15 years early. Meanwhile your married friends are asking their wives if they can spend $50.

This is the way. Add a  healthy lifestyle and working out to that, and you'll have no problems attracting non gold digging women who are 20 years younger.

[El Diablo Blanco]

I've been married forever. A man and woman go together and compliment each other's existence. My wife was a 118lbs blonde Italian knock out when younger. Married 36 years to her and was with her longer. Now through illness and bad health she isn't a knock out anymore. With her health problems she is a mess but she is my best friend to use a corny phrase to call your wife. She has been with me through so much in life. Yes, the best of times and the worst. She drives me crazy with her non stop talking but that's who she is. She puts up with my faults and there are many. Right now she is recovering from spinal cord surgery and she can walk about 4 blocks now.  I hope she can recover to what ever extent her health allows. She is on so many perscription drugs. Yes in sickness and in health. This sounds egotistical but I'm trying to make a point about our relationship. She always tells me how women make positive comments about my looks to her. I swear if a wolverine bit off my face it wouldn't matter to her. She would love me the same.

  I work in an office with 4 knock out women. You have to see the men drool over them. The two blonds are around 37 and have one disaster after another with men in their relationships.  No, it's not the men. They are the disaster. They dress to kill and look amazing but having known them for 4 years I couldn't imagine living with them. I bet their boyfriends came to the same conclusion.  The two other girls I have hope that they will find good men because they are good people. I guess the point of this paragraph is you have to find the right woman if you're a guy. If you go by looks alone you are in for a world of hurt emotionally and finacially.

One thing I don't agree with is that line "she puts up with my faults".  Women manipulate a man to thinking this shit and that they are lucky to have the woman.  You are just human, having faults is just human.  Unless your faults are that you shit yourself and she has to clean it then she isn't doing any Mother Theresa shit with you.  They make you feel flawed, they make you feel like you are dependant on them.  You are not flawed.  The women are the flawed ones that fuck with our heads.

[IroNat]

Just keep nodding "yes" while you zone out.

[falco]

Pretend she is mentally impaired and act accordingly.

[Humble Narcissist]

It's completely opposite, Santa Fe is beautiful and not very crowded. Amazing weather. Low crime and no blacks.

Albuquerque is a cesspool of white trash and Mexican trash. Lots of gang and drug violence. A hotspot for the Mexican cartels too. It's one of the worst Cities in the US to live for a bunch of reasons. I could never understand how anyone would live there. My GF has lived there for 3 years because she has a nice job and lives in Rio Rancho, which is a very nice area just outside of Albuquerque, but it's close enough to have lots of crime and violence. She's from Mexico, so it doesn't bother her much because that is normal everywhere.

Only problem with Santa Fe is that it's expensive and filled with Liberals.

But i live outside of the City in the mountains. Most people in my area are retired white folks who just want to be away from the City/people.

I know, my best friend out west used to live in Albuquerque.

[IroNat]

I have a nephew living in Albuquerque.

A spawn of my brother's disastrous marriage.

Haven't seen him in 20 years.